


The Path Of A Variation

by Evie_adams273



Series: Theme and Variations [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Cult, Dead Parents, Dementors, Fights, Gay, Gen, Guilt, Harry Potter is an arsehole, In the end, Lily is an icon, M/M, Not Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Compliant, Not a romance, Really enjoyed writing this, Scorbus, Scorbus are young adults, Scorbus getting together, She's adorable, Violence, Young Adults, bad mental health, canon divergence from the end of the novels, decent amount of cult research, finished now that my depression is in full swing, happens to have romance, inspired by the cursed child trailer, inspired by two gifs, not a slow burn, not actually related to music (despite the name), not sorry, queer boys, recovery from severe trauma, scorpius has a younger sister, she is also traumatised, she is called anastasia, sorry - Freeform, started while i was having a nervous breakdown, unseen villains
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-12 12:34:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 41,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28510497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evie_adams273/pseuds/Evie_adams273
Summary: After the Battle of Hogwarts, a large number of the older Death Eaters, as well as some of their children, disappear off the face of the planet. It is long assumed that they are no longer a major threat.Albus Potter, at nineteen, has no friends, no life ambitions, and a whole lot of mental health problems he can't be bothered to deal with. He spends his nights walking through the countryside, often ending up on a clifftop.Scorpius Malfoy is fed up with obeying a group of people with their empty threats.When the two meet, the shift in their lives isn't immediately obvious.
Relationships: Albus Severus Potter & Ginny Weasley, Albus Severus Potter & Harry Potter, Albus Severus Potter & James Sirius Potter, Albus Severus Potter & James Sirius Potter & Lily Luna Potter, Albus Severus Potter & Lily Luna Potter, Astoria Greengrass/Draco Malfoy, Draco Malfoy & Original Female Character(s), Draco Malfoy & Scorpius Malfoy, Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Scorpius Malfoy & Original Female Character(s), Scorpius Malfoy/Albus Severus Potter
Series: Theme and Variations [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2088435
Comments: 6
Kudos: 34





	1. Changes In An Instant

**Author's Note:**

> So welcome to this huge piece of writing inspired by the trailer CC released and the cut between Scorpius and the Dementor and Albus in the final fight.
> 
> Trigger and Content Warnings will be applied throughout, but a general warning for some graphically described violence (no descriptions are particularly vital to the plot, however), threat of death, family arguments, and general pain. Also, in-depth discussion of cults.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: discussion of parental death, allusion to past trauma
> 
> Content Warnings: some eating restrictions

Albus really needed more variation in his daily routine. Since receiving his NEWT results in late July, he had done the same thing every day. He would lie in bed for a borderline worrying amount of time each morning, waiting for everyone else to finish breakfast. Then he would get up, occasionally eat, and go out.

He wouldn’t ever do anything constructive. He would walk. And walk. And walk. Until he could get home after dinner, eat something small, and go to bed.

He explored every path in the local village, walked along the trainline until he had followed it to the next village and back across the fields. Occasionally, he popped into one of the local shops and actually had a small lunch, but that was a rare occurrence.

It was a strange, probably unhealthy routine, that came with the odd point of life he had reached. He had no schoolwork, no life ambitions (currently), no friends, and his family didn’t really want him on family outings now that he was an adult. James went, but James was the good son. He put in effort in most aspects of his life. Albus didn’t. Albus put in effort with schoolwork so that he had an excuse to shut the world out, and that was now gone.

And he missed it. He missed school despite the bullying and the self-loathing. He missed the routine that enforced his eating patterns. Those had all faded to dust now. He knew he could try and fix it, but he never did.

Nearing September felt strange, knowing that he had to start his life at some point and he had little-to-no idea how to do that.

He didn’t even have a shred of an idea. There had never been anything he excelled at. His results were all decent, but they weren’t streamlined in any way. He had set himself time to try and find a temporary job while he worked things out. He had not done that.

He needed to. He needed an income and he needed to move out. Every time he saw his family, he was reminded of how he had become the guy who lived upstairs.

He had always felt like that.

He had spent most of his life hiding in his room, trying to avoid contact with the people around him. He had the ability (if you could call it that) to anger pretty much anyone he came into contact with. Mostly the arguments occurred between him and his dad, and they were unpleasant.

So he’d learnt to shut himself away more. And his dad had started to confront him over him about it. And they would argue again. Shutting down was easier.

That would happen again and again and again, and he didn’t try to stop it.

Sometimes, Albus wondered what it was like to have friends. And he’d stop caring again.

His friendships had never lasted long. He’d never had close friends. Why would he? Why would he, the Slytherin Potter, the stupid, antisocial idiot, have friends? Why did he deserve friends?

He had given up on the idea of friends by fourth year. He had decided that he would rather be alone. When things happened, only he needed to know. Which was why he remained the sole owner of the knowledge of his sexuality. And why only he knew how deep his problems really went. And why only he knew exactly why being alone was the best thing for him.

On the few occasions he had made a friend, and a friend he trusted in any capacity, they had abandoned him. They had always abandoned him and spilt any secrets he had burst out with.

Another reason he never told anyone anything anymore. His parents had tried to get him to talk to a counsellor, in Fifth Year. Albus had made up a bunch of lies and then ghosted as soon as he was sure it was all being reported back to his parents.

No such thing as confidentiality.

On one occasion, he had let a little too much truth slip and he had received concerned letters from family, all threatening visits. He’d ghosted everyone after that.

Albus kept his secrets to himself, and he never confided in anyone. He had gotten used to it, or at least, he could tell himself that. The only time that differed was when he cried himself to sleep in the middle of the night. Or when he had contemplated that suicide plan.

He didn’t do anymore. When he felt like it was a subject he might contemplate, he would go out again, and he wouldn’t stop walking until it stopped. At night, he’d normally walk far enough to reach the sea and he would sit on the cliffs for hours. However, he’d always leave at sunrise. He had never watched the sunrise. He wanted to, but he had to get home before his parents got up.

And that was his entire existence. Walking and think about how he would need to get a job and move out soon.

About a week into September, Albus took the plunge. He broke his routine for the first time in a month and a half and came down to breakfast. His palms were sweaty and he struggled to stop his limbs from shaking once he had gotten food and sat down, but he still let himself smile about it afterwards.

He’d had breakfast. He had done something generally considered healthy. He hadn’t slept, but he could take it one step at a time.

After breakfast, he sat down at his desk and pulled out the stack of careers leaflets he had been given at the end of school. He started to sift through them, sorting them into ‘unachievable’, ‘unbearable’ and ‘this might work’.

Healing. He didn’t have the right NEWTs. Curse breaking. Not something he had a remote interest in. Flying. He couldn’t do that.

He sighed. He would probably have to admit to himself, at some point, that he would end up working in a Ministry entry-level desk job, or at a shop on Diagon Alley. He wouldn’t necessarily mind the latter. Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes would probably take while he got himself on track.

He could write to them, and then, once he was out in the actual world, he could look into something a little more permanent.

Maybe something to do with animals. He liked the idea of that. He’d always liked Care of Magical Creatures, though whether that had simply been down to it being a quiet lesson and therefore a bit of down time, he didn’t know. But he could look into it. For now, a temporary job providing him with a decent income was all he needed.

* * *

Scorpius groaned his door was thrown open and light spilled into the room. He pulled his pillow over his face in protest, resisting the urge to simply throw it across the room. He’d known that he would be in trouble now since the moment he had not set his alarm the previous evening, but having that level of light invade his space was still a shock to the system.

Some curtains being thrown open, the sort of gentle morning sunlight Scorpius had read about might have been nice, but that was the trouble with living underground. No windows. Apparently, there was natural light in one Cavern, but most people weren’t permitted in there.

His father’s voice rang through the silence and Scorpius groaned again, closing his eyes. Apparently he had not given off clear enough signals that he didn’t care.

“Get up, Scorpius.” Pause. “Get up, now.”

“Why?”

“Because you are late and you are going to get into trouble.”

Scorpius sat up, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. He hated that response, though it was always the same. Do it because otherwise there will be consequences. Do it because otherwise you might get hurt. Whoever had come up with it didn’t seem to realise that fear faded. If your leader was faceless and shadowy for long enough, you looked into the shadows, and you realised there was very little to be afraid.

It had been years since Scorpius had been afraid of the place he lived. It had, however, only been a year since he had started to actively question things. And it had been about four days since he had decided to try breaking some rules.

Starting with the simplest: get up on time.

He hadn’t, resulting with his father storming into his room with the usual threats about being in trouble. Scorpius wondered why his dad wasn’t with his younger sister, but he didn’t care. 

“Why do I have to get up?” he muttered.

“Because that is the rule.”

“Who is enforcing the rule?”

“Scorpius, please don’t do this.”

“Why not? I’ve lived in this place for nearly twenty years. You’ve been here for twenty-five. Have you ever asked anything about this place?”

“Keep your voice down.”

“But have you?”

“You remind me so much of your mother.”

“And that’s a bad thing?”

Scorpius watched as his father stopped. He kept his gaze steely, not letting his father off the hook for what he had said. It hurt when his mum was mentioned in that way, as if following in her footsteps was a bad thing. He hated it. He hated that every mention of her, from anyone, seemed to be tinged with disappointment and hatred. No one told him the stories they used to, about the strong and loving and compassionate woman. And decent. A decent person. There didn’t seem to be many of those here.

Of course, there was always the possibility that the disappointment and hatred was something they directed at him rather than her. He couldn’t blame his father for that.

“It’s not a bad thing,” his father started slowly.

“Is it not?” Scorpius said. “You don’t ever seem to say anything positive about her.”

“Her passing–”

“Did she question things?” Scorpius half-snapped. “Was that it? Did she question things the way I do? The way that she taught me?”

“It’s better to accept some things.”

“Okay,” Scorpius nodded. “Some things. Like the fact that the Earth orbits the sun. Or the fact that the continents are moving. But this is not a ‘thing’. This is a life – my life. And you can’t just expect people not to question it.”

His father glanced at the door before taking a deep breath. Somehow, they had ended up talking about Astoria. Scorpius hated it. Talking about his mum always brought up too many emotions. Too many to cope with and maintain a steady conversation.

She had been dead for five years, and he still didn’t know whether he had coped with it. At first, it hadn’t seemed like she was really gone, because he had only been allowed to see her four times a week while she was sick. When it had finally dawned on him that she couldn’t come back, he had turned to numbness. No one had prompted him to take his emotions elsewhere. So he hadn’t.

It had happened naturally, and it had taken years. Not that anyone knew. Everyone around him likely assumed he had grieved and moved on privately. All the adults had liked to congratulate him on how well he had dealt with it. They were all proud of him for keeping up appearances for his two-year old sister. No one knew that he was still trying to grieve.

Not even his father.

“Listen, Scorpius. I can’t tell you what’s going because I’m not authorized to. I know it’s hard, but you will get more answers if you keep your head down and work hard.”

Scorpius scoffed. “Where you can.”

“Break the rules.”

“Scorpius…”

“What is the threat here? What is the thing keeping us in line? Honestly? They went through with their only threat. They won’t waste their energy on me and Ana is protected by existing. Empty threats don’t work. I’m not scared. What is the threat now that they’ve used all their ammunition?”

“Think about your sister.”

“Can I go outside?”

“Scorpius, be reasonable.”

“I’ll stop asking questions. Let me go outside. Let me have some human contact with people my age.”

“No one knows you exist. If you got caught, you could be arrested.”

“I’ll dye my hair,” Scorpius lied (he had no such intention), “and I’ll lie about my name. I’ll use – I don’t know – Samuel. Or something.” That part wasn’t a lie.”

“I’ll see what I can do. Now, get up.”

Scorpius obliged this time, folding his duvet and pulling some robes out of the wardrobe. He still had plenty of questions, but they could wait. He could put his ‘rebellious’ phase on hold for the potential of going outside. He might even be able to find the answers for himself in that scenario.

“Wait,” he said as his father crossed to the door. “One more question?”

“Scorpius…”

“One.”

“Fine.”

“Is this a cult?”

“Excuse me?”

“We live underground. We’re all serving something that most of us don’t understand or even know the purpose of. Everyone just does what they’re told. Kaylee and I have had similar upbringings and she is mental and I am not, well not like her. Is this a cult?”

“I should not have let your mother read you those books so early on,” his father sighed. “I didn’t even know she had a book on cults.”

“It was at the back of one of them,” Scorpius nodded. “And I know about the war. I’m working out what this group is, or I’m trying to. I just don’t understand why.”

“What do you think this group is?”

“Death Eaters who managed to escape arrest after the Battle of Hogwarts and are now rallying around to do – something.”

“Don’t ask questions and I’ll see what I can do about you going outside.”

Scorpius watched him leave, not able to fully comprehend why he was so distant before he turned back to what he was doing. He could keep his questions to himself for a bit longer and it would all work out in some way or another. If he got out, he could get away eventually.

The question was whether that was what he wanted.

Whatever they were doing here, he didn’t want anything to do with it. But he didn’t know what he would get from a ‘normal’ life. He knew there was a wizarding school and Scorpius knew he couldn’t compete with an education like that. He had huge gaps, a suspicious knowledge of dark magic, and also some healing skills (though they would never be enough to sustain a job).

He didn’t have the skills of capacity to just start a job, and that was just on a practically level. Add the waning numbness in his chest to the equation and you had a recipe for disaster.

Scorpius didn’t have any plan for the day he started to feel things again.

He didn’t fuss. His autopilot worked, for the most part. It took over as he stood up, made the bed, got dressed, and left the room, locking it behind him. He always locked his door. People didn’t know what was good for them.

Someone coughed from behind him and he rolled his eyes, knowing that when he turned around, Kaylee would be leaning on the wall behind him, constantly glaring at a watch she probably wasn’t meant to have. Watches at seventeen was a ‘Mudblood Induced Idea’. Apparently one she was allowed to break, for whatever reason.

“You’re late,” she snapped when Scorpius turned around.

“I overslept.”

“You’re always late when you’re meant to be seeing me.”

“Crazy coincidence.”

“You’re an arsehole.”

“Only to you.”

Scorpius didn’t wait for whatever offence Kaylee would take to that statement, taking off down the corridor with a small smile playing at his lips.

* * *

Albus started to apply for jobs, setting aside the time in an attempt to get his routine back on track. He still went out walking a lot, but he had actually started to talk to other people, on occasion. However, the emotional exhaustion of that often led to him crying himself sleep, late at night.

His midnight cliff walks started to get more regular as a direct result. He liked them. His time where he could trail across the fields and shout and scream if he needed to.

One night, a night where he had the entire world crashing into his mind at high speed, he hadn’t walked his normal route: he had run it. He needed the air to rush through his ears. He needed the wind in his face. He needed the thumping of his feet on the ground.

He needed to remember that he wouldn’t be alone forever.

When he got to the base of the slope, leading to the top of the cliffs, Albus all but sprinted up it. If the tide was in, and it should have been, he would be able to feel the sea spray on his face. He would have a distraction. He would have a distraction that could pull him out into the moonlight and allow him to be free.

Albus stopped short as he spotted a figure on the cliff edge, barely illuminated in the starlight. Albus kept walking with a small reminder to himself that he was allowed to take up space when another person was around. The man turned around as he approached, shrinking back as their eyes met. Albus smiled.

He passed him, sitting down on the grass and dangling his legs over the edge of the rocks. He laughed as a gust of wind roared past, nearly pulling him over the edge. He knew he wouldn’t fall; it had happened a thousand times before. He lay back, staring up at the sky, and then smiled as he saw the man was also staring upwards.

“It’s beautiful,” Albus said quietly.

“Hm?”

“The stars. The sea. All of it.”

“Oh. Yeah.”

Albus did not know where the sudden confidence to start a conversation had come from, but he liked it. He liked this casual interaction with someone who looked like they were vaguely his age.

“Are you okay?” he asked. “It’s really late.”

“I could ask the same of you. You’re also up here at a ridiculous hour.”

“I come up here a lot,” he smiled, “and I know I’m not okay.”

The man looked unsure as to whether he could laugh. “I’ve not been allowed out alone before. I’d love to come up here again, though.”

Albus sat up, turning to face the man. He attempted another smile or offer of reassurance, though he didn’t know what for. The man returned it cautiously, coming to sit beside him. They sat in awkward silence for a few minutes, the man staring out at the sea and the sky as if he had never seen the world before.

“Do you think the stars are good?” he asked eventually.

“What?”

“Sorry. Ignore me. Stupid question to launch into when we met ten minutes ago.”

“No, it’s fine,” Albus paused to considered. “I think – I guess, yeah. I think stars are good. If an object could be inherently good or bad.”

“Everyone in my family is named after something star-related. Not sure why. And nobody – nobody is a good person. Not even me. I don’t understand that. The only good person is my little sister, and she’s not named after a star.”

“You don’t seem bad.”

“You don’t know me. We’ve ended up on a clifftop at four in the morning and made assumptions about one another. And given my – background, most of your assumptions will probably be wrong.”

“I’d like to get to know you. You seem interesting.”

“Do I?”

“You do. I’m Albus.”

“I’m – err – I’m…” the man froze. “I’m Samuel.”

“No, you’re not. You said you were all named after stars, and while I did fail Astronomy, I know Samuel has nothing to do with stars. But you don’t have to tell me your name if you don’t want to. I get it.”

“Thank you,” Not-Samuel smiled gratefully. “So, what brings you up here?”

“Needed to clear my head and remind myself that I am, somehow, not dead yet,” Albus shrugged. “It’s a near-daily thing, to be honest. You?”

“Got given the chance to go out alone. I took it.”

“How old are you?”

“Nineteen.”

“And you’re not allowed out alone?”

“Uptight family,” Not-Samuel shrugged. “I’ve lived my life in a very secluded – I suppose you’d have to call it a community. Only left once before. Twice now.

“What about school?”

“Technically, everyone around my age is or has been home-schooled, but that’s a debatable name for it.”

Albus nodded, unsure of what to answer with. It explained why he had never met the man before. They should have been in the same year at Hogwarts. But he still had a hundred questions. He had never met anyone his age outside of Hogwarts before.

“What sort of stuff do you like?” he asked.

“Reading. And healing. That’s pretty much all I’m allowed to do.”

“That sounds awful.”

“That bit’s not that bad. It’s more the ridiculous number of rules and threats and shit. It’s stupid. I don’t like it, but I don’t really have any options elsewhere. My dad and sister are there, and I don’t have a clue where my family are outside of it. I don’t even know if I have any. And it’s not like I can just start a life when I’ve got no idea how the world works.”

Albus nodded again, looking out over the sea. He could make out a couple of boats peeking over the horizon, and he sighed. The sun would rise soon. He would be late home and have to actually work out an excuse for being out in the middle of the night.

But he didn’t mind. Spending time with the man sat beside him seemed a worthy reason to have to explain himself. He didn’t understand why. He didn’t understand why he felt ready to trust this stranger with parts of himself he had vowed never to share. He didn’t understand why he wanted to.

He had trusted enough people who had betrayed him. He had made enough mistakes. Why did he now want to make more? Surely trusting this man would be a mistake. Surely all of it would be a mistake.

The man stiffened beside him, pulling himself to his feet and starting to mutter to himself Albus looked at him.

“Are you okay?” he stood up.

“Yeah,” the man nodded. “Lost track of time. Sunrise soon and I was supposed to be back by now.

“Oh, I’m sorry.

“Don’t be. I – this has been really nice. Thank you.”

“Will you be back?”

“I’ll try.”

“I’ll be here,” Albus smiled. “Every night, probably. Reminding myself I’m still alive and that the stars are good things. At least your star, whatever that may be.”

The man smiled back, and Albus caught an almost-proper glance at his face as the sun peeked over the horizon. He had light hair and a smile that made Albus’ heart melt. The man turned and started to walk, his pace quickening with each step. Until he stopped, turned, and started to walk back. Albus met him halfway.

“Thank you,” the man said. “I – I can’t really explain what I’m thanking you for. But thank you. I’ll try to explain one day.”

Albus smiled as he watched him run back down the hill. It seemed strange that this person he had never met before made him feel this warm and safe. He trusted him. He seemed kind and smart and like he also needed to heal. Albus trusted that.

He seemed genuine. No one had ever seemed this genuine before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we have this thing where you can track the course of my mental health more than the notes section of Broken Wings (I reread my notes from that the other night - just watched myself get more and more depressed)  
> This is a big project and I'd like to say a thank you to the person who's proof read for more to combat my awful typos.  
> I have a doctor's appt this week! So happy to finally be getting diagnosis processes underway (even if I haven't told my parents yet).
> 
> Thanks for reading  
> Kudos and comments always appreciated  
> Twitter: @evie_adams273
> 
> Fuck JKR  
> Fuck TERFs  
> Black Lives Matter


	2. Balancing Every Priority

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Meal Skipping

Albus went to the clifftop every night after his first meeting with the man. He evolved a new routine from this, managing to incorporate looking for a job and subsequently moving out.

He would sleep in until a reasonable time, write letters to various places in the afternoon, while making specific time to eat, and then he would go out in the evenings. He’d apparate to the cliffs with a book or something else to do, and he would wait.

Most nights, he spent the time alone, but he still enjoyed it. Even if he didn’t see the man, he had grown to like the routine, and he didn’t want to upset the fact that he had started to eat and sleep to a consistent degree.

When he got a job, he would be able to work that into the schedule too. He’d have less time spent at the cliffs on the nights he wanted to walk home, but he could split necessary sleep into naps that took place around the day. In other words, he would be fine. He would always be fine.

About two weeks into this new routine, Albus was sat on the cliff edge reading a book (by wand-light) that he had borrowed from his sister, when he heard footsteps behind him. He looked up to see the approaching, somewhat nervously.

Albus smiled, waving, and the man smiled back. He already looked a little more at ease and Albus hoped that reflected what he was feeling.

“Hey,” he continued to smile. “How are you?”

“I’m – I’m okay,” the man sat down. “You?”

“I’m really good.”

“How come?”

“You.”

“Me?”

“Meeting you has made me rework my daily routine and it’s – it’s better than it was before.”

“In what way?”

“I’m eating and sleeping and looking for a job.”

The man frowned and Albus smiled again, starting to laugh. The man seemed a little cautious to join him, but he did, and Albus lay back to stare at the sky again. The ground was damp. The stars were out, and he glanced all over the sky.

“You said something about stars last time,” Albus murmured. “What do you think about constellations?”

“What about them?”

“Do they make sense? I mean, who looks at the sky and says, ‘that looks like a hamster’.”

“There isn’t a constellation named after a hamster,” the man laughed.

“But you know what I mean,” Albus said. “Who sees a shape?”

“I do,” the man pointed upwards. “Those ones there, they’re called Cassiopeia. She was a Greek Queen who claimed she was better than the Gods and the Gods got angry. They said she could revoke her claim, or sacrifice her daughter. She did the latter, so that’s her daughter, Andromeda,” he indicated, “about to be eaten by a sea monster, except Perseus,” he indicated again, “will save her.”

“Holy shit,” Albus muttered. “Greek history sounds insane.”

“That’s just one set of constellations,” the man kept laughing.

Albus nodded, his eyes darting between the few that had just been pointed out to him. He still couldn’t see a shape, but he appreciated the story. It was, at the very least, very entertaining, even if it was highly unlikely to be real. But he could also understand where it had stemmed from, if you accepted that people could see shapes in stars.

“So,” Albus glanced over, “you got out again.”

“Yeah,” the man nodded. “I think it’s going to be a regular thing, so long as I don’t let slip that I’m meeting someone. They should be happy to let me come sit on a clifftop once or twice again.

“They sound awful.”

“They’re not. They’re just obedient. And they don’t really try to understand a lot. Well, I don’t think half of them can. Growing up in the centre of a cult-thing seems to do that to a person. When things are glossed over…I don’t know.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s not that important. I lost someone. People assumed I grieved privately and I’m fine when I’m not.”

“Oh. I’m – I’m sorry.”

“Not your fault that I numbed myself and it’s starting to spill out.”

“Still – I – is there anything I can do?”

“Be my friend.”

Albus hesitated, biting his lip. He hadn’t really thought about that as a question. Friend. The concept of friends hadn’t been a positive one since age eleven. He didn’t want to think of it as a friendship, because it put him in mind of everything that had ever gone wrong, but that’s what this was. He had a friend.

A person he shared mutual trust with. A person who cared about him and he cared about. A person he could confide in. A person who felt confident to confide in him. That definitely felt foreign.

“Albus?”

“I’m sorry,” Albus blurted. “Uh – yes. I’ll be your friend. Sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing?”

“I hesitated.”

“You’re allowed to take time to make a significant decision.”

“No, it’s not that. I – I think I already thought of you as a friend, I just wasn’t using that label. Typically, friends haven’t been particularly kind to me.”

“I’m sorry,” now the man was apologizing. “What happened? If I’m allowed to ask.”

“General betrayal of trust,” Albus shrugged. “Nothing major. It just kept happening and means I have no friends anymore. And I keep all secrets to myself.”

“Do you tell your family?”

“Sometimes I tell my sister. But I don’t get on well with my dad, and that carries over to everyone else.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Not your fault.”

“What happened with your dad?”

Albus tried to think of the best way to phrase it. He didn’t want to mention being a Potter, if he could help, but then again, it was probably better to get that out in the open. Before he got overly attached to the whole thing. If the beginnings of the friendship got wrecked now, he could get over that.

“I don’t get on well with him,” Albus explained. “He’s really famous among certain people and I don’t deal well with it. And we don’t communicate well. Shit just broke down a few years ago. We never fixed it.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Not your fault.”

“Can I help?”

“Don’t be weird about who he is.”

“I don’t think I know who he is. I mean – secluded upbringing and that.”

“Harry Potter?”

“Oh. Right. Yeah. Okay.”

Albus knew that he had made a mistake. The man started to stiffen, sitting up and looking out over the sea. Albus squeezed his eyes shut, mentally kicking himself. He had ruined it. He’d been given a chance to be happy and he had fucked it up because he thought things should be out in the open.

The man stood, saying that he had to go, that his time was up, and Albus said goodbye. He watched him disappear down the hill, almost at the run. Albus’ eyes filled with angry tears as he dug his nails into his palms. He had told himself that he would be able to cope with it now. Apparently that was not true.

He had been so damn close to a friend. To someone who cared about him, even when they weren’t obliged to.

And he’d fucked it up.

* * *

Scorpius tried not to panic as he sprinted down the hill. Potter. He had been speaking to a Potter, and he had enjoyed it. And if anyone ever found out, he would never see him again.

Of course, that was if Albus even wanted anything to do with him after he admitted who he was. Because he also had to do that at some point. Would Albus Potter really want to be around him? A Malfoy who, according to the rest of the world, didn’t even exist.

Or maybe that wouldn’t make a difference because he was already a terrible person. He had asked Albus to admit something incredibly personal, something he had been obviously afraid to admit, and then he, Scorpius, had upped and left.

From what he knew about Albus, he didn’t trust easily, and when he did, it was earnt. Somehow, Scorpius had earnt it in a matter of hours, and then wrecked it. And he was kicking himself over it.

He wouldn’t get out to the cliffs again for at least another two weeks, by which time Albus would have given up on him. He had to get out again, tomorrow, and pray that Albus would come back two nights in a row. But Scorpius needed to talk to Albus. He needed to tell Albus what he hadn’t had the courage to say tonight. He needed to tell Albus how much he meant to him.

No one had ever talked to him about love and crushes (he had a feeling that was what they were called). No one had ever considered that he might want that knowledge. But he didn’t really need it now. He didn’t need an explanation. He knew what ‘crushes’ felt like because that was how he felt about Albus. Albus Potter.

He had started to fall in love with a man he had only met twice. A man he barely knew. A man he had not seen properly because of the dark.

It was stupid, but he didn’t want to shut it out and ignore it. Since he had met Albus, he had felt better in his life. The thought of Albus, the thought of a future conversation with him, had kept him afloat for two weeks. He felt safe, comforted. The way he hadn’t felt in five years.

He didn’t want to lose that, and if he had to wait two weeks before he could even attempt another meeting, he would lose it.

Scorpius came stumbling to a halt as he saw his father waiting for him on the corner. He tried to think of something to say that would convince him to be allowed out tomorrow, without admitting he was spending time with a Potter, of all people.

“You’re out,” his father noted.

“I thought I was going to be late,” Scorpius lied. “Listen, dad, could I ask – something?”

“Can it wait?”

“Yes.”

Scorpius took his father’s arm as they disapparated, appearing in the Main Hall of the place he was supposed to call home – the Caverns. This one tiny spot was the only place you could apparate in and out of in the entire place, and it was about as far from privacy as you could get.

Scorpius kept his head down as they walked back to the series of rooms they were permitted. He ignored a woman who flashed him a grin, cutting off the thoughts of ‘where had he seen her before?’ She seemed strange, almost out of place.

Scorpius sat down at the table as they arrived back. His father sat down opposite him.

“What did you want to ask?”

“Can I…” Scorpius stumbled a little, “can I go back tomorrow?”

“What?”

“Can I go back to the cliffs tomorrow? There’s – there’s something I want to see.”

“Did you not see it tonight?”

“I’d like to see it again.” Scorpius paused. “I won’t go out again for a few weeks. I just – please. Tomorrow?”

“Someone could see you. This is a major risk.”

“It’s the middle of the night in a quiet sea town. No one sees me. Or if they do, they already have.”

“What do you want to see?”

“The birds,” Scorpius didn’t hesitate this time. “They came just before sunrise, and it was beautiful. It felt so different. Free. And happy. I felt happy.”

“Do you not feel happy here?”

“Do you?”

Scorpius let the silence hang for a moment to give them both time to adjust to his mum as a topic of conversation. 

“I know we didn’t talk a lot after – after she died,” Scorpius started quietly, “and I know it doesn’t look like it affected me, but it did. I know I deserve that because it was my fault. But it’s – it’s starting to spill out. A lot. And it’s messy. But when the birds came up this morning, I felt free. Or – or like I could spill over and it would be okay. I – I need to feel that again. Please.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Just once more. At least for now.”

“Let me see if I can sort something out. I’m making no promises.”

Scorpius nodded. He didn’t push it. He knew that nothing good would come of pushing his luck, so he just had to wait and hope that, if he couldn’t get out, he might be able to send some sort of letter. That was probably more unlikely. Still, he could hope.

“And, Scorpius?”

“Dad?”

“Your mother’s death was not your fault.”

* * *

Albus didn’t get out of bed before breakfast the next morning, being woke from his doze by someone rapping on his bedroom door. He groaned, about to tell whoever it was to piss off, when the door opened earlier and James entered. Albus didn’t move, staring at the ceiling and trying to force his eyes to be ‘tired’.

He hadn’t slept. He couldn’t sleep. He couldn’t sleep when a person that he cared so much about, so inexplicably, had just left.

He should have gotten over himself. He had spent five or six hours with this man, tops. He didn’t even know his name. getting this hung up on a potential friendship was pathetic. Except he couldn’t help it.

“Hey, mate,” James sat down on his bed. “What’s going on?”

“Why do you think something’s going on?” Albus muttered.

“Because you skipped breakfast, and you don’t do that anymore. What happened?”

Albus rolled over, burying his face in the pillow with half a thought about the possibility of suffocating himself. He wanted to close his eyes and disappear. He wanted to blink and wait for nothing to matter anymore. He wanted to take a breath and no longer need other humans in order to survive happily.

“Albus.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It does if you’re not going to eat.”

“I’ll eat later.”

“Will you?”

“Probably not.”

“Then talk to me. Please.”

Albus sat up, looking at his brother. James smiled at him and Albus rolled his eyes. He wrapped his arms around a pillow and sighed.

“Fine,” he mumbled. “You win.”

“Take your time.”

“I made a friend.”

“Or don’t.”

“James.”

“Sorry. Yes. You made a friend. Go on.”

“I met him and he asked me to be friends. I really like him, too. He’s sweet, and he’s got this way of telling stories – it’s just so magical. He could recite a textbook and I think I’d find it interesting. I think he would too. He seems really smart. I don’t know. But it doesn’t matter. I fucked it up. I really fucked it up.”

“What did you do?” James asked gently.

“It’s been – because the two times we’ve met have been the middle of the night, he didn’t see what I look like. We were talking about family. I mentioned not getting along with dad. He asked why. I admitted I was a Potter. And he left.”

“Okay,” James nodded. “I’ve got a few questions.”

“Fire away.”

“Did he say anything?”

“Just that he had to go. I know he’s got a time limit, but the sun hadn’t started to rise. That’s what happened last time. I don’t know. Maybe I’m just overthinking it.”

“Can I ask his name?”

“I don’t know it,” Albus muttered. “He didn’t want to tell me. It’s something about where he lives and who with and stuff. I didn’t push it. He was really nervous. I don’t think he expected to run into a random guy on a cliff in the middle of the night.”

“Okay. One more question. Are you gay? Or bi? Or pan? Just so I’m using the right term for you.”Albus frowned. “I’m gay. But I don’t really see how that’s relevant here.”

“You don’t?” James raised an eyebrow.

“He’s a friend.”

“Albus, you have a fat crush on him. It’s very obvious.”

“What?”

“You never trust people. You never have. But you’re talking about this guy as if you’ve known him for years. For Merlin’s sake, you’re sulking in bed over this. And you’ve met how many times?”

“Twice.”

“You are falling in love, and I would like you to properly examine this and not let it get permanently fucked up. Because you deserve to be happy.”

Silence fell and Albus lay back at, refixing his gaze on the ceiling. He had just, very quietly, poured out his heart and soul, and he knew that James was right. He had a crush on an unattainable person and he’d had his heart broken before they had started anything. He felt like living shit.

“I think you should go back tonight,” James grinned.

“What’s the point?” Albus muttered. “Even if he still wants something to do with me, he won’t be able to get out tonight. He seems to live in a really controlling community. I’ve only seen him twice in a month.”

“I still think you should go up there. To clear your head. And if he’s there, you can talk this out.”

“Yeah,” Albus nodded, though he didn’t really believe it.

“Hey, mate. If it doesn’t work out, I’ll be here for you. As will Lily.”

“I know.” Silence. “I don’t know. I might go back for a bit. Maybe. I’ll see what happens.”

James nodded, standing up. He reminded Albus to eat something and closed the door as he left. Albus closed his eyes. He didn’t want to break his routine, but if he went up and the man didn’t come (which he wouldn’t), then he would probably dig himself further into this hole. Still, maybe it would be worth it.

Maybe.

* * *

The day turned out to be hugely unproductive and Albus made the decision to go to the cliffs after the dinner he had skipped. As James had put it, he could clear his head. Hopefully. He could always go to a different part of the cliffs, but then he had no chance of seeing the man. He kept holding out a tiny piece of hope. Just a tiny piece.

Of course, it wouldn’t come through. Assuming that he even wanted to, he couldn’t have gotten out two nights in a row.

Every time that Albus ended up in that round of thoughts, he cursed himself. It was stupid. He had to pull himself back and just admit to himself that he wasn’t destined for friends or anything else.

As he made his way out of the house, earlier than he normally did, James shoved a bag into his hands. He looked at it with frown.

“Food,” James explained. “You haven’t eaten today. Eat. Please.”

“I might.” Merlin. That was becoming his motto. “Thank you.”

Albus walked to the cliff rather than apparate. The lack of sleep and food had a rather negative impact on his motivation, but he had all the time in the world. He kept walking.

He dangled his legs over the edge of the cliff when he arrived, smiling at the sheer level of danger he was putting himself in. He liked flaunting with death. It was a comfort. Or maybe it was just the wind.

Albus didn’t know. He didn’t care.

It was a distraction. It was all one big distraction. If that meant that he could forget the world and stare at the waves below him, he didn’t care.

Or that was what he told himself. If he told himself that enough times, maybe he would start to believe it. Maybe. Possibly. Hopefully.

“Albus.”

Albus looked around to see the man approaching him. The man smiled.

“You came?” he stared. “I thought – I thought you didn’t want anything to do with me.”

“What?” the man froze. “No. No. I do. I panicked. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Albus lied. “Yeah, I’m okay.”

“Are you?”

Albus paused.

“No. No, I’m not. I was really worried you didn’t like me. Or something. I don’t know.”

“I’m sorry. I should have stayed. I do – I want to be – friends. I want to be friends with you.”

Albus’ heart sunk as he said that. He had spent much of his day fixating on what James had said, and he was starting to realise his brother was right. Still. He remained friends with the man, and that had to be good enough for the moment.

“Do you want some food?” he asked. “My brother made me bring something to eat.”

“Have you not eaten today?”

“Not really.”

“Oh shit. I’m sorry.”

“Again,” Albus smiled, “it’s not your fault. I’m being stupid.”

“You’re not. I should have stayed.”

“Hey,” Albus said softly. “Don’t beat yourself up over it. You’re here now. Which is amazing.”

The man nodded, sitting down beside him in their usual spot. Albus passed him a bread roll. The man raised his eyebrows, gesturing for him to take one too, and then refused to start until Albus had bitten into his. Albus laughed.

“I wanted to say,” the man said, “I thought you should know – well – you deserve to know my name.”

“Oh, thank you,” Albus smiled. “I – yeah – wow. Thank you.”

“You – please don’t tell anyone. Please don’t say anything. I don’t know what would happen if you did.”

“Okay,” Albus nodded. “Okay, that’s fine.”

“And I understand if you don’t want anything to do with me. I get that.”

“After my name?”

“I’m probably worse.”

“I’m not going to take any issue with it. I would like to get to know you more, and we are not our names.”

“I’d like to get to know you more too.” Pause. “I know I can’t come out a lot – but if you’re okay with that…”

“I’m okay with it,” Albus nodded. “I haven’t had a friend since I was twelve.”

“How old are you?”

“Nearly twenty.”

“Oh. Oh. That’s a long time.”

“I got used to it. Anyway, sorry. I’ve side-tracked you.”

“Uh. Well. Crap. Okay.” Pause. “My name is Scorpius Malfoy.”

“Malfoy? Like – like Draco Malfoy?”

“Gotta love my father.”

Albus took a moment to process this information. He had heard stories of the Malfoys from his dad, about how they had disappeared after the Battle of Hogwarts, along with every other Death Eater who they hadn’t managed to arrest. It hadn’t occurred to him that they would still be in the country, that they would have continued with their lives. But here he was, sat beside Draco Malfoy’s son.

“Like I said,” Scorpius mumbled, “I understand if you don’t want anything to do with me.”

“I want something to do with you,” Albus smiled. “It’s a surname. It’s not a definition of you as a person. You are your own person, and you’re wonderful.”

“You barely know me.”

“Then tell me about yourself.”

“Can I ask you questions too?”

“Of course.”

Albus listened as Scorpius began to explain his life in more detail, his history and how he lived taken the focal point. There were often large gaps in the explanations, but Albus didn’t press them. Scorpius had secrets. He understood that. He wanted Scorpius to be happy, comfortable. Not least because his smile was like a breath of fresh air.

When Scorpius started to ask him questions, he answered honestly, without his filter. He didn’t need it. It was hypersensitive to the truth and he didn’t want to lie. Scorpius listened to him, respected him. So Albus did his best not to lie.

Eventually, the questions reached something a little more light-hearted and fun, and they laughed together. There was something incredibly endearing about Scorpius pestering him for answers on what going to Hogwarts was like. He only wished that he could have put a more positive spin on his experience. Scorpius’ enthusiasm made him smile more than he could recall smiling in months.

“Have you ever had a crush on someone?”

Albus stopped. The question hadn’t come out of the blue, but it slapped him across the face, knocking the breath out of him.

“I – once.”

“Only once?”

“Well, twice,” Albus shrugged. “Once, when I worked out that I am a gay little fucker.”

“Can I ask about the other one?”

“Now.”

“Now?”

“You.”

Albus looked out over the sea, marveling at his own stupidity and ability to mess it up twice in two days. For some reasons, he couldn’t keep him mouth shut and honestly was not the best policy. 

“You’ve got a crush on me?”

“Yeah.”

There was another silence. Albus considered letting the wind blow him over the cliff-edge. Before he could, Scorpius reached over and took his hand. Albus glanced up as Scorpius placed a hand under his chin.

And leaned in to kiss him.

After Albus had recovered from the shock of the moment, he kissed Scorpius back, starting to run his hands through his hair. He closed his eyes and let it happen. Because he wanted it.

His first kiss, with a person he truly, truly cared about. His first kiss on a cliff as the sun began to rise because they had talked all night. His first kiss because he wanted it and it mattered more to him than anything had ever mattered before.

When Scorpius drew back, Albus smiled, wrapping his arms around him.

“Thank you,” he whispered. “Thank you so much.”

“I love you,” Scorpius murmured back. “You saved me and I love you.”

“I think – I think…”

“Shhh,” Scorpius looked him in the eye. “You don’t have to say it back if you don’t want to. I know we’ve only just met. I’m rushing. And before you say you’re sorry, you don’t have anything to apologise for.”

“Thank you for saying,” Albus said. “It means – everything. I just – I don’t know what’s going on in my head. Can you give me some time?”

“Of course,” Scorpius smiled. “Take all the time you need. And don’t – don’t feel pressurized to feel a certain way. It’s your choice.”

“Thank you,” Albus leant into kiss Scorpius on the cheek.

He wanted to love Scorpius, and he wanted to say it, scream it from the rooftops, even. But after so long, he needed time. He needed to know things would work before he made a rash decision and saw them crash and burn.

But this time, he knew it wouldn’t. This time, he would be okay.

He just wasn’t willing to take more than one chance at this point in time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading  
> Kudos and comments very welcome  
> Twitter: @evie_adams273
> 
> Fuck JKR and TERFs   
> Black Lives Matter


	3. The Beginning of the End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings: graphic violence and threat, injury description, 
> 
> Content warnings: grief, impromptu coming out

Scorpius saw Albus every two or three weeks after their first kiss. They would talk, from the moment they met each night, until the sun rose. Scorpius admitted more and more about his life to Albus, and Albus tried to suggest ways to make it slightly better within the confines of existence.

Scorpius knew talking about it probably wasn’t a good idea. What with Albus being the son of the most famous ‘good guy’ in history. If they were found out, Scorpius knew they would be in unimaginable trouble. He didn’t want to get his boyfriend arrested but Albus didn’t seem to mind.

Scorpius continually got the impression that Albus was not close to his family in any way, and he wanted to be there for him. Scorpius could see so much pain and fear spilling from him every time they talked, making Albus quiet as the tears rolled down his cheeks. Bitter, angry tears. Scorpius never pushed him, instead supporting and giving sympathy. That seemed to help.

In early November, Albus arrived with a huge grin on his face and the news that he had managed to secure a job at a Magical Creature Sanctuary. Scorpius was so proud of him. He knew how long Albus had been looking for a job, and couldn’t help but be happy at Albus’ excitement to start.

Albus tried to push the credit onto Scorpius several times, and Scorpius pushed it right back. He made sure to shower Albus with praise, because that was what he deserved, and Albus seemed oddly determined not to accept the amazing things he had done.

Now that they were drawing closer to Christmas, both of them were expected to be around their family more. Neither wanted to, and Albus kept making jokes about not even trying to turn up because his presence never made a difference. Scorpius was quick to correct him. He was wholly determined not to let Albus fall into his hole of self-loathing.

Now, Scorpius curled up on his bed, smiling to himself. He could never not smile when he thought about Albus, about the man who had brought light into his life. About the man who never stopped trying to make him happy.

Scorpius’ father had commented, on one or two occasions, on his son’s happiness. Scorpius passed it off with more lies about a bird. Apparently that was a believable lie, and if it wasn’t, he’d probably end up dead.

But he didn’t have to concentrate on that right now. Right now, he could concentrate on the fact that he was in love and that the person he loved cared about him too. They had kissed. Every time they saw each other, they promised that they would see each other again.

Scorpius believed that. While he cursed himself for making Albus panic, he knew that it meant that Albus truly, truly cared about him. He wanted to be around Scorpius, be with him, and that meant more to Scorpius than he could ever really explain.

It had been a very long time since he had felt loved like this – completely and unequivocally. And now he had it, and he smiled because of it. Someone would question his happiness soon, but for now, he had a wonderful secret.

“You smile more now.”

Scorpius looked over at his sister, Anastasia, as she sat down beside him on the bed. He smiled at her. She smiled back, taking his hand.

“You smile more now,” she said again.

“Now what?”

“Now you go outside. Is going outside good?”

“Yes,” Scorpius nodded. “Yes, it is.”

“Can I go outside?”

Scorpius faltered. “I – I would wait. Until I’m gone.”

“You’re going? Where are you going?”

“You can’t say anything to anyone, okay?”

“Okay.”

“When I’m old enough, or I can get out, I’m leaving. I’ll write. But I’m not coming back.”

“Where are you going?”

Scorpius didn’t answer as his bedroom door opened, expecting to see his father with some request or other, but instead he saw two men that he had never encountered before. They shut the door behind them and Scorpius stood up, his first thoughts going to protecting Anastasia.

“What do you want?” he asked. “This is my room and you’re supposed to knock.”

“Don’t get pissy, Malfoy,” one muttered. “And stop asking questions.”

Scorpius didn’t let himself betray any panic. This was probably nothing. His habit of questioning everything wasn’t widely known. He was just a bit paranoid. It was a coincidence.

“What do you want?” he asked again, calmer now that Anastasia had taken his hand.

“We’ve been asked to give you this,” the other raised a small vial to the light.

“You think I’m stupid?” Scorpius raised his eyebrows.

“No. You think you’re smart,” one sneered. “You’ve got all your questions and your insistence that you know best.”

“Scorpius,” Anastasia murmured. “Scorpius, what’s going on?”

“Quiet,” one of the men snapped.

“What questions?” Scorpius asked.

“Don’t play dumb. You don’t go unnoticed. They know. They know that you are a dissenter.”

“A dissenter?” Scorpius stared. “What the hell are you talking about? I don’t even know who runs this place.”

“And yet you’re still a dissenter. Now take the vial.”

Scorpius stepped backwards, reaching for a book to throw at them. He didn’t have any other weapons, and they would win in a duel. He wasn’t willing to use Dark curses and he didn’t know anything else. The men grinned at him, and the one not holding the vial raised his wand.

“Don’t try anything, Malfoy,” he sneered. “You wouldn’t last a minute against us.”

Scorpius opened his mouth to retort something and his head snapped backwards. The world around him started to fade in and out of darkness and he was only vaguely conscious of hands dragging him somewhere. He couldn’t keep his eyes open long enough to get his bearings.

Whatever curse they had used, they were good at it, and he wasn’t able to focus steadily until he hit the floor and someone took it off. He looked up at them.

“Who…who…”

His voice didn’t appear to be working.

They laughed, one of them seizing his collar and pulling him to his knees. He remained silent as he was punched across the face, over and over and over until it started to soak through his shirt. It left hot, sticky stains on his skin.

He could hear Anastasia screaming at them to stop, and he wished she would just run. He could deal with death as long as she didn’t get hurt. Except she sounded as if she were also in pain, and Scorpius tried to clear his vision enough to look at her. She was bleeding.

They let him go eventually and Scorpius pulled off his jacket to begin mopping himself up. He was in pain, more permanent than anything he had experienced in a long time, and the light-headedness had started to overwhelm him, but he could still move. Whatever was happening, he could keep himself awake. He had to keep himself alive.

“Drink.”

“No.”

“Come on, Scorpius. Do it yourself. Or we’ll do it for you.”

One of them forced his head back as the other crouched in front of him. The process by which they opened the vial was painstakingly slow, and they continually flashed grins at Scorpius as he fought against the iron-like grip one had on his wrists.

Once the vial was open, one of them yanked his chin down to force his mouth open. Scorpius started to squirm, ignoring the pain in his head. Whatever was in that vial would probably kill him. He couldn’t die. He couldn’t die. He couldn’t leave Albus alone. He couldn’t leave Anastasia alone. He couldn’t let either of them down.

The liquid, the potion, scorched like fire as it trickled down the inside of his throat. A searing pain filled his neck, and then his shoulders, and then his chest. And it kept spreading downwards.

They had let go of him now, and he lay, writhing and screaming in pain, in the middle of the floor. It was somehow worse than he ever remembered the Cruciatus Curse being. It spread, and then it started to focus itself on his torso, where he could have sworn was splitting open.

Except it couldn’t be fine. His skin couldn’t be splitting open when the only blood on his shirt came from his face. His skin wasn’t splitting open. He’d know. Surely, he’d know.

Scorpius screamed again as visions and memories started to invade his head. His parents when they had separated them for six weeks. His mum in the worst moments of her curse. His mum on the days she was too weak to be awake.

His mum after she had died.

Scorpius clawed at his ears and eyes, roaring in pain until his throat felt as if it would give way, and then roaring some more.

Scorpius forced himself to stand up, dragging himself up on a piece of furniture he had found beside him. The men were gone and he was in a place he had never seen before. It distorted itself before his eyes, the shadows leaping out at him and laughing as he flinched.

There was a desk in the corner, and he stumbled to it. It was covered in hundreds of papers, but his vision had long since blurred and he couldn’t read it. Or maybe there was blood getting into his eyes.

Scorpius grabbed the blankest-looking piece of parchment he could find, followed by a quill, and he scrawled a single word across it. He couldn’t even tell if it was legible, but the pain kept increasing beyond the levels Scorpius had thought possible. He barely managed to drag himself to the fireplace, taking a handful of what he assumed was Floo Powder. He chucked both that and the parchment into the fireplace, shouting Albus’ name.

It felt like shouting. It came out of a whisper.

And then, after several deep, desperate breaths, Scorpius tried to disapparate. By some pure miracle he managed it.

He passed out after that.

* * *

Albus rarely sat in the lounge in the evenings, especially after the amount of socializing he had done in the last week or so. He did tonight, however, unsure of why. He’d had some idea of saying thank you to James for pushing him towards Scorpius, but he hadn’t actually decided on doing that.

He had a book in his lap so that no one questioned him. He wasn’t reading. He didn’t like reading. He had the book opened, balanced on his knees, but his thoughts were drifting to Scorpius. No one had to know that.

When he had gotten home after the first kiss, Albus had mentioned that things were fine to James, and James hadn’t pushed. Albus said anyway. He wanted James to know. James deserved to know.

James had congratulated, without pestering or making a big deal about it to their parents. Albus was still trying to process all of it. Mainly the fact that someone loved him, or felt able to love him. That was the part that came as a pleasant shock.

Albus loved Scorpius. He knew that. He had known that. And yet, when the time had come to say it, he had frozen up. Scorpius hadn’t minded. Scorpius had understood how many broken promises littered his past, and Albus loved him all the more for that. For the love that he desperately wanted to repay. But couldn’t. Even though it had been months. Even though his life was changing for the better.

Next time they met, whenever that was, he would tell Scorpius how he felt. He didn’t know when that would be, given how hectic Christmas had been. He didn’t know when he would stop being required to spend buckets of time with his family. Because he was somehow still doing that.

Albus looked up, murmuring a hello as James walked in and settled on the other sofa. He murmured a hello back and Albus returned to actually reading. Until something flashed in the fireplace and he looked up sharply. James stood to grab the thing that had appeared. A piece of parchment.

“I think this is for you.”

Albus stood, dropping the book and crossing the room. The concern with which James spoke scared him. He took the note and his blood ran cold.

The word was written in shaky, barely-legible handwriting, on a sheet stained with little red splotches.

_Cliffs._

Albus stuffed the note into his pocket, turning on his heel to sprint out the room. James caught his arm, stopping him.

“I need to go,” he blurted. “James.”

“Where are you going?”

“The cliffs a few miles away. He needs my help.”

“Then I’m coming.”

“What?”

“Let’s go.”

Albus didn’t have time to fight James on this, so he nodded and the two of them ran down to the hall to grab shoes.

Scorpius had never written a letter to him before. He had never seen a letter arrive through the fireplace. He had never seen so much pain implied with a single word. It terrified him.

James pulled both their pairs of shoes out of the cupboard and Albus shoved his trainers on. He didn’t bother with the laces as he reached to unlock the front door. His parents entered the hallway.

“Albus?” Harry said. “Where are the two of you going?”

“Out,” Albus muttered. “Like I did every night before Christmas. I’ve just asked James to come with tonight.”

“Every night?

“Yes. Stopped recently because Christmas sadly exists as a concept. Going now. Goodbye.”

“Albus stop–”

“No,” Albus snapped. “I need to go out. I can’t explain why, not that you care anyway. You never wanted to talk to me. Why do you seem set on it the one time I need you to leave me alone?”

“We want to talk to you, Albus,” Harry said softly.

“I’m gay,” Albus glared back at them. “Can I go now, please?”

“You’re gay?”

“Yes.”

Albus didn’t wait for the conversation to continue. He pulled the door open and ran out into the evening air. He crossed the apparition boundary, still running, grabbed James’ arm and disapparated.

Albus hit the ground running, sprinting up to the top of the cliff and squinting into the darkness. He didn’t want to call Scorpius’ name, given Scorpius’ previous reluctance to admit it. But they were stood on a cliff edge in the dark and it wasn’t worth the risk.

“Scor?” Albus called. “Scor, are you here?”

“Over here!” James called.

Albus’ gaze snapped in the direction of James’ yell and he jogged over to where James crouched at the edge of the trees. Scorpius lay unconscious and sprawled at the base of one of the trees. Albus’ blood ran cold.

It was difficult to discern the separate bruises on Scorpius’ face, almost of his skin purple between the scabbed wounds. The blood had dried on his face and neck, and Albus struggled to find a patch of skin untouched by either bruise or blood.

He swept Scorpius’ hair out of his eyes, trying to work out what he could possibly do. He looked at James. James was the Auror. James was the one who would know what to do.

Something truly horrific had happened to the man he loved, to the point where it looked as if he was going to die, and he didn’t know how to stop that happening. He didn’t know the first thing about Healing. He didn’t know how to save Scorpius.

"Albus, he’s – is he–”

“I don’t know,” Albus muttered. “James – I don’t know how to save him.”

“I was going to say something else, but it’s not important. Here.” James reached over to help him sit Scorpius up. “Lily’s good at Healing”

“No one can know about him.”

“Lily has to. I’m shit at this stuff.”

“If it’s just skin wounds–”

“It’s not.”

Albus looked down and the bile rose in his throat at the sight of the swollen skin beneath Scorpius’ shirt. He didn’t know what it was. He didn’t want to look, but it was definitely worse than a skin wound. Which meant that he had to get someone else involved.

“How do we get him back to my room?”

“I’ll get him inside. You distract mum and dad.”

“How?”

“By existing. Now come on.”

Albus helped James lift Scorpius up and the three of them disapparated again. When they appeared outside the house, there came a cry of pain and Scorpius sagged between them.

“Shhh,” Albus crouched beside him. “Scor. It’s me. Okay. I got your note. Shhh.”

“Albus,” Scorpius’ voice was full of pain. “It hurts. It hurts. Please…please make it stop…please…”

“I’m here,” Albus took his hand. “We’re going to get you inside and then we’ll sort this out. Okay?”

Scorpius nodded and Albus helped him back to his feet. He balked at the sight of James, starting to attempt to stumble away.

“This is my brother,” Albus explained. “He’s helping, okay? He wants to help you.”

Scorpius nodded again and the three of them walked towards the house. As they drew close, Albus murmured that he had to go and distract his parents, and he went ahead.

A deep breath later, Albus pushed the door open and trudged through to the kitchen. He had to follow through on this, confront it, because it would keep Scorpius safe. It was for that reason and that reason only. He pushed the kitchen door open, looking between his parents.

“Hi.”

Harry opened his mouth to speak, but his mum put a hand on his and beckoned Albus over. Albus sat down and stared at his hands. He didn’t know where to start. Probably a good thing, given that he had to make this last a while.

“So,” his mum said, “you’re gay?”

“Yeah,” Albus nodded.

“How long have you known?”

“Few years. Since I was fifteen or so.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” his mum looked hurt.

“Didn’t think it mattered. Nothing else seemed to, so why would this?”

“We care about you.”

“Right.”

“Albus,” Harry said sharply.

“What?” Albus snapped. “Every time we talk, we fight. Don’t you think that’s a fairly decent deterrent for not talking to you?”

“I wanted to talk to you–”

“I wouldn’t have guessed.” Pause. “You know what? Fuck this. Mum, I’ll talk to you.”

“I’m staying.”

“Fine. But you don’t get my attention.”

Albus looked back at his mum and she smiled at him sadly. He smiled back with an attempt at making himself look happy.

“I’m sorry I didn’t say anything,” he said quietly. “I should have. I just didn’t really think anyone would want to know.”

“You weren’t worried whether or not we would accept you?”

“I didn’t think it would have any bearing on my life. And it doesn’t really. If someone doesn’t like it, there’s not a lot we can really do, and I don’t care.”

“I hope you know that I’m not angry,” his mum said.

“I know,” Albus nodded. “Thank you.”

“You look as if you want to be somewhere else.”

“I’m tired,” he lied.

“Go,” his mum smiled. “If you want to talk, I’m here.”

“Thanks, mum.”

And with that, Albus left the room and took the stairs two at a time. He shut his bedroom door behind him, coming to crouch beside Scorpius, who James had leant against the foot of the bed while he stripped the sheets and dumped them at the side of the room.

“Lily,” Albus murmured. “Get Lily.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So things really ramp up in this chapter.
> 
> Welcome to Evie forgets to format and edit this on a working computer and ends up with 'fuck it I'll do this in the morning' because separating speech when you don't have down or up arrows is a nightmare.
> 
> I wrote a play. It means I am behind on everything else in writing (and I didn't check my timetable and forgot to read so that is tomorrow morning sorted.)
> 
> Thanks for reading  
> Kudos and comments much appreciated  
> Twitter: @evie_adams273
> 
> Black Lives Matter.  
> Fuck TERFs


	4. Difficult Decisions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: Injury detail and blood
> 
> Content warning: Vomit

While James went to find Lily, Albus went to the record player, placed the disc inside and switched it on. They couldn’t get caught. He couldn’t let anyone hear them. If they got caught, he would never see Scorpius again.

Albus shut the thought out. He didn’t have time for it when he had to keep a clear head. He had to help save Scorpius.

He went back to the bed, taking his boyfriend’s hand. Scorpius groaned in pain and started to murmur something. Albus drew a little closer, pulling a tissue from his beside table and beginning to wipe the dried blood from Scorpius’ face. He knew it didn’t do much, especially when Scorpius let his head roll backwards and the swelling on his chest pressed through his shirt.

Albus started to unbutton it, the bile rising in his throat as it revealed a large mass of writhing blood and darkness that had been trapped underneath Scorpius’ skin. Albus didn’t even know what it was, let alone where they could start.

They couldn’t take Scorpius to St. Mungo’s. That only became an option when there was no other way to save him. Because saving him came first, above all else. But they couldn’t betray his trust, possibly get him arrested, if it wasn’t necessary. All Albus knew was that he would fight to the ends of the earth, and further, to protect Scorpius from the repercussions the world would force upon them.

Lily arrived a couple of minutes later and Albus didn’t have time to ask James where he went afterwards. His questions were answered a moment later when the shower started to thunder down next door. Another distraction for the parents. Lily sat down on the bed, examining the wound, and Scorpius opened his eyes.

He started to attempt moving, complete with another groan of pain. Albus held onto his hand tightly.

“This is Lily,” he said softly. “My sister. Okay? She’s going to try and heal you.”

“People…”

“People won’t know,” Albus promised. “She won’t tell a soul. And James and I can’t fix this.”

“Is James back?” Lily didn’t look up.

“I’m here.”

“There’s a book on my shelf. Next to my schoolbooks. It’s green, quite thick, and title has some reference to curses and cures.”

“I’ll get it.”

Lily pulled out her wand, holding it in her teeth as she grabbed the tissue from Albus and started to clean away more of the blood. When she did, it became even clearer how desperate the circumstances were. The wound somehow looked worse when not surrounded by browning blood.

James returned a couple of minutes later, holding two or three large, green books. Lily grabbed the middle one, instructing him to turn to a page about a mixture. She described the symptoms, and Albus hovered at James’ shoulder in a pathetic attempt at being helpful.

When James found the right page, he laid the book on the bed and Lily glanced over at it. Albus looked over at the bin, half-wondering if it was a viable vomit-container if he needed it. This would be painful for Scorpius and he did not know if he would be able to listen.

“I need to use a Silencing Charm,” Lily looked at her brother, “or we’re going to get caught.”

“Is that okay?” Albus looked at Scorpius. “Is a Silencing Charm okay?”

Scorpius made a minute motion with his head that Albus could hope was consent, because Lily waved her wand. She examined the wound again, before warning Scorpius that she was going to do something. Scorpius’ eyes drifted closed and Albus’ started to panic again until he saw Scorpius’ chest rise and fall in the smallest of movements.

Lily bit her lip and started to mutter something under her breath. Scorpius started to shake, until it grew wildly uncontrollable and his grip on Albus’ hand grew unimaginably tight as he writhed in pain. Albus forced himself to breathe, for both of them.

When Lily stopped, Scorpius fell back against the bedframe, but he already seemed a little more conscious.

“I’m sorry,” Lily said. “It’s an awful potion. Once more, maybe twice. It should be – your body should be able to cope with it after that. I don’t know how to eradicate it, I’m sorry.”

“Lily,” Albus mumbled.

Lily placed her wand against Scorpius chest. “I’m going to do it again, okay?”

Scorpius nodded and started to shake again. Lily worked her way around the now visibly-smaller lump on his chest. She kept muttering to herself but Albus couldn’t hear her over the music and the empty shower.

Albus hated watching Scorpius in this much pain. He hated the lack of control they had over this situation, and the lack of comfort he could offer Scorpius. But he didn’t turn away. Scorpius needed him and he would not abandon him, in any capacity.

Eventually, Lily stopped and Scorpius fell back again, his eyes drifting. His breathing steadied and Albus let his shoulders relax.

“He should be okay,” Lily said quietly. “That curse – that hasn’t been used since the War. I mean thank fuck it’s one of the detailed case studies they asked for as part of the St. Mungo’s applications.” Pause. “He’s not going to have an easy recovery. He’ll need a lot of rest.”

“Thank you,” Albus threw his arms around his sister. “Thank you so much.”

“It’s probably best that he goes into Hospital in the morning–”

“No,” Albus said. “No one can know about him.”

“Albus, his health…”

“I understand. And I will do anything to stop him from dying, but if we can avoid St. Mungo’s, we’re going to.”

“Is that what he wants?”

“He doesn’t want anyone to know he’s here.”

“Fine. But if he gets worse…”

“I will take him in,” Albus nodded. “I promise, his life comes first.”

“I should get some sleep. I’ll turn off the shower.”

“Goodnight. Thank you.”

Lily started to walk to the door before she stopped and turned to look at Albus with a half-sad expression crossing her face.

“What have you gotten yourself into?” she murmured.

“A war that finished twenty-eight years ago.”

James came and sat on the floor beside the bed and Albus, having taken one more look at Scorpius, slid down onto the carpet beside him.

“Thank you for coming tonight,” he said quietly. “I don’t think I would have made it back if you hadn’t come.”

“You’re my brother,” James smiled. “Of course I’m going to help you.”

“I love him,” Albus felt a lump in his throat. “I love him and I never told him. I should. I want to.”

“And you will.”

“What if something goes wrong?”

“We’ll save him,” James said. “Whatever happens, we can and will save him. It’s a bad curse, but if it’s a St. Mungo’s intro study then it has a cure. A proper one.”

“Dad will arrest him if he finds out.”

“Because he’s a Malfoy.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You didn’t have to. Come on, Albus. His hair is – that colour. And his name is _Scorpius_.”

Albus chuckled. He could remember at least three occasions where he and Scorpius had had a laugh at the stupidity of both their names. They were ridiculous.

“So,” James murmured. “Malfoy had a kid.”

“Malfoy had two kids. And Scorpius is the kindest person I’ve ever met.”

“Al, this is not a comment on him, but you haven’t met that many people.”

Albus laughed again, shaking his head as James gave him a shoulder pat. He lay back and stared up at the ceiling. It wasn’t particularly late, but it felt like he would sleep for days. He wanted to.

“I should probably go to bed,” he said. “I want to be awake when Scorpius wakes up.”

“How long will you sleep for?”

“Couple of hours, maybe,” Albus shrugged. “I’ll wake up before him, and I need to send a note to the Sanctuary saying I can’t come in tomorrow.”

“You can’t stay off for too long.”

“I can take a couple of days,” Albus said, “and after that, we can work out how to set up a communication spell so I know if something happens.”

“Okay,” James stood. “Well, get some sleep.”

Albus nodded, watching as James shut the door on his way out. He took Scorpius’ hand in an attempt not to burst into tears. Trying and failing. Scorpius had survived, but Merlin help whoever had done this when Albus worked out who they were.

Maybe this was fate laughing at them. After all, in what universe was this anyone’s first relationship? What were the chances that a Potter and a Malfoy ended up in this mess? Maybe fate was just spinning the tale and it was a funny little plot convenience.

Albus stood up, pulling a couple of blankets out of his wardrobe and laying them out on the floor. He looked at Scorpius once more, and then lay down to close his eyes.

* * *

Albus did not sleep. He couldn’t even find some exhaustion and, at three in the morning, he heard Scorpius starting to stir. He stood up, perching on the edge of the bed as Scorpius’ eyes started to open. Albus smiled.

Scorpius met his gaze with a frown and Albus came a little closer. Scorpius reached out to take his hand and Albus cupped his cheek.

“Hey,” he murmured. “How are you feeling?”

“Tired,” Scorpius’ voice sounded raw. “Really – tired.”

“Does anything hurt?”

“Nose…and face…”

Albus leaned over to grab his wand, waiting for Scorpius’ silent consent to his request. Moments later, the wounds were healed and Scorpius seemed to relax a little after that.

“Does anyone know?” he glanced at the door.

“Lily and James. They won’t tell anyone. And Lily did her best but – but if something goes wrong – we have to take you to St. Mungo’s.”

“No,” Scorpius’ eyes started to fill with tears. “Please – please don’t.”

“I’m going to do everything I can to stop that from happening,” Albus promised, “but if it’s between your life and keeping you a secret…”

“I understand.”

“You do?”

“I would do it. To save you.”

“Thank you,” Albus smiled softly. “I – I know I haven’t said – but I need – I need to.”

“Albus?”

“I love you?”

Scorpius looked at him, and then he smiled as his eyes drifted a little. He blinked a few times and Albus smiled back.

“You should get some more sleep,” he said. “Lily says you need lots of rest.”

“Are you going to work?”

“Not yet; it’s three in the morning.”

“And I’ll take a couple of days off to look after you. After that, I will need to go in, but I’ll set up a communication spell.”

“I don’t have my wand.”

Albus faltered slightly. “We can sort that when you’re a bit better,” he said. “You don’t need a wand for the spell. I can cast it.”

“Are you sure?”

“You’ll be fine,” Albus promised. “Whatever happens, you’ll be fine.”

Scorpius nodded and Albus smiled again as he shuffled closer.

“You should get some more sleep.”

“Are you going to?”

“I’ll try.”

“Okay…”

Scorpius closed his eyes again and, once Albus was sure his boyfriend was asleep, he went to his desk and wrote out a note as neatly as he could manage. Two days off. He wasn’t feeling brilliant. It would be better if he stayed off. He would be back soon and more than willing to catch up on what he had missed. As long as he kept it polite, the two days wouldn’t be held against him.

Once he had finished and borrowed the family owl to send it, he sat down on the floor again and leant up against the wall with his hand in Scorpius’. He managed to fall asleep like that and, when he woke up, the sun was streaming through the windows. He stood up and closed the curtains.

Not because he didn’t want to see the sun, but because Scorpius needed to sleep and Scorpius was the priority here and in every ensuing situation. He was still asleep and nothing looked as if it was glaringly wrong, so Albus stepped outside after glancing at the clock on his table. It had gone past nine. His parents would probably be out. Good. Very good.

He jogged down to the kitchen, putting a couple of slices of bread in the toaster. He pulled out a plate and the butter while he waited for it to finish. Once it was, he started to butter those food and put on a second load. He looked up as James came in.

“I thought you had work?” Albus frowned.

“It’s my day off. Are you honestly going to eat four slices of toast?”

“You’d be surprised,” Albus smiled back. “Now that I’m feeling a bit better.”

“Ah right,” James nodded. “I’m glad.”

Albus smiled at his brother again before he picked up the plate and went back upstairs. Scorpius was sat up in bed when he opened the door, apparently relaxed, though Albus could see the fear in his eyes.

“Hey,” he said softly. “Are you okay?”

“You were gone,” Scorpius swallowed.

“Yeah, I’m sorry. I’ve got breakfast if you want to eat?”

“Are you going to?”

“I was going to try.”

“I will too.”

* * *

Days started to pass and Albus managed to evolve into yet another new routine. He would wake before anyone else, make breakfast for both him and Scorpius, and they would eat in his room. When Albus had to leave for work, he would leave as late as possible, locking his bedroom door behind him. Scorpius knew about this and understood the reasoning, even if he was somewhat uncomfortable with it.

A silencing charm had taken permanent residence on all four walls and the window never opened. The focus remained on keeping Scorpius a secret. It was about making sure no one would hear them when they talked, or when Scorpius woke in the middle of the night.

Albus started to save every penny he could spare, putting it all towards moving out. It was something that needed to happen anyway, and now that Scorpius was involved, Albus actually got his ass in gear and started to try.

The nights turned to long conversations about what they might do once Scorpius recovered and they could leave. After all, they couldn’t hide him from existence while having a manageable life. Phantoms were investigated.

“I can’t just admit who I am,” Scorpius muttered on their fourth night of this topic. “I can’t just – be this.”

“I can try and get you a job at the sanctuary,” Albus suggested. “They like me. I can ask them not to, and they won’t ask too many questions. We can change your name. Maybe dye your hair. Et cetera.”

“How long could we keep that up?”

“Long enough?” Albus said. “We’ll be okay, though. And – and if the worst comes to the worst – I can talk to my aunt.”

“No.”

“It’s a last resort. She’s more reasonable than my dad. If you tell her that you need to go on a register as existing, she might not even need to take your full name. Or she’ll help us make something that will keep you safe.”

“That’s a last resort.”

“Completely.”

“Okay.”

“It’s going to be all right,” Albus murmured. “You know that?”

Scorpius nodded and Albus cupped his cheek in his hand. Scorpius smiled a little as Albus leaned forward.

“I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you – too,” Scorpius started to trail off, before he pulled himself to his feet and stumbled across the room.

His face contorted in pain and he pulled himself across the room before collapsing to his knees and vomiting into the bin by the door. Albus rushed to his side, pulling any hair out of his face and rubbing his back as he continued to retch. Albus summoned a t-shirt and the glass of water Scorpius had been drinking, before wetting the shirt and pressing it against Scorpius’ neck.

Scorpius flinched before falling back into Albus and started to cry. He was shivering, despite the sweat building on his forehead and Albus wrapped his arms around him. Lily. He needed to talk to Lily. Except she had gone back to Hogwarts and there was no way he could fire-call her.

“I’m okay,” Scorpius croaked. “Not – not sick. It just hurts – so, so much…in waves.”

“I can find you Pain Potions?” Albus suggested. “It might take a bit longer to get home, but I can get them tomorrow. After work.”

Scorpius nodded. Albus helped him sit up, vanishing the sick from the bin. Scorpius curled up, tensing his body as pain washed over him again. Albus waited for him to relax again before he picked him up and carried him to the bed.

Scorpius smiled at Albus as he pulled the duvet over himself and passed out against the pillow. Albus dropped the bin beside him and set up his now-normal sleeping spot. He didn’t go to sleep immediately, making sure Scorpius was actually okay and asleep.

At most, this was probably a combination of pain and a stomach bug. Albus had been feeling rough for a few days, and Scorpius’ immune system was not at a high point.

Albus scooted slightly closer to take Scorpius’ hand and start to drift off himself. His head snapped up as a knock came at the door and James came in.

“Hey,” he smiled.

“Hi,” Albus breathed out, panic subsiding.

“He’s asleep early.”

“I think he’s got a stomach bug,” Albus explained. “I mean his immune system is currently fucked, but I don’t know what to do. I have to go to work tomorrow, or I won’t stay on their good side. But I need to do that if I want to get him a job without too many questions.”

“Get him a job?”

“We’re moving. As soon as I’ve saved enough, we’re moving out.”

“And you’re still not going to tell anyone about him?”

“Can I do that without risking pretty much everything?”

“I don’t know.” Pause. “You’ll think it through. I know you.”

“I think I should take tomorrow off.”

“I’ve got the day off anyway,” James said. “I can keep an eye on him.”

Albus breathed out slowly and nodded. He hadn’t realised how tense his shoulders had been.

“Thank you,” he murmured. “Thank you so much.”

“Don’t mention it.”

“No, seriously. Thank you. You’ve been – you’ve been better than I deserve – recently.”

“It’s not about ‘being deserving’, Albus. You’re my brother and I’m helping because I care about you and I don’t want you or anyone you care about to get hurt.”

“Still think I’m a shit brother,” Albus smiled bitterly.

“No. You’re not a bad person. You’re not a bad family member. You’re an introvert, and no-one has attempted to make it easier for you to be part of a crazy family of extroverts. It’s not solely down to you.”

“Still…”

“Don’t put yourself down. It’s bad for you.”

Albus smiled as James wrapped an arm around him.

“It’s going to be okay,” he murmured. “Whatever happens, it’ll be okay.”

“I know,” Albus nodded. “I know. I’m just scared. A bit.”

“Being human.”

“I guess.”

“You look exhausted.”

“Can’t sleep. Scor might wake up.”

“I can stay.”

“Mum and dad–”

“Won’t notice. Get some sleep, Al. You look like you need it.”

Albus nodded and collapsed back onto the makeshift bed that he had become surprisingly used to. Within minutes, he was asleep, somewhat proving his exhaustion, given that he hadn’t slept well since before summer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ  
> Hi. A small request because I have this small platform so I'm going to use it. Please do not see Sia's new film, Music. It is incredibly harmful to the Autistic community, even to the point where Autism Speaks (a hate group searching for a 'cure' for autism, that has no autistic people involved in the group) have condemned the film. Leaked footage shows use of techniques to cope with Autistic meltdowns that have led to many people dying in reality.  
> Do not see this film. Don't see it out of curiousity. Don't see it because you're interested. If you're that desperate, watch it illegally. But please, please, _please_ do not contribute money to this film.  
> For more information on why this film is harmful and dangerous, please watch Princess Aspein on Youtube, or visit @the.autisticats on Twitter and Instagram.
> 
> I really need to start setting reminders to prep these. God almighty.  
> So I'm starting to realise I should probably carry on with the angst prompts. However, I've got a massive muse on my WIP so we power through (I'm about 3/4 through a chapter that i started two days ago - it took me three weeks to finish one once (I would probably have finished it last night but instead I had meltdown two of the day))
> 
> Thanks for reading  
> Kudos and Comments much appreciated  
> Twitter: @evie_adams273
> 
> Black Lives Matter  
> Fuck TERFs.


	5. The Best And Worst Of It All

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Threat of death
> 
> Content Warning: Hospitals, illness, pain

Scorpius wasn’t sick again and, a few days later, he seemed completely fine. He almost seemed stronger than he had been beforehand. Albus was immensely glad to see that their plans were starting to come together, because it would mean that soon, they could leave and live a vaguely normal life.

Albus was really looking forward to it. Most of the conversations with his boyfriend had some sort of soundtrack to mask the sound of them talking. He was looking forward to not having to do that. And maybe he could introduce his family to Scorpius in a few weeks. His boyfriend who did not yet have a name. They could work on that.

They had all the time that they would need. At least, that was what he told Scorpius. It wasn’t a lie, but Albus didn’t know the whole truth, and he didn’t want to saddle Scorpius with more while he was still recovering. He was still scared, and that seemed to get worse with each second that he healed.

The more he healed, the more he had time to focus on the family he had left behind.  


“Albus,” Scorpius looked up one evening.

Albus glanced over from the report he was completing, smiling, and then standing up as he realised Scorpius seemed to be on the verge of tears.  


“What’s wrong, love?” Albus sat beside him.  


“I’m scared,” Scorpius whispered. “I’m really scared about what happened to Ana.”  


“Your sister?”  


“She was there when it – happened. I was talking to her. She – I could hear her screaming at them. I don’t know what happened to her.”  


“She’ll be okay,” Albus said quietly.  


“How do you know that?” Scorpius looked at him. “How can either of us say that anything will be okay?”  


“Does your dad love you?”  


“I don’t know. I don’t know whether he loves me anymore. But he loves her.”  


“Then he’ll protect her,” Albus decided not to push on the other thing Scorpius had said. “She’ll be okay.”

Scorpius nodded, putting an arm around Albus. Albus took his hand.  


“If she’s anywhere near as strong as you,” he murmured, “she’ll have fought back.”  


“I did fight back and it nearly got me killed.”  


“But it didn’t. And it won’t get her killed either.”  


“Yeah…maybe.”  


“How are you feeling – physically?”  


“Exhausted. Stomachache. But that’s not new. It’ll stop soon. I’ll sleep. Normally helps.”  


“I’ll get some more food on my way home tomorrow. Something proper. Not leftovers.”  


“Are you sure? I thought you were saving for moving out.”  


“I can spare something to get you some decent food.”  


“Thank you.”  


“Don’t mention it. I need to finish my report, so I’ll be over there.”  


“I should sleep.”

* * *

The next morning, Scorpius wasn’t really conscious of Albus getting up and ready to leave, but he opened his eyes when Albus murmured that he was leaving and came to kiss him goodbye.  


“I’ve left some food on my desk,” he whispered.  


“Thank you,” Scorpius mumbled. “Albus, do you mind – not – locking the door today. Please?”  


“Okay,” Albus nodded. “If you’re okay with that.”

Scorpius nodded back, smiling before he closed his eyes and tried to drift back to sleep. His chest had started to hurt somewhat, but he didn’t say anything. He didn’t want or need to worry Albus when he was trying so hard for him anyway.

When he started to wake up properly, he lay in bed for a long time, trying to make himself breathe. Breathing would assist with balancing out the pain in his chest now that it was getting worse again. Whatever they had done to him, it seemed to be spreading back across his body. He couldn’t roll onto his front, in the way that he normally liked to sleep, because the fire spreading across his torso would cause his to scream.

He couldn’t get caught. If he died in this bed, it wouldn’t matter. He couldn’t get caught.

He closed his eyes, taking a slow breath in. And then out. And then in again. If he kept breathing, then eventually Albus would come home and distract him from the pain. If he kept breathing.

But that was getting harder. Every breath took a knife to his chest, and he wouldn’t be able to keep it up much longer. Still, he could try.

Someone kept passing by the door. Scorpius held his breath and prayed that they were simply walking past. That was what normally happened and the paranoia was only natural given that this was his first day with the door unlocked. He was glad to not have the feeling of being trapped, but he was now terrified.

He pulled his duvet over his head, trying not to whimper in pain as he did so. The door opened.  


“Albus?” a woman’s voice rang out through the room. Scorpius held very still. “Albus, are you in here?”

Footsteps echoed across the room and a hand landed on Scorpius’ shoulder. He flinched.  


“Albus, are you okay?”

The cover came back and Scorpius squeezed his eyes shut as the air rushed over him and there was a gasp.  


“Who are you?” the voice sounded more aggressive, not angry but scared.  


“I…” Scorpius kept his eyes shut. “I…I’m sorry…”  


“Who are you? Sit up?”

Scorpius did, trying not to cry out in pain. He leant against the bed frame and looked at the person who had found him. She had red, shoulder-length hair, and she was wearing a green, ink-stained jumper.  


“Does Albus know you’re in here?” she asked, a little softer.

Scorpius didn’t respond, attempting to think of a cover story of sorts. She would ask Albus once he got home. They needed to have the same cover. Somehow it hadn’t occurred to them to do this earlier on. But Albus was better at stories than him so it would safer if he stayed silent for the moment.  


“I’m going to assume Albus knows you’re here, because I watched him eat breakfast but he’s left fresh food over there. Did he leave that?”

Scorpius nodded.

“Would you come downstairs, please?”  


“I – I can’t…”

That was the truth. Scorpius didn’t know whether he would be able to support his weight without collapsing. The pain in his chest had started to swell and he was exhausted. If he stood up, he would pass out. Probably.  


“Why not?”  


“I just – I can’t…sorry.”  


“Okay, well, I’ll stay here.”

Scorpius didn’t respond.

“How long have you been here?”  


“I don’t know.”  


“Why are you here?”

Scorpius didn’t have time to think of something to say something before the pain in his chest fully exploded and he screamed, doubling over as he rolled and landed on the floor. He curled in on himself as he forced his eyes to stay open.

He needed to keep breathing. Breathing would give him control. Control would keep him alive.

A hand landed on his shoulder and Scorpius screamed again, thrashing about in attempt to fight the woman off. She kept coming, speaking more and more loudly, until Scorpius could actually make out her words.  


“…taking you to Hospital.”  


“No!” Scorpius shrieked. “No! You can’t!”  


“Why not?”  


“You can’t take me there!”  


“You have to go somewhere that can help you,” the woman said firmly, helping him to his feet and supporting him when his knees gave way. “Whatever is going on here, you have to come with me or you might die.”  


“I don’t care,” Scorpius sobbed. “Please…please don’t…”

* * *

Albus opened the front door, making for the stairs with the bag of food he’d bought for Scorpius. He stopped as he saw his mum stood in the hallway, watching him as if she had been waiting.  


“Hi,” he smiled. “Would you mind if I just went and put this upstairs.”  


“You need to come to St. Mungo’s.”  


“What?” Albus stared. “What happened? Did someone get hurt? Are they okay?”  


“Just come with me. Bring the bag.”  


“Why?”  


“Come on.”

Albus didn’t object as she took his arm, leading him outside of the apparition boundaries and disapparated.

They appeared in the centre of the Hospital foyer and his mum led them down several corridors. Albus started to panic when the Healers heading in their direction kept referring to a ‘he’, the thoughts of James having been hurt in some sort of raid racing through his mind. In what scenario had James been hurt so badly that he’d ended up in St. Mungo’s.

James didn’t do surprise raids. He was a junior Auror, not supposed to go on emergencies. He had at least a week’s notice on any raid he attended. James was twenty-two. He shouldn’t have been caught up in something that put him in Hospital like this.

Except James wasn’t the one in the bed when they reached the ward. Scorpius was, asleep while people whirled around him. His chest was bare and the bile rose in Albus’ throat as he noted the return of the curse’s lumps and tendrils.  


“Shit,” he looked at his mum. “Shit. Shit. Look. I can – I can try and explain…”  


“I’m glad because I found him in your bed.”  


“I know, just – hang on, does dad know?”  


“Not yet. I was going to tell him when he got home.”  


“Could you not?” Albus asked. “Not yet anyway.”  


“Why not?”  


“No one can know about him. Please.”  


“What’s going on?”  


“I can explain.”  


“You can’t…Albus, you need to tell me what’s going on. Whatever this is, it looks huge and you can’t just ask me to keep something like this from your father.”  


“When he wakes up. I’ll tell you when he wakes up. Until then, please.”  


“Fine.”

Half a second later, Albus sat at the bedside, taking Scorpius’ hand as a tear rolled down his cheek. He had been so stupid to miss the signs of this. The oh-so-obvious signs that something had been wholly wrong. The signs that he hadn’t followed. So now they were here.  


“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

There was no reply and Albus buried his face in his jacket, letting out a raw sob. Scorpius couldn’t die. Surely Scorpius couldn’t die. They would save him. Lily had been able to save him before, so the Healers could save him.

Unless the curse couldn’t be stopped a second time. Unless they had missed their chance and they didn’t have a way back this time.

No. No. That wouldn’t happen. NO!

A hand landed on Albus’ shoulder and he looked up to see his mum behind him, reaching to wipe his tears away. He leaned into her hug and tried to quieten his tears. Scorpius needed to sleep and the Healers didn’t need an additional distraction.  


“Miss,” one of the Healers stood beside them. “We need a name for Hospital records.”  


“He wouldn’t tell me his name,” Albus’ mum looked at him.  


“Samuel,” Albus said. “Do you need a surname?”  


“Yes, but if there is an issue there, I’m happy to ask later.”  


“Thank you.”

As the Healer walked away, Albus looked at Scorpius again, and then at his mum. She didn’t say anything. He took a breath.  


“I should explain.”  


“You should.”  


“Not here, though. In private. And you can’t tell dad.”  


“Will you?”  


“Probably, depending on what we work out when he wakes up.”

His mum nodded and she led him out of the room. They went down the corridor, to find somewhere quiet to sit, whereupon they sat down, and Albus stared forwards. He hadn’t ever planned to say this out loud.  


“After the war,” he muttered, “do you know what happened to the Malfoy family?”  


“They went into hiding. Draco and Lucius were among the group who disappeared in the aftermath of the battle and haven’t been since.”  


“And after that?”  


“We don’t know.”  


“I do. Or I know some of it.”  


“He’s a Death Eater?”  


“No!” Albus exclaimed. “Merlin, no. He’s not. He’s a good person who’s in the wrong place. If dad knew, dad wouldn’t listen.”  


“Who is he?”  


“His name is Scorpius,” Albus spoke very quietly. “His father is Draco Malfoy. He hasn’t said much about his mum but I think she’s dead. He’s got a little sister. And I love him.”  


“You love him?”  


“More than anyone in the world. Which is why you can’t tell dad. Dad would arrest him.”  


“Don’t you think he’d listen to you?”  


“When has he listened to me?” Albus looked at his mum. “Tell me, honestly, when he last listened to me. Anyway, it doesn’t matter. I’ve been saving and we have enough to move out.”  


“Where are you going?”  


“Don’t know yet. A flat near the Sanctuary.”

Silence fell again and Albus sighed. He couldn’t just shut down and pretend there weren’t things he had to confront. His dad would find out what was going on, sooner or later, so it would be better if he took proper control first.

Albus stood up and his mum stood beside him, taking his hand. He smiled at her, unsure of how to convey the sadness and gratitude and every other emotion he had spinning through hishead. He walked away, heading back towards the ward Scorpius was on. Somewhere in the midst of his thoughts, he knew two things.

He knew his dad needed to know what had happened, and Scorpius needed to consent to that happening. He couldn’t go behind Scorpius’ back. Above all, he couldn’t harm Scorpius.

When he arrived back on the ward, Scorpius had started to stir and Albus hurried over, part of his head cursing himself for leaving Scorpius alone when he could predict how Scorpius would react upon waking alone. Thankfully, he had not yet opened his eyes and Albus was able to take his hand without startling him.

His eyes opened and he squinted at the brightness. Albus held his breath, still hung on what might happen next.   


“Albus…”  


“How are you feeling?”  


“Where are we?”  


“The Hospital,” Albus said. And then he added, “I’m sorry.”  


“It’s not your fault.”  


“What?”  


“I knew something would happen,” Scorpius tried to sit up and Albus helped him leaned back against the pillows. “It kept hurting. I didn’t say anything. It’s my fault.”  


“You were scared,” Albus nodded. “How are you feeling?”  


“Tired. And it hurts a bit. Less than before.”

He cut himself off from saying something else and Albus looked up to see his mum had returned. He bit his lip, but he didn’t let go of Scorpius’ hand. He couldn’t be scared because they couldn’t afford to be scared.  


“Listen, love,” he said quietly, “I need to ask something.”  


“Okay,” Scorpius nodded.

Albus breathed in. This was probably the worst thing that he could have tried to ask at this moment. But he had to take some control of the situation. If he didn’t, people would find out anyway. It would get worse if he waited.  


“Am I allowed to tell my dad about you?”

Scorpius didn’t say anything.

“I wouldn’t do it here. I’d do it home. I’d explain everything and only he would know. He’s going to find out anyway so…”  


“Is there another option?”  


“I bring him here and you explain? If you did want to control what he knows, but not talk to him, which I would completely understand, you can tell me, and I’ll only say as much as you’ve approved.”  


“But he needs to know about me.”  


“Yes. I’m sorry. St. Mungo’s have to keep records, and we can keep it all on the down-low. But we have to get you officially recognised and it’ll make moving out easier.”

Scorpius nodded, biting his lip. Albus put his hands on Scorpius’ cheeks, wiping away the tears spilling down his cheeks.  


“It’ll be okay,” he promised. “I’ll sort it out.”

It was an empty promise that Albus fully intended to keep. He had to keep it for Scorpius, and he would keep it, regardless of the consequences for him. As long as Scorpius came out unscathed, and as long as the consequences landed solely on Albus, he’d take them.  


“You tell him,” Scorpius croaked. “I can’t…”  


“I understand,” Albus nodded. “It’s going to be okay. I won’t let anything happen.”

Scorpius nodded back and Albus offered him a smile.

“Will you stay?” Scorpius whispered. “Please…”  


“Of course I’ll stay,” Albus said, settling back on the chair beside the bed. “Get some sleep, and if I’m not here when you wake up, someone will be and I’ll be back soon.”

Scorpius nodded again, lying back,and staring at the ceiling. A couple of seconds later, his eyes drifted closed and his breathing steadied. Albus let go of his hand.

This would be an interesting conversation. A conversation with someone he had a difficult past with (to say the last), without getting anyone arrested. If he made it out with a relationship with either of them, it would be a small miracle.

When Albus got home, having Flooed, he found James in the kitchen and a wave of calm washed over him. James appeared suitably confused at the lack of people in the house. Albus explained.   


“Shit. Shit. They know about him?”  


“Mum does,” Albus nodded. “I’m going to tell dad when he gets home.” Pause. “Would you be able to go to St. Mungo’s? I told Scor someone would be there when he woke up.”  


“Yeah, of course,” James stood up. “I’ll make sure he’s okay.”  


“Thank you so much.”  


“What are you going to tell dad?”  


“Who he is and how he has done nothing wrong.”  


“Good luck. Let me know if you need me.”  


“I’ll try. Thank you.”

James pulled him into a hug and he took it gratefully. He needed it. He needed more time with his brother. He wished that he had realised that fact sooner, because since Scorpius had arrived, he had actually appreciated his family more. It felt nice. It felt nice to know that people loved him.

When James let go, Albus smiled once more and watched him disappear into the fireplace. Scorpius would be okay. He knew James. Meanwhile, Albus had to work out how to do this conversation without losing his temper.

He sat down, summoning a glass of water as he ran through his different options. He couldn’t say too much too quickly. He had to keep everything calm and avoid being provoked or provoking someone else. He had to keep control, and keep calm.

Personal emotions needed to remain off the table. Fighting needed to remain off the table. Previous hatred needed to remain off the table.

But he could manage that. He could manage that for Scorpius.

Harry got home about half an hour later, calling a hello through the house as he pushed the door open. Albus didn’t reply; he switched on the kettle and grabbed two teabags from the cupboard. Civility. Or something.  


“Where is everyone?” Harry appeared in the doorway. “Oh. Albus.”  


“Do you want tea?”  


“Has something happened?”  


“Yes, and I’d like you to listen with some clear judgement and no knee-jerk impulse to arrest my boyfriend. So, tea?”  


“You have a boyfriend?”

Albus nodded, setting down the mugs on the table and gesturing for his dad to sit down. Harry did so. Albus sat opposite.   


“I met him around the end of summer,” Albus said. “We started dating about two weeks later.”  


“First of all, why would I want to arrest him?”  


“His name is Scorpius Malfoy. Eldest child of Draco Malfoy.”

Harry sat back in his chair, doing a surprisingly good job of hiding his shock. Albus waited for him to react so that he had some sort of cue of what to say next.  


“Why are you telling me this now?”

Ah good. Easy question. Albus could work with this. It opened up a huge can of worms, but he could section off the worms and sort accordingly.  


“He’s in Hospital,” Albus explained. “He survived someone trying to kill him – the night I came out to you – and I thought we’d managed to cure him, but mum found him today and he collapsed or something. So now he’s in Hospital and recovering properly.”  


“I have questions. A lot of questions.”  


“I won’t have all the answers.”  


Harry shook his head. “I need to ask him directly. It’s not a ministry interrogation. You could be in the room with him, and I will be respectful, if you needed a reassurance of that.”

Albus considered it, fiddling with the hem of his sleeve. He couldn’t decide without talking to Scorpius. If Scorpius agreed, Albus would be able to mediate. Scorpius wouldn’t just be arrested.

Albus wanted to say that he was sure of that fact, but he didn’t know enough about Scorpius’ life previously to say either way. Scorpius had never expressed ill-intentions towards anyone, but Albus had never asked exactly what he’d been taught.

He could at least be sure that Scorpius was not a spy. Nearly killing him would not have been a worthy risk if that was the case. Injuries, maybe, but not that curse.  


“I have to talk to Scorpius first,” Albus said, “and there are some things I need you to guarantee. First, the obvious one about not looking for an excuse to arrest him. And add him to the necessary records as discreetly as you can. His existence can’t get out to the press.”  


“Why not?”  


“Because someone will try and kill him again, and they’ll probably succeed.”

Harry nodded. He lifted his mug and swigged some of the tea. Albus picked up his own mug and blew away some of the steam.  


“I can do my best to give you that much,” Harry said. “When do you think you’ll be able to talk to him?”  


“I’m going back to St. Mungo’s now.”

Albus waited for a small indication that the conversation was indeed over and then he stood, tipping his unfinished tea down the sink. He pulled his jacket back on, heading through to the lounge to grab some Floo Powder. He stopped upon seeing his dad back in another doorway.  


“How long has Scorpius been here?”  


“Since Christmas. I’ve been hiding him in my room.”  


“Christmas?” Harry’s eyes widened. “Yes. That lines up but – wow Albus.”  


“It’s why I’ve had my music on more and why I’ve been eating twice as much.”

Albus finished with his shoes, grabbed a handful of Floo Powder, and stepped into the fireplace. Half a minute later, he stood in the Hospital foyer, weaving between people to make his way back to Scorpius’ ward. His mum was still sat outside, and she looked up as he approached. He waved a small hello, pushing the door open and letting himself relax a little when he saw Scorpius still asleep.  


“Hey,” Albus hovered beside James. “Thanks for coming down.”  


“No problem. How was dad?”  


“Not as bad as I thought he might be. He wants to talk to Scorpius, but that shouldn’t be too bad.”  


“The Healers were in here earlier. They said it’s going to be a while before he’s physically recovered, but immediate injuries. Everyone was very complimentary of Lily’s Healing skills. It’s only become life-threatening again recently, which means she held it off for three months or so.”  


“I’m glad they know it was her. It’ll help with Healing school admissions.”  
James chuckled. “I think they’d take her now.” Pause. “What about you? How are you doing?” 

Albus considered for a moment. He hadn’t actually stopped to consider his own reaction to this. Not since he’d seen Scorpius on the bed this afternoon. He didn’t know whether putting his emotions ‘on hold’ was a good or bad thing, but he’d done it.  


“I’m annoyed,” he admitted. “I’m annoyed that he didn’t tell me it had gotten worse again, but I understand why he didn’t. And I’m worried about dad, but–”  


“I’m sorry,” Scorpius groaned, rolling over slightly. “Sorry I didn’t…”  


“You don’t have to apologise,” Albus perched on the bed. “I understand.”  


“Did you talk to your dad?”  
“ Yes. He wants to talk to you, probably sometime soon. Y ou’re not in trouble. He just has questions. I’m allowed to be there and if you don’t want to answer, tell me and I’ll sort it out.”   


“I have to?”  


“It’s the easiest way out that lets us move away from this. He’s agreed to get you on record quietly. Once you’ve been discharged, we can find a nice flat somewhere.”

Scorpius smiled, following it with a pained grimace. Albus swept some of his hair from his eyes. Scorpius pulled his hand up to his cheek, leaning into Albus’ touch, and Albus planted a kiss on his forehead.

He looked the best he had done since Christmas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ if you're from the UK  
> The UK government has just introduced a survey/thing to try and introduce more men and women's facilities rather than gender-neutral spaces. While single-sex spaces are necessary, having them and removing gender-neutral spaces endangers anyone who does not present in a way that conforms to feminine or masculine stereotypes. Harassment of people in bathrooms is a real issue that can be helped with gender-neutral bathrooms. Please check my twitter for what you can do to help. They are looking for responses. So respond. Especially if you're cis.  
> People will die if this happens.  
> Please respond.
> 
> \----
> 
> Nearly published chapter six by mistake lol
> 
> Thanks for reading  
> Kudos and comments much appreciated  
> Twitter: @evie_adams273
> 
> Black Lives Matter  
> Fuck TERFs  
> Fuck Sia


	6. The Slow Move Onwards

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: discussion of cult tactics, in-depth discussion of character death/murder,
> 
> Content Warning: Hospital, injury aftermath, birthdays

Scorpius took Albus’ hand as Harry Potter led them down several corridors. Scorpius had said he’d felt well enough to move when Harry had showed up. That had been a lie, and things had changed for the worse in the half hour since then, but Scorpius preferred some pain if it got him privacy. After a debate with a Healer and a promise not to overexert himself, Scorpius was now using Albus as a human crutch down the corridor.

“Are you sure you want to keep walking? Albus asked.

“We’re nearly there now,” Scorpius shrugged. “May as well get there now and only bother sorting out how I’m getting back if I don’t get arrested.”

“You won’t get arrested.”

“You have a lot of faith in me.”

“Should I not?”

Scorpius didn’t answer. He couldn’t remember having done anything particularly awful in his life, but his vision was undeniably skewed. He may well have committed atrocities and just managed to justify it to himself. No one could predict how this meeting would end, least of all, Scorpius.

At least he didn’t have much to lose. He’d spent most of his time on a cliff or in pain. He could try and pretend he had never met Albus and finished off the intended task of the first night.

But Albus would suffer, and after everything, Scorpius couldn’t do that to him. He couldn’t hurt Albus. He had to avoid that at all costs because Albus deserved so much more than all of this.

Albus deserved to be in a relationship without this much complication, and without threat. Albus deserved to be happy without having to constantly worry about someone else. Albus just deserved more than him. Everyone did.

Scorpius sat down in the chair across from Harry Potter. He did not let go of Albus’ hand. Harry was unpacking papers from a small briefcase, prepping quill and ink. Scorpius closed his eyes. He closed his hand into a fist, centring himself with the nails digging into his skin.

“Scorpius,” Harry’s voice forced him back to the present, “it’s nice to meet you.”

“You too,” Scorpius opened his eyes again.

“The aim of today is not to get you in any trouble. I just need to ask some general security questions regarding a possible threat to national security. You are not in trouble and I am not aiming to incriminate you.”

Scorpius nodded.

“Easy questions first,” Harry smiled, Scorpius attempting to return it. “What’s your full name?”

“Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy.”

“How old are you?”

“Twenty. My birthday is March thirtieth.”

“You didn’t tell me,” Albus looked at him. “We could have celebrated.”

“Moving was starting to hurt again,” Scorpius mumbled. “I just wanted to sleep. I don’t even remember the day itself.” Albus nodded.

“Who are your parents?” Harry continued.

“Draco Malfoy and Astoria Greengrass.”

“And where did you grow up?”

“In a series of underground caverns. I don’t know where they are. Somewhere in this country, given what I know about their history. I don’t know more than that. Sorry.”

“That’s okay.”

This was where Harry started to write things down, his quill darting over the parchment. Scorpius waited for the scratching to stop and Harry looked up when he finished.

“Did you ever leave this space?”

“Not before I started seeing Albus.” Pause. “Actually, wait. We left, once. When I was about eight. Me and mum and dad went on a holiday to a little cottage in some mountains. We never went back.”

“Do you know anything about what these people were planning? Or if they were planning anything?”

“I don’t even know who the leaders are. My dad did, but he refused to tell me. He would just repeat empty threats and ignore my questions about whether we were living in a cult.”

“If it was a cult, how are you able to be critical of that, while inside.”

“I got lucky? My mum would give me these history books, especially after the time we left. I couldn’t tell anyone else, but things were wrong, and I knew that.”

“Are there any unpleasant practices that are commonplace you would feel comfortable to talk about?”

“What sort of things?”

“Unforgivable Curses? Dark Magic?” 

Scorpius swallowed. “There was a school. We learnt two of the Unforgiveable Curses fairly early on.”

“They were taught as ‘Unforgiveable’?”

“They told us that you would call them that. But that they were good things and, while we shouldn’t jump to use them, we shouldn’t be afraid either.”

“Did you use them?”

“We were taught with animals first,” Scorpius forced himself to keep his eyes open as his heart started to pound in his chest. “They told us to practice on each other after that. Except the Killing Curse. Not that one.”

Scorpius flinched as Albus took his other hand, noting that the shaking was now near uncontrollable. He started to rock a little, his eyes darting as he tried to note the presence of certain things around him.

A table. Three chairs. Some parchment. Green ink. A curtain over the window in the door. Albus. Albus’ work clothes. Harry Potter. Harry Potter who had stopped writing to watch whatever panic was overwhelming him now.

Scorpius closed his eyes, bringing his breathing back to something vaguely normal with the reminder that he was safe. That wouldn’t take away from what he had to talk about next if Potter wanted unrivalled honesty. Which he would. Because of course he would.

Albus knew some of what had happened. Scorpius would have preferred to tell him first, but that didn’t appear to be an option anymore so he had to try and be okay with this instead. As okay as he could be with being interrogated about a cult he knew nothing about.

“No one ever tried to resist their instructions after the first time,” Scorpius croaked. “One person tried when I was twelve. They wouldn’t use the Cruciatus Curse on someone else.”

“What happened?”

“They killed my mother.”

Scorpius watched Harry process this and come to the conclusion that he had tried to imply without saying it directly. When it became apparent that Harry had worked out the connection, Scorpius spoke again.

“My mother had a blood curse. They stopped it, or they delayed it, so that she would have a normal lifespan. The curses they used were dark but they kept her alive. I think they used unicorn blood, pearl dust – reality altering. I’m not sure. But even so. When I was born, everyone thought it was a miracle. They had a Malfoy heir, and my grandfather was happy because I was a boy. I could rise to something great and all that – shit. It wasn’t what my mum wanted, but she couldn’t change their ideas. Only mine.  
“Then I failed. I refused to do the Dark things, because mum had, in their eyes, distorted my world views. She’d contradicted them. And I knew what we were doing was wrong. So I said no. Even when they all used the curse on me, and when they kept me locked up on my own and wouldn’t let me see anyone. I still didn’t use it on anyone. By the end, I don’t think I’d have been powerful enough to use it anyway. They just let me out, let me go – home. But I was the illegitimate heir now. I wasn’t a Malfoy. I was a failure. So they told her she needed to produce another heir. They forced her. They took away the curse treatments. She nearly died giving birth. The curse killed her two years later.  
“People watched this happening to my family. It went on for years. Why would anyone put themselves at risk of that?”

“You left,” Harry pointed out. “I’d wager that everything you’ve done recently would also be grounds for them repeating something similar.”

Scorpius let out a harsh laugh, meeting Harry’s gaze. “But I don’t care anymore.”

Silence.

“I live in the knowledge that I killed my mother. In part, at least. I don’t care if I live or die. They can’t hurt me without hurting their precious heir, so they have nothing left to hurt me with. I was quiet. I was reserved. I was exempt from being a model so I would spend my days healing any injuries from those classes, and reading the books my mother left me. And working out ways to get out.”

Harry nodded, putting down his quill. He didn’t seem to have written anything about the latest things Scorpius had said, which Scorpius appreciated. It was a private thing and even he didn’t know why he’d said so much.

“I think I’ve got enough to be getting on with,” Harry said quietly. “I might have to come back and ask a few more questions, but I’ll give plenty of warning. Thank you for agreeing to meet me today. I understand that it’s difficult.”

Scorpius nodded as Harry stood up and walked out of the room. He stared at the desk, every emotion under the sun bubbling to the surface until he leant against Albus, tears that he didn’t remember crying starting to drip off his chin.

“I think she’d be proud of you,” Albus whispered. “From what you’ve said about her, I think she would be so unbelievably proud of you.”

“I shouldn’t keep so many secrets from you.”

“It’s your life. Those are your things to tell.”

“Still.” Short silence. “Can you help me back to the ward. I’m exhausted.”

“Of course.”

Albus stood, helping Scorpius to his feet and wrapping an arm around his waist. Scorpius leaned on him again and the two of them limped out of the room and back to the ward Scorpius had been moved to.

* * *

Scorpius remained in Hospital for a number of weeks. The combination of the curse and a lack of movement for three or four months had resulted in a need for a large amount of physiotherapy on top of all the potions and post-curse treatments. Albus started to pack his things and look for flats, bringing his findings to the Hospital during his daily visits.

He also brought Scorpius books for the days where he couldn’t make it to the ward. Scorpius was grateful for that. He had to keep his head down, but it was so damn boring during the day.

Physio in the morning. Break. Physio in the afternoon. Break. Albus. Evening.

Every day for months.

Albus had probably transferred about half of his bookshelf to the hospital.

Scorpius missed his family, more than he’d admitted to anyone around him. He’d had to leave, and there hadn’t been any other choice, but the last time he’d seen his sister, he had been dying and she had been injured. She didn’t know what had happened to him. She couldn’t know that he survived.

He would never leave the group behind. Maybe he’d see her again, one day. Maybe they would find a way to dismantle the whole thing and Ana would come running into his arms and he would never have to let go of his little sister.

The attack could end up being a good thing, but only if something happened soon. If it didn’t, Ana would take after the violence and the hatred. She wouldn’t have their mum to influence the things that Ana was taught. She would be powerful, and she would do whatever the shadows wanted.

No. That wouldn’t happened. The Ministry of Magic knew now and they would investigate until they found them. Ana would get out. Maybe they would even let Scorpius’ father go.

It was all a bit fat maybe. However, Scorpius had the time to let his mind wander down every single eventuality. The ones that made him smile. The ones that sent him spiralling out of control. The ones that gave him awful nightmares. He considered all of it and how he couldn’t really affect what would happen.

Albus wanted a quiet life because a quiet life meant that Scorpius was safe. Scorpius couldn’t do anything stupid and get himself killed in an effort to rescue Ana. Even if he would have given his life to see Ana safe.

Scorpius refused to hurt Albus in that way. He loved him. He wouldn’t do that to him. Ever.

“Hey.”

Scorpius looked up from his book as Albus settled in the chair beside his bed, returning the smile.

“Hey,” he murmured. “How was your day?”

“Originally, I was told I’d be dealing with a Manticore,” Albus chuckled, “so even the dung-shovelling was an improvement on that. Don’t worry. I showered. How are you doing?”

“Okay,” Scorpius said. “Physio is getting easier so I think they might discharge me sooner rather than later. I still have to come in for check-ups – obviously – but it’ll be easier once I’m out of here. I swear, Albus, you’ve got no idea how bored I am.”

Albus smiled, reaching out to take Scorpius’ hand. Scorpius interlinked their fingers and bit his lip. Albus’ hands were rough and cool, covered in small callouses, though his nails remained unchipped.

“Could I try and help with the boredom?” he whispered. “At least for tonight?”

“What have you done?”

“I talked to a Healer,” Albus grinned, “and she said you’re allowed to come down to the garden if you wanted to.”

“Outside?” Scorpius’ mouth dropped open. “I’m allowed to go outside?”

“As long as we’re careful,” Albus nodded. “I’ll take that as a yes?”

Scorpius rolled his eyes and Albus laughed, helping him to his feet and reaching for a small basket Scorpius hadn’t noticed him come in with. He frowned and Albus tapped his nose.

“Outside,” he whispered.

The pair left the ward, making their way down the stairs at a half-decent pace. Scorpius could finally walk more than twenty feet without the exhaustion exploding out of him. He was still tired by the time they reached the garden, but that didn’t matter as he stepped on the grass, his foot melting into the ground.

He flopped down, lying down and taking a deep breath. He would never be able to fully express how much he adored the smell and sight of grass. The first time he had seen it, eight years old and in awe of how big the world really was, he and his mum had rolled all the way down the grassy slope above the cottage.

Scorpius was coming to understand that what he thought of as breaking the rules, as having fun, were simply parts of a typical childhood that came with ‘being a kid’. Or the bits he’d missed out on for the most part, but had had enough of to tie him to something outside of the cult-thing.

It was becoming incredibly clear how hard his mum had worked to keep him from being indoctrinated into all of it. All of the books and the conversations and the days they’d spent together had been targeted. Even the lack of discussion about what he would do after she died meant that he focussed on private grief rather than things that could have brought him into the group.

Scorpius had spoken to a few Healers about his mother’s death. They, and Harry, had recommended him for grief counselling with a Mind-Healer. Scorpius wasn’t sure what he wanted to do yet.

Scorpius looked up to see Albus sat beside him, pulling various foods out of the picnic basket. He caught Scorpius’ eye and grinned.

“You’ve been planning this,” Scorpius said, “haven’t you?”

“I asked when you might be allowed to come out,” Albus nodded, “because it occurred to me that there are a few things we’ve missed and I would like to try them again if you’re up for it. Like a normal couple.”

“What things?” Scorpius hesitated as his nerves got the better of him.

“Well,” Albus settled, “we’ve never had first date. We saw each other a bit and then seemed to jump straight into moving in.”

“It wasn’t really–”

“I know,” Albus said. “I know circumstances were not ideal. Obviously, it would have been better if you hadn’t nearly died twice.”

“But I’m out,” Scorpius said, “and I think it might be worth it. I don’t know how else I’d have escaped. What were the other things.”

“Your sense of self-preservation is worrying.”

“It’s not. I’d rather have not nearly died, but this happened and I’m not unhappy. The other things?”

“Okay. Other thing. We missed your birthday.”

Scorpius cringed.

“I know we haven’t actually talked about birthdays so if you don’t want to celebrate, I’m sorry. We can pretend the cake isn’t a birthday one.”

“You brought a cake?”

“Small one.”

Scorpius smiled. “I don’t tend to celebrate my birthday,” he admitted. “No one did. So I didn’t.”

“Want to start?”

“I’m happy to give it a go.”

He pulled himself up to sitting, wrapping his arms around Albus and resting his forehead against his boyfriend’s. Albus cupped his cheek, his finger tracing down the edge of his face. Scorpius leant forward and pecked him on the edge of the mouth. Albus kissed Scorpius back, rolling onto the grass and readjusting the way they had their arms wrapped around one another.

Scorpius stopped kissing him to bury his face in his shoulder. “Picnic,” he laughed. “You brought food.”

“Good point,” Albus sat up. “Very sorry,”

“It’s okay,” Scorpius followed suit. “I enjoyed it. Just – food.”

“You prefer food to kissing me?” Albus pulled two rolls out and started buttering them.

“I wouldn’t know. We haven’t got enough testing done yet.”

Albus laughed, the noise exploding from his throat as he passed Scorpius the food. Scorpius bit into it, lying down his with his head in Albus’ lap. Albus put a hand on his head, stroking his hair, and Scorpius closed his eyes, taking in the deepest breaths of fresh air that he could manage without feeling pain in his chest.

This was the first date. About six months into the relationship, they were having their first date.

The first of many.

* * *

About three days before Scorpius’ discharge date rolled around, Albus managed to put down a deposit on a flat and started to move things in. He had gone through every potential option with Scorpius and they had settled on a small, two-bedroom flat in the town closest to the Sanctuary. Two bedrooms, a bathroom, and a kitchen/lounge space.

Albus came to the Hospital that evening, bringing a few photos of the place to show Scorpius. He sat down next to Scorpius’ bed, smiling as Scorpius held up a hand to ask for a moment to finish the chapter of the book he had moved onto. Albus glanced through the photos one last time while he waited for Scorpius to finish. 

“I’ve got photos,” he smiled when Scorpius closed the book. “It’s small, but there’s space and I think it looks nice.”

“You went with the one near the Sanctuary?”

“It’s the one a little further away, but it’s a bit bigger and out of town so cheaper for the same space.”

“Two bedrooms?”

“We hadn’t talked about sharing. This gives us the option to keeps things slow if we want to.”

Scorpius nodded, though he kept fiddling with his bedsheet rather than meeting Albus’ gaze. Albus stopped to wait for a confirmation to continue talking. When Scorpius did look up, he flinched as he locked eyes with Albus and came shuddering back to reality.

“Sorry.”

“Are you okay?”

“Is this a good idea?”

“Is what a good idea?”

“Us. Moving in together. I mean, if they think I’m dead, it would be fine, but if they don’t, they might come after us again and I don’t want you getting caught up in that.”

Albus paused. He’d thought about this. Of course he had. He’d considered every risk and possibility, but he had weighed it up against the fact that people might have known about Scorpius for at least a month or longer now, and nothing had happened.

“I’m not scared,” Albus said quietly. “We can keep it all down low. We can get you a wand and both get quiet jobs and just have a normal life.”

“What if we get attacked.”

“Then we’ll do our best to fight back.”

“Albus.”

“My life was meaningless before I met you. You brought something into my life and I’m willing to take a risk if it means we stay in each other’s lives.”

“It’s not a typical risk. It’s a risk of torture and death.”

“Does that go away for you if we break up?”

Scorpius hesitated. “No.”

“Then I am not going anywhere. If you don’t want to move in with me because there’s something about me, or our relationship, that okay. I accept that. But if it’s concerns about my safety, then it doesn’t matter to me.” Pause. “That sounded awful. Sorry.”

“I know what you meant,” Scorpius smiled. He reached out to take Albus’ hand, running his fingers over Albus’ knuckles with another small smile. “The flat looks really nice.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Didn't really register how many trigger warnings there would be on this. Ramping up again.  
> Thanks for reading  
> Kudos and comments much appreciated  
> Twitter: @evie_adams273
> 
> Black Lives Matter  
> Fuck TERFs  
> Fuck Sia


	7. A New Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: discussion of suicide

Albus pushed the front door open, taking a deep breath of the clean smell in the flat. He held the door for Scorpius to enter and put down the bags Albus had let him carry. He smiled eyes darting between the vase of flowers and the rug Albus had put down on the floor. He’d already admitted he’d bought those to cover an existing stain.

Albus had filled the flat with a mix of cheap furniture sourced from the local charity shop. Scorpius loved it. Nothing matched. Nothing seemed right, by any standard. But all of it had the potential to look lived in, like it was theirs and no one else’s.

Scorpius had spent twenty years being denied individuality. Maybe Albus had thought about that, maybe he hadn’t. Whatever had happened in the process, Scorpius loved the outcome.

He turned back to Albus, throwing his arms around him and planting a small kiss on his lips. Albus laughed softly, running a hand through his hair. He pulled Scorpius over to the sofa, sinking into the cushions and curling up beside Scorpius.

“I’ve moved almost everything in,” Albus murmured. “It’s not a lot, but we’ve got the essentials.”

“What do we still need?”

“You still need a wand and some clothes that fit you properly.”

Scorpius laughed. “Are you salty that I keep stealing your clothes and books?”

“Our books. And I’m just thinking of your comfort, darling.”

Scorpius laughed again, burying his face in the crook of Albus’ neck. Albus wrapped an arm around his shoulders and the two of them sank a little further into the sofa.

Scorpius didn’t understand how he had been catapulted into adulthood like this, but he liked it. He liked knowing that this was, to all intents and purposes, the first day of his life being free and safe and happy. He was excited for the day he could get a job, and for when he could start doing all the other ‘adult’ things he’d read about in books (since Christmas).

“I know I said I’d talk to the Sanctuary soon,” Albus said, “but I have the day off tomorrow and there’s a beach near here.”

“Are we near where we met?”

“No, Merlin no. I didn’t look anywhere near my parents. But I figured, since you couldn’t really see the sea from where we were sat, we could take a day?”

Scorpius considered the idea for a moment. It sounded incredible, not least because Scorpius didn’t actually know what a day at the beach looked like. There had been one occasion where the sea and the sand had been described to him, but never any indication that he would be able to visit. But here was Albus acting like it was the most casual suggestion in the world.

“Will it be busy?” Scorpius asked.

“Probably not. It’s school term time and a weekday, so as long as we’re heading home before four o’clock, we should avoid any big crowds.

“Okay,” Scorpius nodded. “Yes. Okay. Beach day.”

* * *

The weather could not have been more perfect, Scorpius noted as he and Albus walked down the path from the sand dunes. They had come in the quieter route on Scorpius’ request, but that put them out on a nice spot on the sand. A portion of Scorpius’ mind still liked to insist that this couldn’t last, but he had decided to ignore that. Whatever happened next, the memory of today would last forever.

Scorpius followed Albus’ advice and pulled his shoes and socks before stepping onto the sand. His heart missed a beat as his foot sunk into the stuff and he wriggled his toes with a giggle. Albus laughed, taking his hand and leading him down the sand. Scorpius closed his eyes, stomach lurching in an oddly pleasant manner with each step he took.  
The air smelt fresh, in a way that Scorpius couldn’t quite describe to himself, and he opened his eyes to have his gaze land on the vast blue expanse in front of him. He blinked a few times as the glares caught his eyes, looking at Albus.

“This is incredible!”

“Do you think you can run?” Albus dropped the bags onto the sand and weighed the picnic blanket down.

“I think so,” Scorpius nodded, putting his shoes down.

Albus took his hand, breaking into a half-sprint that became increasingly difficult until they hit the warm sand. Scorpius grew out of breath quite quickly and Albus slowed his pace to match. They both ended up in a gentle jog, not letting go of the other’s hand.

Scorpius shrieked as he hit the water and the cold sent shockwaves through his body. He still ran deeper, closing his eyes and letting the waves splash around his legs. Albus caught up with him, wrapping an arm around Scorpius’ waist and leaning his head on his shoulder.

“It’s so big,” Scorpius breathed out. “How is the world so big?”

“We should take you up a mountain,” Albus grinned. “And we should go back to our cliff in the day.”

“How big is that?”

“Much bigger than this. And there aren’t nearly as many boats because the pier is round the coast.”

Scorpius nodded, looking over at the hundreds of boats spilling out into the water. All sorts of shapes and sizes focussed on the busier end of the beach, which also seemed to be closer to the town.

“They’re cool, aren’t they?” Albus said. “We can take a walk along the marina later. It’s fairly quiet.”

“That sounds nice,” Scorpius nodded. “And this – this is incredible. If – when – Ana gets out, I want to bring her here. Or somewhere like this.”

“Has she ever left the – the Caverns?”

“No,” Scorpius said. “They wouldn’t have let mum travel even if she had been well enough. So mum was just ill for two years, and Ana – Ana didn’t even know her.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Mum never even got a proper funeral in the end. Just a small memorial with me and dad. Ana didn’t know. It was such a mess.”

“We can do something proper if you want. When we’re a bit more sure of things, we can have a proper memorial.”

“Maybe,” Scorpius bit his lip. “Not the time to think about it. We’re trying to have a nice day.”

Albus took his hands and grinned at him before pushing him back. Scorpius shrieked again as he landed in the water, reaching out to trip Albus up before the wave crashed over them and poured sand through their hair.

Scorpius pulled himself through the water, a task that proved harder than he had anticipated. He threw his arms around Albus again as the waves continued to soak through their clothes. Scorpius rested his chin on Albus’ shoulder.

“I’m glad they attacked me,” he whispered, “because is worth it.”

“This is worth everything you went through?”

“You, and this, and getting out. It was worth it.”

He didn’t need to acknowledge that it might not have been over.

* * *

“Albus, I don’t think you realise the position you’re putting me in,” Albus’ boss said. “You are asking me to give someone a job, but telling me that you can’t tell me or anyone else anything about them.”

“I know,” Albus nodded. “Atiya, you know that I wouldn’t be asking unless I had no other options.”

“Do you have any sort of formal education?” Atiya looked at Scorpius.

“I didn’t attend Hogwarts,” Scorpius started slowly, “but I can do some magic. Only random sections. I can’t do basic charms, for example.”

“That’s going to be a problem,” Atiya said. “If you’re working here anonymously, you’ll need to work behind the scenes. That would involve cleaning, general maintenance and that. Looking at you, I don’t want to assume but I’m not sure you’d be suited.”

“I can teach him,” Albus blurted. “Scor, I can teach you basic magic. Given what you can do already, I’m sure it won’t take you that long to pick up on.”

“What magic can you do?” Atiya put their quill down, eyes settling on Scorpius. “Be honest.”

Scorpius glanced at Albus, attempting to silently ask if he should actually be honest. Albus didn’t seem to have a response and Scorpius bit the inside of his lip. Time to dance around the truth.

“Healing,” he said. “I can heal minor wounds.”

Atiya raised an eyebrow. “You can heal but you can’t do basic charm-work?”

“I…yeah…”

“I’d dye your hair, if I were you,” Atiya glanced at their notes.

“Is it that obvious?” Scorpius cringed. “Yes. Well, I won’t publicise – me.”

He waited for Atiya to finish skimming through papers, taking Albus’ hand. Albus smiled at him, rubbing a finger over the back of his knuckles.

“I can’t pay you much,” Atiya said. “If you want to stay anonymous, I have to keep you off the record and I can’t request a larger budget.”

“If it’s not doable–”

“It’s doable. I just need to fiddle with some administrative things. And I’m sure Albus will agree with me when I say we need an on-site Healer.”

“Do you not have anyone?”

“Everyone has a basic knowledge of what they might need,” Albus explained, “and if they don’t know something, someone else will. Still, you never seem to know where anyone else is when you need them most.”

“I can’t do major things,” Scorpius blurted. “I’d have no idea how to cope with venoms.”

“Anything serious goes directly to St. Mungo’s,” Albus assured him, “but mostly it’s broken limbs and they’re not difficult.”

* * *

Albus sunk into the sofa, curling up beside Scorpius. Scorpius wrapped an arm around him, the book he was holding onto tumbling onto the sofa. He reached over and put it on the coffee table. Albus looked at him.

“You okay?”

Scorpius nodded, running a hand through his hair and breathing out. Albus sat up as he sensed Scorpius about to start speaking and Scorpius’ lower lip wobbled. He closed his eyes, balling his hands into fists.

“Can we talk?” he croaked eventually.

Albus took a breath before he answered. “Of course.”

“You remember when we first met,” Scorpius whispered, “and I had to go without warning.”

“I remember,” Albus nodded.

“I said thank you, but I wouldn’t tell you what for.” Albus nodded again. “Can I tell you why?”

“If you want to.”

“I want to.”

“Then I’m listening.”

Scorpius slipped off the sofa so that he sat, cross-legged on the floor. Albus joined him, a foot from his boyfriend. He smiled.

“I wasn’t suicidal when I met you,” Scorpius’ words caught and he repeated them in a whisper. “I didn’t want to die.” Scorpius’ hand shook as he raised them a little. He breathed in and out, lowering his hands again and closing his eyes. “But I don’t think I wanted to live either. I didn’t have any reason to – to do so. There was a cliff and it would have been so easy to fly off the top and fall. It would have ended it. I would have seen my mother again.”

Albus didn’t say anything. Scorpius had something more to say, given how he was sat. So Albus waited.

“I met you and I had something,” Scorpius continued. “I didn’t even know you but I wanted to know you and that meant I had to come back and that meant I had to live. I wanted to know you before I died. You saved my life without even realising it.”

Albus processed this, his eyes filling with tears. He returned Scorpius’ smile and moved a little closer while reaching for his hand. Scorpius weaved their fingers together.

“First of all,” Albus whispered, “do you still feel like that? Like you want to die?”

“No,” Scorpius shook his head. “I haven’t in a long time.”

“If you do, please tell me? Whatever is going on? I’d rather know so I could help you.”

“Yeah. I’ll tell you.”

“Secondly, thank you for telling me. I know that’s a huge thing to share with someone and I’m honoured you shared it with me.”

“I love you,” Scorpius murmured. “You are the only person I would consider telling.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm going to start posting two chapters a week otherwise we're not going to be done before June.  
> Things are going to ramp up next chapter and I am looking forward to it.  
> I have started worldbuilding for something and it's getting further and further into pissing off Tories and Republicans and I'm quite proud of that. And by that I mean everyone is gay and almost nobody is white.
> 
> DO NOT WATCH MUSIC, BY SIA. IF YOU'RE THAT CURIOUS, GO TO @the.autisticats ON INSTA OR TWITTER FOR A REVIEW.
> 
> Thanks for reading  
> Kudos and comments much appreciated  
> Twitter: @evie_adams273
> 
> Black Lives Matter  
> Fuck TERFs  
> Fuck Sia


	8. Irony

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content Warning: minor argument/distress, nightmares

Albus first noticed Scorpius’ nightmares about six weeks after they moved in. Scorpius claimed they hadn’t started long before, but Albus suspected otherwise. He only found out because, in his struggle to get to sleep – the summer heat had reached new levels – and Scorpius’ screams had made it through the wall.

Albus assumed the walls were fairly thin, meaning that Scorpius had known for long enough to put up a decent Silencing Charm. Albus sat up, making his way to Scorpius’ door and knocking a few times. He waited about thirty seconds before pushing the door open to see Scorpius thrashing about in the bedsheets.

He had tangled himself in them, erratic movements only making it worse as he tried to free himself. Albus hurried across the room, taking Scorpius’ hand and holding on in an attempt to try and ground Scorpius. He didn’t know how to deal with nightmares. He could barely deal with his own issues.

With his other hand, Albus took Scorpius’ shoulder and started to shake him. Scorpius’ clothes were soaked with sweat and he kept shouting things that Albus couldn’t quite make out. He started to repeat Scorpius’ name, moving from a whisper through to a near-roar – as loud as he dared to go.

Scorpius sat bolt upright, eyes wide and full of tears. He looked at Albus for a moment, his body shaking, before he collapsed forwards. He buried his face in Albus’ shoulder.

“I’m sorry I woke you,” he mumbled.

“Don’t apologise,” Albus said. “I would rather be awake to help you.”

“You’ve got work.”

“As have you, and you have a more important job than me, arguably.”

Scorpius nodded, curling up in Albus’ arms and burrowing his head near his shoulder. Albus rested a hand on his head and stroked his hair. He took some time to focus on his own breathing now that Scorpius was coming down.

What was obvious was that this had happened before. Albus could understand Scorpius’ decision to keep it hidden, to some degree, but he wished that he had been able to do something. At the very least, he could do better now. They could talk about things. He could ‘be there’ for Scorpius. If Scorpius wanted to try Sleeping Draughts, they had options.

Things were tight, but there were ways around it. If Albus had to pick up extra shifts, or get a second job, he could make time for that. Scorpius probably wouldn’t want him to go to that much trouble, but Albus would rather Scorpius had the chance to be comfortable and happy after everything he had been through.

“Will you stay here?” Scorpius’ voice was muffled.

“Sleep in here?”

“Please.”

“If you’re okay with it.”

Scorpius nodded, moving over to allow Albus to lie down. Albus untangled the sheets and pulled the blanket over the two of them – Scorpius had abandoned the duvet. Scorpius curled up and Albus put an arm around him, closing his eyes.

* * *

This became a fairly common occurrence. Scorpius continued to have nightmares while refusing Sleeping Draughts and the like, so Albus would stay with him. Albus didn’t mind. After a few weeks, he suggested they move into one room together and have the spare room in case they needed some space.

After this decision, it took a few days to find a cheap double-bed in a charity shop, and getting it into the flat itself had been one of the most stressful things Albus had ever done. But now they had it and could comfortably sleep in the same room.

They picked Scorpius’ room, because familiarity seemed key in continuing to help Scorpius.

And life just continued. Occasionally, they saw Lily or James or Albus’ parents invited them for dinner, though that seemed to be happening less frequently as of late – Harry had become strangely withdrawn.

Albus’ mum and Scorpius seemed to get on very well, something Albus couldn’t help but be grateful for. Given how they had met, the relationship had every potential to turn sour, but it never did. Albus didn’t mind how little he tended to say at their dinners, simply because the light seemed to come back to Scorpius’ eyes when Albus’ mum was talking about Quidditch or explaining something apparently simple.

This was only ever temporary, but at least it existed. If it could exist in their messy transition to a normal life that was still awash with hospital check-ups and mountains of potions in the medicine cabinet it would exist long into the future. It would help, given that Scorpius would probably be on some sort of pain relief for the rest of his life.

Scorpius had scars from both the first growth and the second. The curse had left lasting marks and while Albus hadn’t seen them and wouldn’t ask to see them, he knew that it would never heal completely. When Dark Magic was used with little regard for ethics, they had very little reason to create something a person could recover from.

Albus did his best to keep entirely on top of Scorpius’ medication, to make sure he always had it ready when Scorpius needed it, whether it was an impromptu need or a planned one. He was always up before Scorpius, always had breakfast ready. Scorpius had never asked for any of this and all Albus wanted was to be able to make his life a little easier where he could. It was the least he could do.

They had dates about once a month, to small muggle restaurants or cafes where they could pass largely unnoticed by the world. Albus took quiet appreciation in the blessing they received from that. No one recognised him anymore. No one came bounding up to him in the street, demanding an autograph from one of his parents. No one shouted abuse at him because he was the disappointment of a Potter.

The two were simply able to lead a quiet, peaceful life. No expectations. No pressures. Just two people in love, living together.

* * *

The restaurant had started to reach full capacity by the time that Albus and Scorpius had finished eating, perfectly timed for them to leave and begin the second part of their date – the part Scorpius had planned.

This was their second date in three weeks, since Albus had had to pick up a few extra shifts to cover for someone, but he also regularly pointed out that they had plenty of lost time to catch up on. He had planned the dinner – a small restaurant in the next town over – and Scorpius had asked if they could go for a walk afterwards. Albus hadn’t pressed for details so he had no idea where Scorpius intended to take them.

He locked his fingers in with Scorpius as he pulled up the hood of his coat and disappeared into the depths of the clothing. He led Albus down the street, indicating a little path between some shops. Albus looked at him with raised eyebrows and Scorpius laughed.

“I know where I’m going,” he said. “I’ve checked the map so many times.”

“If we die,” Albus hissed, “I’m blaming you.”

Scorpius laughed again, pulling Albus into the passage and along until it brought them out by a river. Albus stared around, taking a moment to process that they had reached the magical side of the town. In what other circumstance would the starlight dance on the water and hang from the trees?

The streetlamps had disappeared, the only light coming from the moon and a few of the fairies dancing across the water. Past the river lay rolling fields full of wheat or barley or some other crop and, in front of the two of them, there was a path and a bench. Scorpius led Albus down the path and into the cover of a few trees.

“This is gorgeous,” Albus murmured. “How did you know about this?”

“One of the Healers who kept me company in Hospital,” Scorpius said. “They would ask about the flats you were looking and said something about this when I said we’d decided on a home.”

“If I ever see them, I’ll say thank you.”

Scorpius smiled. “You can see the stars out here.”

“You’re going to show me two Scorpii at once?” Albus feigned shock. “Honey, you’re spoiling me.”

“You deserve it,” Scorpius planted a kiss on the tip of his nose.

They continued down the path, emerging at the other edge of the trees in a meadow that stretched into the darkness as far as Albus could see. He glanced up and smiled as the stars faded into views. They were the only source of light other than the moon and Albus couldn’t help but think back to his Astronomy OWL. That was the last time he’d seen them in this much detail.

Scorpius flopped down on the grass, pulling a small basket from the bag and Albus stared.

“Undetectable Extension Charm,” Scorpius grinned. “Learnt it at work.”

“Awesome,” Albus lay down beside him. “They’re tricky.”

“It took several attempts.”

Scorpius passed Albus a flask and he opened it, the warm aroma of hot chocolate wafting into the air. Scorpius offered him a mug and Albus filled it, taking the second mug and passing the now full one back to Scorpius. Scorpius smiled, pulling out a chocolate bar and stirring the drink with it.

“You got enough chocolate?”

“Sugar is glorious,” Scorpius said, “and I have twenty years to catch up on.”

“Why do I get the impression you would still be eating that if you didn’t?”

Scorpius pouted. “Leave me and my love of sugar alone.”

“Okay,” Albus wrapped an arm around him. “You’re adorable.”

“I know.”

Albus let out a laugh, rolling his eyes and sipping his hot chocolate. He had to admit that Scorpius made it very well – always managing the perfect balance of sweet and creamy – and Albus could take a flask to work, close his eyes while drinking it, and be with Scorpius in a matter of seconds.

After the hot chocolate was gone, they lay back on the grass together, joining hands and gazing up at the stars. Where Albus had the technical knowledge, Scorpius had an abundance of stories that led to the names. The conversation quickly evolved into Albus pointing out various planets and Scorpius explaining their names, or telling stories about the Gods they were named for. Albus rested his head on Scorpius’ shoulder and let his boyfriend’s words wash over him.

Merlin he loved him.

Years in the future, Albus would wonder whether what happened next would have been inevitable, even without whatever outside interference had taken place. After all, they had been oddly fortunate, until this point, in managing to avoid any and all confrontation regarding Scorpius’ family. The sense of security Albus developed helped him relax to begin with, but that did not stop it from vanishing as the stars began to disappear with a chill in the air.

Albus sat up, clocking where his wand was and draining his hot chocolate. Scorpius sat up beside him, illuminating his wand with a whisper. Albus shook his head and the hairs on the back of his neck started to stand on end. Something threatened its coming and Albus preferred not to attract its attention.

He reached over Scorpius to start packing things up again, ignoring his boyfriend’s confused expression for the time being. He could explain once they were safe. Just a quick apparition away and they would be fine.

Albus pulled himself to his feet, grabbing the bag and offering his hand to Scorpius. He scanned around once more before putting his wand in his pocket and preparing to apparate.

In that second, the chill turned to an icy cold, draining any remaining light until Albus couldn’t see Scorpius. He held onto his hand, about to apparate, when nearly a hundred Dementors descended on them and ripped Scorpius into the darkness.

Albus dropped the bag, taking out his wand and trying to make his mind focus on what he had to do. Happy memory. Happy thought. Expecto Patronum. Get Scorpius. Get home. Easy. Simple. Simple steps.

But he couldn’t think of anything happy enough for a Patronus. Every memory of Scorpius tied itself to the constant fear for Scorpius’ life, and that was now all he could focus on. Every memory of school tied itself to resentment and hatred. Every memory of home – well that didn’t need any elaboration.

The Dementors were getting closer, skeletal hands reaching out to touch him and keep him still to drag him further into the darkness.

“Expecto Patronum.”

He coughed the words out, doing his best to focus on the time he had kissed Scorpius, on Scorpius making him motivated enough to get a job. On the animals he cared for and loved. It was all damn near impossible when the images of injured, near-dead Scorpius kept appearing in his mind’s eye.

He couldn’t see Scorpius at all now. What if Scorpius had been kissed? What if Scorpius was gone? This many Dementors had to be a targeted attack. An attack meant the cult because who else could order something like this? If the Dementors were taking Scorpius they’d kiss Albus and take Scorpius and Scorpius would die and it would all be over.

Albus didn’t want to die. He didn’t want either of them to die. But what could he do? He couldn’t even cast a Patronus to protect the person he loved most.

His wand slipped from his hand. Albus stumbled backwards as the Dementors glided closer, their hands edging towards their hoods. Shit. Shit. It was going to kiss him. He was going to die. Not die. Worse. Maybe. His wand was long gone now. He couldn’t see Scorpius.

Someone screamed Expecto Patronum behind him and the light exploded across the scene. Albus fell over backwards as a stag charged past him, clearing the Dementors and illuminating the meadow. Albus searched for Scorpius, spotting him somewhere on the far side of it all, before looking around for the person who had saved him.

He landed on his dad, rapidly approaching with his wand still raised. He checked over Albus as Albus tried to swallow the feeling of a blockage in his throat. He needed to talk. He needed to get words out.

“Scorpius,” a croak was followed by a shout. “Save Scorpius!”

“I have to keep you safe,” his dad picked up his wand and pocketed it, reaching to take his arm. “We have to go home.”

“No,” Albus shook his dad off and started to run back towards the Dementors. “Go after Scorpius!” he pointed. “You have to go after Scorpius!”

“Don’t be stupid, Albus,” Harry snapped. “Scorpius is gone.”

That much was true. The majority of the Dementors had disappeared, but Scorpius was nowhere to be seen. Albus screamed.

“GO AFTER HIM!” he sobbed. “You have to go after him!”

“We’re going home,” Harry took his arm in a more ironlike grip. “He’s gone.”

“They’re going to kill him,” Albus dug his nails into his palms. “They’re going to murder him – they tried before and you’re just abandoning–”

Harry disapparated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So things have ramped up a little. And also I nearly forgot to publish because I thought I was mentally stable enough to do this and I was - I am very much not. So Thursdays are gonna be hit and miss because I am unstable as fuck.
> 
> Thanks for reading  
> Kudos and comments much appreciated  
> Twitter: @evie_adams273
> 
> Black Lives Matter  
> Fuck TERFs  
> Fuck Sia


	9. Safety Is Only Ever An Illusion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: torture of a child (yes things get very dark)
> 
> Content Warning: Argument between parent and child

Albus wrenched himself free of his dad’s grip when they materialised on solid ground. It took him a moment to register that they were stood outside the Potter house, facing one-another in the half-light. Harry held out his hand and beckoned Albus inside. Albus didn’t move.

“You should come in,” Harry said. “You’ve been through–”

“I told you to go after him!” Albus screamed. “I told you to save him!”

Albus lunged to take his wand back from his father, with every intention of disappearing and starting to comb every inch of the country for Scorpius. It didn’t matter if he didn’t know where the Caverns were. He would find them and he would find Scorpius. Harry dodged Albus’ lunge, however, grabbing his arm and twisting it so that Albus stopped moving.

“You need to calm down.”

“Do you know what you’ve abandoned him to?” Albus continued shouting.

He didn’t bother controlling his temper. After everything, every single fucking precaution they’d taken to avoid ending up in exactly this situation, Scorpius had still been captured, and there was the very real possibility that he had already been killed. He would receive no lenience or second chance this time. They would kill him, and they would make sure they had done it properly.

All of the hiding and laying low and struggling to get by, on some occasions, because they couldn’t get Scorpius an official job – all of it had been for nothing because it was over now. Maybe they should have seen it coming, seen it as an inevitability, but Albus didn’t believe that.

If it had been inevitable, it would have occurred sooner. There would have been an attack on the Hospital when the word had gotten out. That was another thing. How had they known? How had they known that Scorpius had survived and, more importantly, where he was?

“Albus–”

“The Dementors wouldn’t have kissed me!” Albus started to cry. “You should have gone after him.”

“Albus!” Harry’s shout caught him off-guard. “Come inside.”

Albus wrenched himself free of his dad’s grip for a second time, but he followed him inside. He ignored his mother in the hallway, and the fact that she had heard the entire exchange. Albus didn’t care. He needed to get out as quickly as possible. He could go back to the flat and start finding a way back to Scorpius.

“Sit down,” Harry said, upon entering the kitchen.

Albus chose to lean against the worksurface which, combined with his lack of shouting, seemed to be enough to satisfy his dad.

“Dementors are never fully controlled,” Harry said. “If they were sent after Scorpius–”

“They were.”

“There is no way to stop them from going after you once they’d achieved their objective. You are my son. Protecting you will always be my priority. If they’d sent a person, maybe I would have been able to tail them, but they didn’t.”

“What do you mean if? Were you tracking us?”

“We were aware that there might still have been a threat.”

“So why didn’t you tell us? Why didn’t you tell us we were being watched?”

Silence.

Albus moved through to boiling point as another thought crossed his mind. He stood up straight and breathed in deeply before looking at his father.

“Did you break your promise?”

“What do you mean?”

“Did you tell someone about Scorpius?”

“The group that he came from is a threat to national security!”

“Did you tell them?” Albus screamed.

“I let his location slip to a darker contact. I assumed they would send someone I could track and Scorpius would remain safe. I didn’t think–”

Albus seized the glass closest to him and lobbed it across the room. He didn’t think about what he was doing. He didn’t care if he hurt Harry Potter. He wanted to hurt him. Harry ducked and it smashed on the wall behind him. He pulled out his wand, fixing it with a sigh and turning back to Albus.

“He’s going to die because you thought it was okay to risk his life!” Albus bellowed. “You should have told us! You can’t do something like that!”

“We’ll find him–”

“Then go and look for him!”

“Keeping you safe is my priority. I am staying here until I am sure you won’t try and leave.”

“I’m an adult,” Albus stared. “You can’t stop me leaving. Give me my wand.”

“No.”

Albus picked up another glass. “Give it back to me!”

“Albus, you are acting irrationally–”

“You condemned one of the only people I love to death because of your own arrogance!” Albus shouted. “Give me back my wand!”

He threw the second glass as the kitchen door opened and his mother appeared. She whipped her wand out, freezing the glass in mid-air and bringing it back down to the ground. Harry took the moment to restrain Albus and he pulled him out of the kitchen and up the stairs.

Albus fought, kicking and screaming, every step of the way, but Harry had years of Auror experience and significantly more strength than his son and he simply continued upwards. Upon reaching Albus’ room, Harry pulled the door open and pushed his son inside.

Albus started to charge back at the door but a shield appeared, shimmering between him and his father. Albus tried to sink his fists into it.

“You are going to stay here until we know it’s safe. I’m sorry, Albus. I have to keep you safe.”

“You’re a monster,” Albus breathed out as he stumbled backwards. “You’re a corrupt monster.”

“You’re not seriously considering going after him?” Harry snapped. “You met him less than a year ago and suddenly this random boy has taken over your life?”

“He’s not a random boy!” Albus was screaming again. “He is the first person who had ever seen me for who I am and not spread that secret at my expense. He’s the only person I would ever consider giving everything up for. And I think that you’ll agree with me when I say that helping to save a person’s life will increase your bond somewhat. Or have you forgotten everything you went through at school?”

Harry slammed the door.

* * *

The first reason Scorpius panicked upon waking was his lack of memory on how he had ended up there. He lay in a small bed situated in the corner of a large room he had never seen before. No sign of Albus, nor any sign that Albus had been in there. Scorpius looked down. He was no longer wearing the clothes he’d been wearing last time he remembered seeing Albus. They’d been walking down that path Scorpius had picked. They’d just eaten. They’d been on a date.

Everything came flooding back. The Dementors. Albus trying to reach him. The Stag Patronus. Watching Albus disappear as the Dementors carried him away.

It didn’t make sense. Albus wouldn’t have abandoned him. Albus wouldn’t do that, even with Dementors involved. Which meant he had been taken away too, and he might be in the same amount of danger, if not more, than Scorpius assumed he was.

Scorpius tried to shake the thought. He couldn’t focus on Albus while he was still under threat. He had to get himself to safety and go back for Albus. He needed to control the situation.

He started to pull the blanket back, attempting to stand up only to find his legs wouldn’t move. His heart started to race as he tried to move the lower half of his body in some way. Nothing worked. As the panic swelled in the centre of his chest, the door at the other end of the room clicked open and a woman stepped in.

She smiled at him as she shut the door. Scorpius stared at her, fascinated by every movement she made. Her aura went beyond any definition of intimidating and yet she looked ordinary. She had long silvery-grey hair, tipped through with blue that she had matched her eyeshadow with. Her hair hung down near her waist, in contrast with the black suit she worse, and she leant against the wall, smirking at Scorpius with a gleam that sent chills down his spine.

“Did you sleep well?”

“Who are you?” Scorpius demanded. “Why can’t I move?”

The woman laughed. “One question at a time.” Pause. “First, who am I? Well, given all your questions about who you should be scared of, I thought I would show you.”

“You run this place?” Scorpius stared.

“You think I couldn’t?”

“You’re not what I expected.”

“I never am,” the woman smirked. “I’m Delphi. I run this place because – well, the easiest way to put it is to say I inherited a birth-right from my father.”

“Your father…”

Delphi chuckled as the pieces started to slot into place. She stood up and dusted her hands off before drawing closer and inspecting her nails with a quiet sigh. She perched beside Scorpius on the bed.

“You were so naïve,” she smiled. “It really was adorable.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You really think I would let someone – especially someone like you – leave without tailing you? No, I knew about Albus from the beginning.”

“So why did you let me carry on going out?”

“Because he’s Albus Potter,” Delphi grinned. “Getting him involved works perfectly with my plans. In fact, that was the very reason I suggested your father take you to that clifftop.”

“You caused it all.”

“I did. I must say, I was very pleased when I found out you had survived. I thought your darling boyfriend hadn’t managed to save you. Really messed things up. But it turns out you pulled through, so here we are.”

“Whatever you’re planning, I’m not cooperating,” Scorpius snapped. “Albus doesn’t know where I am anyway. Someone took him.”

“His father took him, so I have no doubt that he’ll be along soon enough.”

“I won’t let you hurt him.”

“I won’t have to hurt him.” Silence. “You’re doing that for me.”

Scorpius didn’t say anything. He knew what he could say, and which bits of that wouldn’t make a difference. He had heard all of the rebuttals leave his mouth previously, and that had gotten his mother killed. So he would remain quiet this time. He would work his way out of the situation when it came to it.

Delphi smirked at him and his blood ran cold. She stood up, walking back to the door and pulling it open. She held out her hand to something Scorpius couldn’t see and pulled in a short figure. She shut the door again, locking it.

Scorpius’ stomach dropped as he saw his sister hovering behind Delphi, staring at Scorpius. She had lost weight, every shadow on her face a hundred times more pronounced. She had a few scrapes on her head, but her eyes still sparkled. Scorpius found that he could now stand and he rushed across the room, scooping Ana up in his arms. She clung onto him, sobbing into his shoulder as he whispered to her again and again and again about how it would all be okay.

Except he didn’t believe himself when he said it. How was he supposed to believe himself when he was looking at the woman who had ordered his mother’s death. The woman who had orchestrated so much of his life. The woman with a smirk that implied that she knew what you were thinking. She probably did.

“Here’s what makes you such an easy target,” she pulled Ana away from her brother. “I don’t even need to bother reading your mind. You’re that predictable.”

“Isn’t she your Malfoy heir? Don’t you need her?”

“Not necessarily. After all, if this works in my favour, I won’t be needing anything as common as a bloodline descendant. Really, Ana was your grandfather’s obsession, not mine.”

Scorpius didn’t say anything. She had more things to say. She would continue when she felt like it.

“So really, the question I want to ask is, who do you love more? Your sister or your boyfriend?”

“I’m not going to help you.”

Scorpius fought his every instinct to look at Ana. She fought Delphi’s grip, trembling. Delphi had her hand clasped over her shoulder, her nails pinching the robe fabric. She pulled out her wand and aimed it at Ana’s head. Scorpius stopped breathing.

Delphi wouldn’t kill her. Not yet. If she had been trying to scare Scorpius through murder, she would have killed his father first. It was public knowledge which of them he cared about more. So Ana wouldn’t die. But–

Ana’s screams filled the room. She collapsed to her knees and then to the floor as she shook and sobbed with pain. She kept tearing at her hair as if trying to rip the pain out of her body. Scorpius fought to get closer to her but he had lost power over movement again. He covered his ears, trying to block out the sound.

“Stop!” he bellowed. “Please just stop.”

Delphi didn’t stop and Ana kept screaming and writhing and pleading with Delphi as she laughed. Scorpius kept fighting the charms on his body, desperate to get to Ana, to get between them if he had to. Except he couldn’t move.

Delphi stopped eventually, kicking Ana as she lay in a ball on the floor. She whimpered again and Scorpius held his breath. He had to get Ana out.

Ana started to scream again.

“I’ll help you!” Scorpius’ voice cracked as he yelled. “Stop hurting her! I’ll help you.”

Delphi stopped, throwing a sickening smile in his direction as she helped Ana to her feet. Ana tried to get to Scorpius but Delphi held fast, walking Ana back to the door and pushing her through. Scorpius watched them both disappear and he heard the lock click shut. He drew his knees up to his chest, starting to cry. If Albus turned up, when Albus turned up, he would have to make this choice again. This choice between Ana and Albus. And he knew who he would end up choosing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloo I keep forgetting to prep publishing but I did write 36193 words of my WIP last week so I think I can live with doing this twenty minutes before school starts. Between the research spots about whether vampires have blood (still taking suggestions for that one).  
> Watch me now get very disappointed at the time it takes me to finish a chapter now that I have written 4-5 in a week.
> 
> Thanks for reading  
> Kudos and comments much appreciated  
> Twitter: @evie_adams273
> 
> Black Lives Matter  
> Fuck TERFs  
> Fuck Sia


	10. Complete And Utter Dissent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Minor injury
> 
> Content Warning: More arguments

Lily had three fights with her dad in the ensuing twenty-four hours. James had four. Ginny stopped talking to him. Unfortunately, it seemed that the charm on Albus’ door and window (they had checked) was only undoable by Harry, meaning that he had simply doubled down on his position and claimed this his actions were justified.

Lily ignored all of the summer homework she had planned to get out the way in the first week of the holidays, instead devoting her attention to the legality of what her father had done. She didn’t care if he lost his job. Doing something like this meant he didn’t deserve to keep it.

No one had heard from Albus after the first hour or so, where it seemed as if he had been trying to break through his bedroom with his fists. His swearing and shouting had moved through towards shouting, and after that, he had quietened. No one had heard from him as they rolled into the second evening.

Lily pushed Albus’ bedroom door open with one hand, a plate and glass balanced in the other. She waited in the doorway. He lay in bed, duvet pulled up over his head, but he pulled himself up to look at Lily. He returned to staring at the opposite wall.

“I’m not hungry.”

“Can I come over?”

“Don’t know why you’d want to.”

Lily shut the door behind herself, perching on the edge of Albus’ bed. She put the plate down next to her and held onto the glass.

“I know you’re really scared,” she murmured. “I know you. You’re a mess. But you have to eat.”

Albus pushed the duvet back again, staring at the ceiling with a sigh. “I don’t need to eat.”

“We’re working on something,” Lily whispered. “James and I are going to get you out of here somehow. But we don’t know when. So please eat something. You need to be ready to go at any point.”

“How do I know you’re not lying?”

“Because everyone else in the house is very close to killing him. He’s a monster.”

Silence.

“Please, Albus. We’re going to get you out of here. We’re going to save Scorpius. There’s no way that we’re saving him from that fucking curse only for him to die now.”

Albus sat up, a small smile playing on his lips. He reached for the plate with a nod, and then took the glass and placed it on his bedside table.

“You promise?”

“I promise.”

* * *

Lily sat down in the kitchen about twenty minutes later, resting her head against the table and breathing in and out. At least Albus had eaten something. She could carry on working out how to break the charm on the door in a few minutes time. Her dad would be going back to work soon.

She sat up again at a knock at the door, hurrying through to open it and coming to a stop as she did so. A man and a child stood on the porch, hand in hand. The girl had cuts and bruises all over her face, and her hands were shaking in a movement that seemed to be spreading to her shoulders. Dirt strung through her blonde hair, falling off every so often. The man had the same blond hair, braided down the back of his head. He had a larger wound, stretching into his hairline, but he seemed unbothered.

“Draco Malfoy,” Lily bit her lip.

She didn’t know how to process this. Draco Malfoy and a little girl – Lily assumed she was Scorpius’ sister – stood on their porch in the middle of the night. Both injured. Both in need of help. And both at risk of every form of wrath if Harry Potter caught them.

To hell with that.

“Come in,” Lily stood out the way. “Quickly.”

“I’m sorry we–”

“No apologies. Kitchen, so that I’ve got a little more footing to deal with what this will turn into.”

Draco nodded and Lily led them through to the kitchen. She met James on the way, catching him as he came down the stairs. He stopped, staring with much the same expression Lily assumed she’d had.

“You know that plan we talked about?” she muttered. “The one to enact at a moment’s notice?”

“Yes?”

“Time to enact it.”

James nodded again, turning around and heading back upstairs. Lily smiled, finishing the journey to the kitchen and directing both Draco and the girl to sit down. She made her way to the designated medical cupboard and glanced back at the two of them. From the looks of it, neither needed potions. Most of the wounds were superficial, and the girl was not in need of a Calming Draught yet. Thank Merlin Lily was eighteen and the Trace was long gone.

Lily took some of the wipes out and closed the cupboard again. She picked up her wand from the side to direct the kettle to begin boiling whatever water it had left, whereupon she made her way back to the table. She went to Draco first; he waved her away.

“Anastasia first. Please.”

Lily nodded, turning her attention to the girl. She had fixed her gaze on a knot of wood at the edge of the table, her whole upper body now shaking in some way. The cuts on her face had begun to scab over.

“Can I see those?” Lily spoke softly, lowering her wand and crouching down on the floor.

Anastasia flinched and looked at her with a solemn nod. She looked away soon after, the look having taken more effort than she’d let on. Lily brushed Anastasia’s hair away from her face and begun to wipe the dirt from the edges of the cuts. Anastasia flinched again, but she didn’t pull away.

“I’m Lily,” Lily murmured.

“Ana.”

“That’s a really nice name. Do you want some tea when I’ve finished?”

“What?”

“Or I can try and make some hot chocolate. There’s some at the back of the cupboard.” Ana didn’t say anything. “It’s okay if you don’t want anything.”

Ana remained silent and Lily finished dealing with her wounds. She squeezed her eyes shut when Lily reached for her wand, at which point Lily stopped and made sure Ana was okay with her using magic to heal her cuts. Ana nodded, keeping her eyes closed. Lily healed everything as quickly as she could and then she smiled and said a quick ‘done.’

As she had finished healing, a white scar had revealed itself down the centre of Ana’s face. It looked old, and Lily had no intention of asking about it, but it sent a nauseous feeling to the pit of her stomach.

Lily turned her attention to Draco, wincing inwardly at the fact that he looked much worse than he had when she had last looked at him. The blood dripping off his chin really didn’t do him any favours.

“You’re okay with me using magic?” Lily stood up.

“Yes,” Draco tried to nod. “I’m sorry. This can’t be – ideal.”

“No apologies. I know why you’re here and I can assure you the majority of us are on your side.”

She mopped up the blood from Draco’s face, breathing a little easier once it was obvious the wound was not nearly as serious as it had first appeared to be. She healed it with a few simple charms, sliding her wand into her pocket and going back to the kettle.

The kitchen door opened. Lily looked up to see her parents walk in and register the situation. Her mother moved from shock to acceptance and understand, but it was her father’s reaction that concerned her: when his shock turned to anger, it moved up to fury.

“Before you shout,” Lily smiled, “Draco, would you like me to take Ana through to the living room?”

“Yes, thank you,” Draco nodded. “Ana, go with Lily. She’ll look after you while I talk to Mr Potter about Scorpius.”

Ana stood up, letting Lily take her hand and walking quickly past Harry and Ginny. Lily closed the kitchen door as she waited for the shouting to ensue. James appeared on the stairs as they passed.

“You’ve got his wand?” Lily asked.

“Yes. Are you going to get him out?”

“I will. Please explain – try – to Draco. And tell him Ana will be okay. I’ll look after her. And our father has basic compassion. Somewhere.”

James nodded, heading off towards the kitchen, where the voices had started to rise. Lily and Ana kept walking. They passed through the dining room to reach the lounge and sit Ana down on the sofa.

“What’s going on?” Ana mumbled.

“My brothers are going to go with your dad and rescue Scorpius.”

Ana’s eyes widened. “You know Scorpius?”

“I do,” Lily nodded. “He lived here for a few months.”

Ana looked as if she wanted to say something, until her bottom lip quivered and she burst into tears. Lily knelt down beside her to pull her into a hug and rock her back and forth with small reassurances.

“I know you’re scared,” Lily whispered. “But it’s going to be okay. They’re going to make sure he’s okay, and they’ll come back safe.”

Lily hated making empty promises. She had no impact on whether her brothers and Draco would come back ‘safe’. At most, she could hope they made it back alive. It didn’t take a genius to understand what sort of fight they would be walking into. Lily was only on board with it because Scorpius was already there and she knew Albus and Draco would both do anything to get back to him and keep him safe.

However, Lily had also seen Draco and Ana on the doorstep. She wasn’t stupid. She knew what the aftermath of a Cruciatus Curse looked like. Supposedly, Ana was ‘valuable’. What did they do to people who weren’t considered as such?

Maybe James going was a bad idea. Or Albus. Maybe handing them two Potter siblings was a really awful idea. Still, it had been set in motion now. Lily couldn’t stop it. She just had to hope with every fibre of her being. Hope that her family came back alive.

“And you’re looking after me?” Ana’s words snapped her back to the present.

“I am. No one is going to make you leave, and if they try, I won’t let them. I’m going to keep you safe.”

Lily glanced up as James appeared at the door, nodding. She nodded back.

“I have to go upstairs for a moment,” she murmured. “There’s going to be a bit of an explosion, but I promise everything is okay. Then I’ll come straight back and I won’t let them shout at me while you’re here. Okay?”

“Can I read one of those?” Ana pointed at the bookshelf.

“Of course,” Lily nodded.

She took off in the other direction, sprinting past James and up the stairs. She didn’t bother knocking on Albus’ door and she grabbed his shoes and threw them across the room at him.

“What – Lily – what?” he caught them.

“Put them on and keep away from that wall.”

“What are you doing?”

“Getting you out. Take the back stairs. James and Draco are waiting in the kitchen with your wand.”

“Draco?”

“He and Ana turned up. Neither of them look great but Scorpius isn’t with them so I’m assuming he’s up for going back.”

“Thank you,” Albus said. “And I love you.”

“I love you too. Now let’s get going.”

Albus stood up, shoving his shoes on and grabbing a couple of jumpers. He downed the last of the food and water on his desk as Lily pulled the door closed behind her. She checked the stairs were clear before she waved her wand.

A section of Albus’ wall exploded in something that probably qualified as a little over the top, but it didn’t matter. She hadn’t blown a supporting wall and the shimmer possessed by the doorframe did not appear to have spread. Albus broke from his stare at her and hurried into the hallway. He darted past Lily and down the staircase she had suggested.

Lily ran in the other direction, taking the stairs two at a time so that she could avoid crashing into her parents on their way to investigate. She arrived back in the lounge to find Ana had curled up on the floor to read a book. She kept shivering.

“Here,” Lily grabbed a jumper that had been abandoned on the other side of the room, “do you want this?”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, absolutely.”

It was only when Ana took the jumper that Lily registered it to be Scorpius’ and not James’ as she had thought. He’d left it on his last visit. Lily deflated. Ana didn’t need to know. It wouldn’t help anyone. The aim was to keep her calm for as long as the imminent argument lasted.

She sat down beside Ana, letting out a sigh as her parents appeared in the doorway. Her mother looked irritated, if still unsurprised, but she was eclipsed by Harry. He had turned a shade of red that bordered on purple and Lily wouldn’t have been shocked to see smoke coming from his ears. She stood up again.

“I’ll fix the wall, and if you’re going to get angry with me, perhaps we could have that conversation after Ana is in bed.”

“She’s staying with us?”

“Yes, I offered to look after her.”

Harry deflated, nodding. “Okay. Yes. Take her to bed. But we need to talk.”

Lily nodded, turning back to Ana and helping her to her feet. Ana had been listening to what was said.

“Bring the book if you want to.”

Ana clutched the book to her chest and followed Lily upstairs. She stumbled a little upon seeing the mess on the landing and Lily smiled. She pulled out her wand and cleared the rubble; she could look up the spells to fix it later. She pushed her bedroom door open, moving a few things she’d left out and making the bed properly.

“Do you think you’ll be okay staying in here?”

“Isn’t this your room?”

“I’ll stay in James,” Lily shrugged. “Or Albus’. It’s okay for you to stay here.”

“No one’s going to make me leave?”

“Not at all,” Lily led her to the bed and turned around to the cupboard behind her. “We’ve got room and I promised your dad I’d look after you.”

She started rifling through the cupboard, before pulling one of the bags down from the shelf at the top. She opened it, smiling as she found an old pair of her pyjamas.

“Here,” she passed them to Ana. “This should fit.” Ana nodded, taking them and mumbling a thank you. “I have to head downstairs, but if you need me, just come and find me.”

* * *

Lily settled opposite her father at the kitchen table. Her mother hadn’t sat down. Lily glanced at the ceiling, clocking where in the house Ana was and what sort of volume they should keep the conversation to.

Her father had passed the stage of immediate fury, opting for a quieter sort of rage that seemed to manifest in the way he held his hands. Lily breathed out.

“Do you want me to start this?” she asked. “Or–”

“What the hell were you thinking?”

“That you put a man’s life in danger and then doubled down on your decision. James and I planned on how to get Albus out. We were waiting on the right moment.”

“You didn’t know Malfoy and – her – were going to show up?”

“I didn’t think anyone would be able to escape,” Lily admitted. “From what Scorpius said, especially to you, I’m surprised they made it out. Grateful, but surprised. “

“I was working out how to help Scorpius,” Harry snapped. “My department is trying to locate this – group.”

“Except you weren’t getting anywhere,” Lily pointed out. “It’s your fault his life was in danger and how are we supposed to trust that you’ll prioritise his safety? You’ve broken promises about that before. So we took matters into our own hands and when they come back with Scorpius, you can go in with your task force. Happy?”

“No.”

“Will they come back?” Ginny asked quietly.

“I – I hope so,” Lily faltered. “Maybe not safely, but they’ll come back. Eventually.”

“So you are aware they might not come back and you helped them?” Harry snapped.

“You’re trying to blame me?” Lily raised an eyebrow. “You’re trying to pin the blame on me of all people?”

“You helped them leave. You came up with the plan. Ginny?”

“No, I’m with Lily on this,” Ginny’s expression turned thunderous. “You put our son and a person he loves in unnecessary danger for a hunch that didn’t come through. You are responsible for this. If our son’s die, it will be on you.”

Harry deflated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who wrote 36193 words in their WIP and is now panicking because they don't know what to write next? Probably one shots.
> 
> Anyway I am panik. Also I have just spent 20 minutes trying to make sense of Royal mail delivery and more panik lol. However, by the time you read this I should have a watch that doesn't stop three times a day.
> 
> Update from just before posting: I have finished my WIP and the parcel got here fine. 
> 
> Thanks for reading  
> Kudos and comments much appreciated  
> Twitter: @evie_adams273
> 
> Black Lives Matter  
> Fuck JKR  
> Fuck Sia


	11. Space

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content Warning: Just general mild peril?

Albus skidded into the kitchen, catching himself on the doorframe seconds before James thrust his wand into his hand. Albus didn’t have time to process that his boyfriend’s father was stood in the middle of the room as James pulled the two of them out of the front door and across the garden.

“Where are we going?” James demanded as soon as they were on the driveway.

“The cliffs,” Draco said. “Where Scorpius used to go.”

“The entrance is there?” Albus stared.

“No, but we need to talk first.”

James nodded, grabbing both of their arms and turning on the spot. Albus held his breath and stumbled forward as they appeared on the windswept clifftop. He pushed back the thought he’d had of wanting to bring Scorpius here. Not the time. Not the place.

“First of all,” Draco said, “it’s an insignificant question but which of you is dating my son?”

“Me,” Albus said. “Is that – is it okay? With you. Not that it changes anything.”

Draco’s lips curled upwards in what might have been considered a smile. “It is okay, and now I’d like to request we put all relationship talk on hold until Scorpius is safe.”

“Do you have any sort of plan?” James asked.

“I can take us to the outer apparition boundary. From there, we walk to the Caverns, and we will get caught.”

“That’s not a plan,” James said. “I’m an Auror. I could–”

“No,” Albus interrupted. “Getting Aurors involved stops the priority being Scorpius’ life and look at where that got us last time.”

“Excuse me?” Draco raised an eyebrow.

“I’ll explain when everyone is safe,” Albus muttered. “Trust me when I say that I don’t want to set you on a warpath to murder my dad. I mean, I’ll join you, but later.”

“We have to get caught,” Draco insisted. “There is no way to do this without getting caught and getting out again.”

“If we get caught, we get separated,” James pointed out. “How are we supposed to coordinate an escape that includes Scorpius after that happens?”

“They’re trying to control him,” Draco explained. “He’ll be – around – in some way. We can work out how to escape once we’re in.”

Albus didn’t like the lack of any decent plan, but he wanted to trust Draco. He didn’t have any better ideas. They would walk into this trap. They would get caught. They would get hurt. But if they got out with Scorpius, it wouldn’t matter.

Albus would take anything they threw at him if it meant Scorpius got out alive. Even if he didn’t. He’d be willing to give it all up for Scorpius and he didn’t even know why. This boy who had stumbled into his life less than a few months ago and brought genuine light to his entirely pessimistic outlook on the world.

He owed everything he had to Scorpius. He had pulled himself out of a hole and gotten on with things because he had met Scorpius. He’d had a good year because he had met Scorpius. If that meant it ended with his death, then it didn’t seem like the end of the world. Or perhaps that was a sign that Albus had not made it anywhere close to being a ‘typical’ person in society.

Draco held out his hands, prompting Albus and James to take them in preparation for apparition.

“When we appear,” he said, “you do not say anything. You follow me. There is every chance they will find us immediately. When this happens, you have to follow my lead.”  
Albus and James nodded. Draco disapparated.

They appeared in the middle of an empty thicket. Albus did best not to stumble in the fallout and absorbed the shock into his body. He flinched, the shake travelling up his torso. Draco directed them towards a hill rising from the ground on the far side. It looked to be about two miles away.

Albus placed a hand on his wand, glancing around in an almost paranoid manner to make sure that they weren’t already being watched in an obvious way. Draco seemed calm, his pace quick but controlled. His eyes told a different story. Albus wanted to say something, but he didn’t have anything he could offer in reassurance. And Draco had told them not to talk. In theory, they couldn’t do this without being caught, but if they didn’t get caught, surely they would run with that.

Unless, it occurred to Albus, Draco was setting them up. Scorpius had never seemed particularly sure in what his father believed. Albus had to trust Lily with this, but he hadn’t seen it for himself and the blind faith would have made him very easy to trick.

Two Potter siblings walking into a place renowned for their hatred of Harry Potter was a beyond terrible idea that somehow he and James had both subscribed to with no questions asked.

Albus drifted closer to James, bumping into his brother before he properly registered that they were close enough to speak. The ground kept throwing up holes that Albus struggled to avoid.

“I don’t trust Draco,” he hissed.

“What?” James spoke a little loudly.

“What if he wants us to get caught? Scorpius always said he wasn’t sure whether his dad – cared about him. How do we know to trust him?”

“I saw him when he and Ana showed up,” James muttered. “I trust him.”

“You can’t talk,” Draco snapped from ahead.

“Do you want to get caught?” Albus stopped walking. “Because you seem very set on it and I don’t know why we trust you after you – you did what? You turned up at our house and got deemed trustworthy.”

“I don’t want to get caught. It’s an inevitability.”

“What happens if we don’t get caught? You get us caught?”

“You’re going to get us caught if you don’t shut up soon.”

Albus opened his mouth to say something else, but behind Draco, six or seven figures popped up. They all headed for them with a variety of unpleasant grins fixed on their faces. Albus reached for his wand, cursing as it disappeared from his hand and appeared in the hands of one of the women opposite.

She held power in every inch of her being. She leeched magic, in a way that meant you could almost see it erupting on her fingertips. The jet black suit, heels, and silver-blue hair stretching down her back dominated everyone around her. Combined with the maniacal grin on her face, it was unlikely that anyone would question her authority.

“Let me talk,” Draco muttered.

“Draco,” the woman smiled further, “how wonderful to see you again. It’s been – two hours? I suppose you couldn’t wait to be back.”

“You know we’re here–”

“I know why you’re here. I’m not sure why you brought two Potter siblings with you. Although it is nice to see you, Albus. You gave us quite a bit of irritation.”

“What are you talking about?”

“When you brought Scorpius back to your house on the first the night. Your little performance after the healing really made me think he’d died. You would have gotten away from us too, if it weren’t for – well,” she shook her head, “we don’t need to talk about that now, do we?”

She stopped talking as a look of concentration overtook her features. Albus held his breath, though nothing much seemed to be happening. James looked uncomfortable. Albus had a headache coming on, like someone was scraping at the inside of his head with a piece of metal.

“Oh,” the woman scoffed, “that’s very interesting.”

“What is?”

“Your suspicions about Draco.”

“Delphi,” Draco muttered, “could you not be happy with the fact that we walked into your trap and leave – that?”

“Don’t be silly,” Delphi giggled. “Why would I want to leave it?”

She waved her hand and the figures behind her moved to take Albus, James and Draco. One of the women cut past another to get to Albus, securing her grip on his arm by digging her nails into his skin.

“You stole him from me,” she snarled in his ear.

“Excuse me?”

“Scorpius was mine. He was supposed to be mine. But you stole him.”

Albus eyed the woman over his shoulder, opting for a small smile. “He never mentioned you.”

The woman’s scowl grew, her nails somehow digging deeper in response. Albus tried not to flinch.

“Stop baiting him, Kaylee darling,” Delphi rolled her eyes. “There are bigger things at stake here than your ridiculous obsession with having a love life.”

Kaylee opened her mouth, possibly to object, but after another look from Delphi, she nodded and relaxed her grip so that Albus no longer felt his skin might split open from the pressure. Delphi grinned across the group and nodded. Albus held his breath as they disapparated and appeared in the centre of a large cavern that had around fifty to a hundred people moving across it. The ceiling sat about twenty feet above, carved from stone and dirt with the occasional root poking through and hanging down. Several tunnels led away into the hill and Delphi walked towards one of the smaller ones. The group followed.

Albus kept stumbling on the uneven floor; he paid no attention to where his feet landed, instead trying to memorise something of the layout so that when they attempted to escape, they would have half a chance. But there were so many people, so many Death Eaters who would all be willing to murder in a heartbeat. And they had to find Scorpius.

At least they had found the place itself. Albus doubted he would have made it this far if Draco hadn’t shown up, even if Draco had now betrayed them. They had made it this far. Albus probably wouldn’t get out again. Maybe James would.

After about five minutes of walking in the dark, constantly tripping over the roots stuck out of the floor, they emerged into another hall. This one was smaller, but a hundred times more grand. The walls looked as if they had been shaped from marble, colours swirling up and down in psychedelic patterns that framed the chair at the focal point of the room.

The floor looked polished, wooden slats gleaming the reflections from the crystal chandelier in the centre of the ceiling. In a few places, the floor was stained a suspect shade of red-brown, but Albus tried to ignore that. Instead, his gaze landed on the person stood in the centre of the room.

The black suit that Scorpius wore made him look ghostlike. It paled his skin beyond belief, clinging to his figure and emphasising every ounce of weight that he hadn’t quite managed to put back on yet. The shadows on his face seemed as if they had been over-dramatized, what with the bags under his eyes being all too obvious.

He didn’t smile when he laid eyes on Albus, turning away and shoving his hands into his pockets with an audible sigh. Albus gasped in pain as Kaylee pushed him to his knees and placed a hand on his shoulder. Albus didn’t understand how she kept her nails so sharp.

Delphi strode across the room, her heels matching her height to Scorpius, and she placed a hand over his shoulder. He looked up, smiling at her and looking back at Albus and James. James knelt a few feet away from Albus, putting up a little more of a fight than Albus was. Draco had been led to stand behind Scorpius and Delphi, hovering near the dais with the people who had escorted him in. Albus threw him a glare.

“You decided to come back,” Scorpius started to speak.

He sounded, to all intents and purposes, as if he was trying to appear intimidating, but the effect of it disappeared when combined with a shaking voice and knees that looked seconds from giving way.

“We came back for you,” Albus smiled.

Scorpius looked close to tears. “W-Why did you bother?”

Albus didn’t know how to make this easier for Scorpius. He knew what had happened, how they were controlling him, to some extent, but he couldn’t think of any option, other than becoming a doormat, and that would not get any information across. Delphi came up behind Scorpius again, taking his hand and murmuring in his ear. He nodded and walked across to Albus. Albus smiled when he crouched in front of him. Something small and soft and enough to say that he understood whatever happened next.

Scorpius leant into him, so that his lips hovered beside his ear. “I’m sorry,” he breathed. And then, at a volume audible to the rest of the room. “I never loved you.”

Albus wasn’t prepared for the slap across the face and he collapsed across the floor, holding his hand to his cheek. It didn’t hurt nearly as much as he played it up to, but he had people to appease. Monsters to win over.

Delphi started to laugh, the cackles echoing off the walls to be followed by her squeals of joy. Kaylee pulled Albus back to his knees and Albus kept up the grimace as he looked around wildly. James had started to fight his captors, and was now being restrained by multiple people.

“They haven’t got Ana!” he bellowed. “Scorpius! They haven’t–”

A gag appeared in his mouth, courtesy of Delphi, but the message had been delivered. Albus looked back at Scorpius to see that he was starting to reach for his wand. Albus relaxed for about three seconds before he crashed his weight into Kaylee’s legs and jumped to his feet. He sprinted across the room to Scorpius, moving when Scorpius shoved him behind and turning to make sure they were covered on all sides. He couldn’t do magic, but he could do – something? James was shouting again, which meant he’d broken through the gag or Scorpius had done it for him.

“Is it true?” Scorpius hissed. “Is she safe?”

“It’s true,” Albus replied. “My dad will protect her if anything happens.”

“I love you,” Scorpius said. “Whatever happens–”

“I love you too,” Albus half-shouted back as he saw someone aim their wand at him.

Seconds later, the world turned to spirals, and then to darkness.

* * *

Scorpius didn’t fight as he was pulled back down the corridors towards his old room. The moment Albus had gone down, it had been a done deal. He’d been too preoccupied with making sure Albus was alive to fight back.

Delphi slammed the door as she stormed into the room, pulling her wand from her pocket and rolling it between her fingers. Scorpius dropped his own wand on the floor and backed away. She laughed.

“You’re learning the rules.”

“Ana isn’t here,” Scorpius said. “You don’t have her. I won’t hurt Albus.”

“Ana isn’t here,” Delphi admitted, “but there are other ways around that. We don’t need her. She’s safe – for the time being.”

Scorpius paused. “You aren’t going after her?”

“Not for now,” Delphi said. “After all, we have other ways of controlling you. Less satisfying, but they’re probably a little more effective.”

Scorpius back away again, flinching as he collided with his bed and landed on the mattress. Delphi walked over, settling beside him. She placed a hand on his knee and he held his breath. If he didn’t fight her, it would keep her wrath away from Albus.

This was about protecting Albus. Albus and James had come here for him, so he would protect them. And work out his dad’s part in this.

Delphi started playing with her wand again, turning it over in her hands again and again until she looked at Scorpius again.

“I hope you know, Scorpius,” she said softly, “you’re not the one with power here.”

“At the moment,” Scorpius shrugged. “Time can change.”

Delphi laughed, raising the wand to his temple. “We always have a way to control you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had another idea so now I have another WIP. I will probably finish it in the next two weeks? I've got no idea what's going to happen when school starts again because my routine will go zoom again.
> 
> Thanks for reading  
> Kudos and Comments much appreciated  
> Twitter: @evie_adams273
> 
> Black Lives Matter  
> Fuck TERFs  
> Fuck Sia (thank god she didn't win any Golden Globes)


	12. Twenty Eight Years

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Torture

If Albus curled his knees up to his chest, he could lie on the floor without the risk of having his legs broken by an aggressively-opened door. He had woken up with a bad cramp several times, but he also had just enough room to walk it off. The first time, he had tried his luck with getting out, but the door was indeed locked. His eyes adjusted to what little light seeped in underneath the door and eventually drew the conclusion that he would not be able to get out without help.

When he couldn’t sleep anymore, he curled into a ball and attempted to conserve heat in the corner. Hunger had started to catch up with him, but it would pass soon. It always did. At the very least, Ana was safe. Lily would look after her and if there was some sort of threat, Harry Potter would step in. He’d do the bare minimum.

Albus let out a short laugh at the irony of the situation. Scorpius had only ended up in this position because Harry had tried to prioritise his son, and now both his sons had been captured. And would probably die.

The idea that these events might lead to his death didn’t feel entirely real to Albus yet. It wasn’t that he didn’t understand the severity of the situation or thought that someone would swoop in and rescue them. Simply that he was twenty and death had always been a far off thought. He couldn’t face it now. The idea wouldn’t settle in his head.

Albus cringed as the door swung open and a figure strode into the room. They didn’t manage to get very far, but they still pulled Albus to his feet and led him out into the corridor again.

The light levels in the tunnels varied widely, and the more stray roots Albus tripped over, the darker it seemed to be. They walked in silence, back through the main cavern and towards the smaller hall.

There were fewer people inside today. Scorpius and Delphi stood near the dais, talking quietly to one another. Delphi had changed somewhat from the suit, having apparently opted for a very long, bordering on formal evening dress. Her hair had been slicked back into the tightest bun Albus had ever seen. She looked up when Albus appeared, grinning at him with a near-demonic smile. Scorpius didn’t look up. He hadn’t even reacted to Albus entering the room.

Albus’ escort shoved him into the floor and walked away. Albus didn’t get a chance to stand up before Scorpius approached him, cocking his head as if Albus was a specimen for examination. Albus tried not to panic, instead devoting his energy to working out what had happened to Scorpius since they had last met.

He was wearing much the same thing, though it seemed to suit him a little better. He held himself higher, looked more confident. He didn’t appear to have been injured, but Albus still panicked when their eyes met. He couldn’t see the light.

Scorpius always had a light in his eyes. Even when he had been at his worst, he’d had a sparkle left in his eyes. That was gone now. It had been replaced by a sheen, a glaze that Albus couldn’t work out a cause for.

“I didn’t mean it yesterday,” Scorpius said. “I do today.” Pause. “I never loved you.”

No physical pain. No slap across the face. Just the pure conviction in Scorpius’ words as he walked away.

“I mean really, the most attractive thing about you is your surname and the power that it could wield. Your brother would have sufficed equally, though perhaps not your sister, what with her still being at school.”

“What do you actually want?” Albus snapped in Delphi’s direction.

He refused to send it to Scorpius yet. He didn’t know what had happened to his boyfriend, but he would not get angry until he could be more sure of what was going on. He had someone to villainise anyway. He could be much more sure of her intent.

“I want you to feel pain,” Scorpius smirked, “and she gave me the ability to make it happen.”

Albus didn’t respond, watching Scorpius stalk across the room to where Delphi stood. She pulled something from her belt and handed it to Scorpius. He examined it and started to make his way back to where Albus sat. The gleam of the knife appeared as Scorpius walked beneath the chandelier, sending some of the light into Albus’ eyes. He tried not to wince. Scorpius crouched in front of him and dragged the dagger along Albus’ jawline with a small smile. Albus moved away from the point, not meeting Scorpius’ eyes as his skin started to open up beneath the blade. It stung.

“Is this you causing me pain?” Albus muttered with a small smirk. “Doesn’t really hurt.”

Scorpius dropped the knife with a snarl, kicking it onto the corner and pulling out his wand. He jabbed it into Albus’ temple and closed his eyes.

Albus had read descriptions of the Cruciatus Curse. They all had, as part of their Hogwarts education. He’d read about the various types of pain, the various after-effects, and other things deemed necessary but appropriate. Still, nothing could prepare him for the sheer level of agony that crashed over him in the next few seconds.

The pain exploded through his head first, most concentrated where Scorpius’ wand had been before Albus had half-thrown himself away from it. The pain spread down the back of his neck and through the spine, as if his body had started to split down the middle and tear itself in two.

Albus screamed, kept screaming until his throat joined the feeling of ripping flesh. But he kept screaming because he couldn’t find any other outlet and any other distraction from exactly what was going on.

Scorpius was doing this. Something had happened, but Scorpius was still the one causing him this level of pain. No. No. Not Scorpius. None of it made proper sense if Scorpius was still himself. Even ignoring his glazed eyes and sudden change in confidence levels, his speech patterns were different. Scorpius had always been uncomfortable at the sight of blood. Scorpius had refused to use this curse, to the point where it had gotten his mother killed. In what world would he use it now?

Or…

In what world would he have kept up an act for a year?

Albus curled in on himself with a sob as most of the pain subsided to leave him with the faint remnants of shaking limbs and aching – aching everything. Scorpius’ footsteps echoed across the hall and Albus cried out again, his throat hoarse, when Scorpius kicked him in the stomach.

He just wanted it to stop. He wanted to pass out or have his memory wiped so that this moment of Scorpius hurting him wouldn’t be burned into his head for the rest of eternity. He didn’t know why his brain didn’t black out. The human brain did that, didn’t it? Or maybe he’d misinterpreted one of Lily’s Healing notes as she’d shouted it across the house.

Not that it mattered anymore. Either they would stop or he would die. Albus didn’t particularly care which it was now. He had no control left.

He wouldn’t get the goodbyes he’d wanted with his siblings. He wouldn’t get anywhere with a career that he’d not really had in the first place. He wouldn’t get all the life experiences deemed ‘good’ by society because he had fallen for a lie who didn’t give a damn about him. Or maybe it was an Imperious Curse.

It didn’t matter anymore and Albus couldn’t find the strength to make himself care. So he didn’t respond to Scorpius’ words. He didn’t react to the knives stuck in against his throat. He let it happen and hoped it would stop eventually.

* * *

Albus turned around as Delphi entered the room with a candle and a near-maniacal grin fixed on her face. Albus flew at her, a half-planned attack formulating in his mind. Delphi caught it, whipping out her dagger and pressing it against his throat. He stopped. She laughed, tracing the edge of his face and the back of his head with the blade.

When she let go, Albus collapsed onto the floor, pushing himself against the back wall and letting his eyes drift closed as Delphi settled on the floor opposite him.

“What did you do to Scorpius?” Albus sighed.

Delphi seemed to adopt the manner of some sort of teacher. “What do you think I did?”

“I think you’re controlling him. You’re using an Imperious Curse. He wasn’t pretending for our relationship. You wouldn’t have nearly killed him for realism.”

“I’m not controlling his actions,” Delphi grinned. “You’re right that it’s an Imperious Curse, but all I’ve done is make him hate you. All of these things he’s doing, he’s always had the potential to do.”

“No,” Albus immediately regretted shaking his head. “Scorpius doesn’t hate people like that.”

“He does now.”

Albus expected Delphi to move closer, to try and continue the previous torment, but she seemed content playing with the dagger in her hands. She kept running it underneath her fingernails, unconcerned by the occasional drop of blood that landed in her lap.

“I’m very grateful we found you,” she said conversationally. “You and your – Potter-ness – have made this much easier. And your brother coming with you? I couldn’t believe our luck.”

Albus lunged at Delphi. “If you hurt him–”

“We have no plans to harm your brother until you’re long dead,” Delphi laughed.

Albus didn’t say anything. She would explain what she wanted to say and he didn’t need to prompt someone who seemed to have such a ridiculous superiority complex that she would be willing to reveal her entire plan to him.

“If you control the Potter family,” Delphi continued, “You have the potential to control the world.”

“You don’t control us.”

“Not yet, but use your brain. I know it’s there somewhere.” Pause. “Who is the black sheep of the family? Who would it sting them to lose, but it wouldn’t be the worst thing to happen? Who is expendable?”

Albus didn’t say anything. She would know he’d gotten the message. He was the outcast. He was the ‘wrong’ one. He was entirely expendable, and that made her plan predictable.

“You kill me and use that to threaten my parents with James.”

“Good boy.”

“Seem like an awfully convoluted plan relying on a lot of luck.”

“It wasn’t luck.”

“Well, it relied on me meeting Scorpius and–”

“And why do you think that happened?”

Albus stared at Delphi, heart beginning to pound out of his chest. If he hadn’t been beyond exhausted, the panic would have been physically overwhelming, but instead he just kept his gaze fixed on the woman on the other side of the room. Mainly he just didn’t want to be sick at the sight of her expression.

“Why do you think that you and Scorpius just happened to end up on that cliff top? Why do you think he came out when you were there? Why do you think he managed to get out two days in a row?”

“You knew,” Albus breathed out. “You knew the whole time.”

“Sweetie,” Delphi simpered, “I was there. This plan was twenty-eight years in development. I wasn’t going to let you fuck it up.”

“Did you make him fall in love with me?”

“No,” Delphi admitted. “That bit was luck, extraordinary luck. I like to think of it as an added bonus in this unstable world.”

“You’re a monster,” Albus muttered. “You can’t play with people like this. You’re destroying lives.”

Delphi grinned again, a smile so wolf-like that Albus’ stomach squirmed at the sight of it. She shuffled across to him, sitting up against the wall and taking his hand. She started to examine it, running the knife across the lines in his palm. Albus looked away.

“Three things that you should know,” she giggled. “I am a monster. I can play with people like this. And I think that destroying the lives of two families is justified when it will bring so many people back into the light.”

Albus hissed in pain as the blade nicked his skin and the blood started to pool in his palm. Delphi smiled, putting the dagger away and pressing Albus’ hand into a fist. He screwed up his face in an attempt not to let on exactly how much it hurt. Not that it really mattered. Delphi could see through all of it. She knew what effect it had. She knew how hard he was trying to hide it.

One big game of cat and mouse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep forgetting to edit on Sundays and Wednesdays lol hahaha...but also shit gonna go down soon...lol
> 
> I don't really know what's going on.
> 
> Thanks for reading  
> Kudos and comments appreciated  
> Twitter: @evie_adams273
> 
> Black Lives Matter  
> Fuck Sia (go and read the review of Music by the @the.autisticats)  
> Fuck TERFs


	13. It's All In Your Head

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings: Reference to suicide and planning a suicide, Description of Death, Stabbing
> 
> Content Warnings: Nightmares, In-depth descriptions of chronic condition, Grief

Albus is dragged into the hall, on what Scorpius expects to be the fourth consecutive day of letting Albus know how hated he is. He is dropped in the middle of the floor and sinks, not even managing to raise his head to look at Delphi and Scorpius. Two days without food or proper sleep had an effect, it would appear. Scorpius doesn’t approach him today, knowing that Delphi had other plans in mind. She hasn’t told him as such. He just knows what she’s thinking.

And sure enough, she pockets her wand with a sigh, looks at Scorpius, and then at Albus. She smiles. Scorpius steps closer to her, waiting for the teaching she will impart today. She’s always so full of wisdom, and Albus’ utter helplessness is starting to irritate him a little.

He has grown used to Albus fighting back or, at the very least, snapping back. It’s fun,, watching his spirit dissipate over the course of a few hours, knowing that he’ll be renewed next time Scorpius sees him.

Delphi doesn’t let him go to Albus today. putting a hand on his and taking his wand. She leads him across to the dais and settles on the steps.

“We’ve got something new to try today,” she smiles. “I feel like the Cruciatus Curse is getting a little old.”

“You’re getting bored already?” Scorpius smirks. “I thought you’d give this a few days more at least.”

“He’ll die soon,” Delphi shrugs. “I want to do this while he’s still conscious. And it’s a good teaching moment.”

She stands again, patting Scorpius’ leg before she crosses back to Albus. She pulls his head up and fluffs a hand through his hair as she straightens up again. She glances back at Scorpius.”

“You know how to get inside someone’s head, don’t you?”

“I do.”

“Any Occlumency he had will be long gone now. We can get inside his head, and you tend to find that there is very little more fun than exploiting a person’s worst fear.”  
Scorpius stands, edging closer with almost animalistic interest. “How do you do that?”

Delphi waves her hand gently and Albus tenses, pulled up by some sort of invisible string. He starts to shake, grasping at his head and clawing around his eyes as if he were in pain. Delphi laughs when he starts to try and get to her, choking out words to beg her to stop whatever she’s doing.

Scorpius smiles. He has some recollection of what this feels like, what Delphi’s claws do to the inside of a person’s head. The idea that Albus feels it now, but worse than he would have ever had it, makes his stomach fill with the sort of anxious excitement he’s come to love in the last week.

Delphi continues to root around in Albus’ head, murmuring instructions as she does so, and causing Albus more and more pain as the time moves on. Delphi’s fingers tense in a claw-like fashion until Albus stills, half held in the air.

“You’ll know when you’ve found their worst fear,” Delphi grins and Albus collapses on the floor. “It’s always the thing they try their hardest to hide.”

* * *

Albus woke up in the cell, half of his brain focussed on a very fresh memory and trying to determine if it was a dream or something that had happened and now felt very fuzzy. It was probably just a nightmare. All he could remember was Delphi and Scorpius, and pain in his head. So nothing new.

The door opened and Albus rolled his eyes, surprised that he had the energy to do so. Instead of the normal escort, or Kaylee, Draco Malfoy stood in the doorway, in the sort of robes that seemed befitting of him. Tight. Formal. Long cloak. Almost the perfect way to personify evil through clothing choices. Supposedly that was what was being implied.

“Stand up,” he boomed. “I’m not dragging you.”

“Where are we going?”

“I’ve found you a way out.”

Albus raised his head, pulling himself to his feet and trying not to stumble into the wall as he followed Draco down the corridors. They were all strangely void of people, but Albus didn’t complain. It was nice to not be shoved across the roots and laughed at for stumbling, for once. Draco led him down several smaller passages, choosing the routes Albus assumed to be rarely used. Certainly, they had that sort of look. The dirt under their feet started to turn to rock, slippery and harder to keep his balance. Albus tripped several times to keep up with Draco, who simply sniffed and didn’t wait.

They emerged into a huge cavern, lit solely by a hole in the ceiling, through which light descended to reflect off the huge pool of water. Albus stared at the sunlight, so distracted by seeing the sky for the first time in days he didn’t immediately register the person stood at the water’s edge.

When he did, his stomach lurched. James looked awful. The bruises stood purple against his skin and his cheekbones had become impossibly gaunt. His hands were tied in front of him and he met Albus’ gaze with a sort of tragic understanding. So much for Delphi’s claims.

“What’s going on?” Albus turned to Draco.

“You have a way out,” Draco smiled. “You just have to do something small first.”

“Do what?”

Draco pulled a knife out from underneath his robes. “Kill him.”

Albus paused. “What the fuck?”

Draco walked over to Albus and pushed the knife into his hand. Albus stared down at it with abject disgust, and then back at Draco. Draco smirked.

“What makes you think I’d kill my brother?”

“I think you want to. It would free you and Scorpius. Would you not sacrifice James for Scorpius?”

“No?” Albus frowned. “No, I wouldn’t?”

“I think you would.”

Draco gestured towards James and Albus’ stomach lurched as the knife led his hand away from his body and pulled him across the cavern. He couldn’t let go. He kept trying but his hand seemed to be glued around the handle. He screamed, trying to rip it from his hand or pull himself in the other direction or do anything to stop himself moving towards James.

He didn’t want to hurt James. He couldn’t let himself hurt James. James was supposed to survive this. James was only here because Albus had let everything become fucked up. James was supposed to get out.

The knife dragged Albus’ feet over the wet rock, only letting him stop when he stood in front of James. James had started to plead with him and Albus let out a violent sob.

“Please,” he begged Draco, “please stop this…”

“I’m not doing anything,” Draco smiled.

Albus screamed as the knife sunk itself into James’ chest and fell from his hand. It landed with a clatter on the floor as James crashed forward. Albus crashed beside him, trying to stop the bleeding with bare hands. It didn’t work, the blood flowing out from underneath his hands and into the water beside.

Albus’ sobs grew into pleading screams at Draco, broken up by apologies to James for what he had done. James stared up at the ceiling, eyes blank and glassy as his breathing started to slow. Albus buried his head in James’ shoulder, sobbing his apologies again and again.

Maybe he should have gone through with that suicide plan he made in fifth year.

* * *

Lily knocked on Ana’s door, waiting for Ana to respond before she opened it. She turned the lamp on and blinked a few times as the light flooded into the room. Ana was curled in the middle of the bed, all blankets discarded on the floor, tears running down her face. She looked up as Lily pushed the door closed.

“I’m sorry,” her voice cracked. “I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

“I was awake,” Lily said. “Can I sit?”

Ana nodded and Lily perched on the edge of the bed, taking in the sight in front of her. Ana had twisted the sheets around her feet and abandoned them to rock in the centre of the mattress. The blankets had been thrown off in a panic, twisted about as much as the bedsheet.

“Nightmare?” Lily asked.

“Yeah,” Ana nodded again. “I – I really don’t want to go back to sleep.”

Lily noted the girl’s shaking hands with a quiet, sad sigh. They would have to face that at some point, though how, Lily didn’t know. Very few people had done extensive research on the after-effects of the Cruciatus Curse. They rarely occurred in most cases, and given the seemingly fine line between insanity and these symptoms, most people didn’t notice them.

Before the war, it was rare for multiple people to have been tortured so much over a period of time, but afterwards, Healers had started to pick up on it. Suddenly, they had been able to study half the student body at Hogwarts. Symptoms had been researched. Cases had been diagnosed. Cures had not been discovered.

The most that could be done was a case-by-case prescription of anxiety and/or seizure medication. Whoever had been Minister for Magic at the time had attempted to instigate collaboration between Healers and Muggle doctors to find a cure. This was the reason that the Wizarding World now knew what the Cruciatus Curse did, and also the reason why Muggle Studies included random pieces of Muggle science that no one ever understood.

The teaching that the Cruciatus Curse only left mental scars except in the most extreme cases disappeared very quickly as students came back to Hogwarts in the September of 1998. Someone would leave a lesson at least once a day because they had mistimed their medication. And that was only the people who came back.

Lily didn’t know much about the science of the disorder, but she could spot it from a mile away. The shaking and the nightmares were always the first symptoms and once they were in place, there was no way to stop it. No one knew how to rewrite genetics.

“Do you want something to drink?” Lily murmured. Ana shook her head. “We could read a book? We haven’t got anything to do in the morning so we can stay up.”

“They said that’s not allowed.”

“Who said? My parents?”

“No. Them.”

“They’re not here,” Lily caught on, “and _I_ say, I say that we can stay up if we don’t want to go back to sleep. I think that’s completely fine. And in the morning, we can have a look for some things that might help you.”

Ana met Lily’s eyes as her own eyes swum with tears. “Do you know what’s wrong?”

“I have an idea,” Lily nodded. “But it’s going to be okay.”

“You promise?”

“I promise,” Lily nodded again. “Now, shall we find some books?”

Ana half-smiled and tried to get off the bed. She stumbled a little as she crossed the room to the bookshelf. Lily reached over to sort out the blankets, folding them and asking Ana to pick her a book too. She redid the bed sheet and fluffed up the pillows. When Ana came back to the bed, she asked if she could sit on it too, and the two of them snuggled up next to each other. Ana leant her head on Lily’s shoulder, opening her book with a quiet sigh.

Ana fell asleep half an hour later. She fell against Lily, the book tumbling from her hands, and Lily picked it up. She put it on the bedside table and laid Ana down properly. She then unfolded the blankets and made a makeshift bed on the floor. Whatever homework she had could wait.

*

Albus hadn’t moved in days. His legs had cramped multiple times. He had gritted his teeth through the pain and waited for it to subside. In the moments where he felt marginally more alive, he had found little details in the wall. But he never moved.

Moving meant looking at his sticky, blood-red hands. Moving meant using energy he didn’t have. Moving probably meant being sick. Well, not literally. He hadn’t eaten since he’d been at home. He’d have nothing left to throw up.

None of that mattered anymore. Every thought that crossed Albus’ mind featured James, on watching the light leave his eyes as the blood trickled into the water. It clouded in the water, perfectly catching what little sunlight entered the cavern.

Albus didn’t know where the body had ended up. Maybe the thing had fallen into the pool. He didn’t even know what had happened to James’ body. He might have passed out, but he didn’t recall that. The whole thing had just faded away and he’d woken up here. He hadn’t moved since.

The dehydration had stopped bothering him now. It had been a problem to begin with, but Albus’ body had either adjusted or shut the pain out. Or maybe this was delirium and that was why his body had entered a state of bliss, despite what his head was telling him. At one point, someone had probably entered the room and left again. They hadn’t done anything that Albus was aware of. He hadn’t looked over to check. They probably just wanted a laugh at his expense. He didn’t care anymore.

James should never have been involved in any of it. Albus shouldn’t have told him about meeting Scorpius. Albus shouldn’t have let him come the night Scorpius had escaped. Albus should never have let him come to rescue Scorpius when he’d had the inkling that it would be a bad idea.

Albus wanted to die. He wanted to Scorpius to survive because Scorpius still deserved to have a life. But he didn’t want or deserve to make it out alive. Or if he did, he wanted them to arrest him and charge him with James’ murder.

He had killed James. He had murdered his brother. Nothing would ever change that. Nothing could ever alter the fact that he had plunged a knife into his brother’s chest and watched him fade away.

Wherever he ended up next, he wanted to feel pain for what he had done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...don't kill me? I think my proof reader wanted to and if we were still able to see each other when she read that chapter, I think she would have.
> 
> Thanks for reading  
> Kudos and comments much appreciated  
> Twitter: @evie_adams273.
> 
> Black Lives Matter.  
> Fuck TERFs  
> Fuck Sia


	14. Don't Fight For Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Discussion of character death, Execution, Torture

Someone disturbed Albus eventually. The door opened, a sound followed by a short giggle and a figure sinking down by his feet. They nudged him, and then did it again when he didn’t respond.

“You haven’t drunk any of the water I left you,” Delphi’s voice filled the space.

“Wasn’t thirsty,” Albus rasped.

“Oh, don’t be so glum,” Delphi chirped. “I’ve killed plenty of people.”

“He was my brother.”

“Yes, well my family were already dead.” Pause. “Come on, sit up.”

Albus did so, leaning his head against the wall and forcing his eyes open. His limbs started to seize up with the movement and he spilled half the water from the mug Delphi pushed into his hands. She motioned for him to drink it. He didn’t move.

“Get on with it,” Delphi snapped. “You can’t die in here. We’re making it public.”

“Are you not using me as a ransom?” Albus sipped the water.

“We’ve got other plans,” Delphi grinned. “I think you’d like them. They still involve you dying.”

Albus smiled to himself, closing his eyes and letting his head flop forward a little. For once, their interests seemed to align. And Merlin he was tired. He could be happy about his world ending even if he didn’t deserve to be happy. Death would put an end to every ache and pain and cut on his body. It would just end it and bring a sort of nothingy bliss. All of the guilt and the fear would dissolve in an instant.

His family would have justice for their son’s death. Scorpius would be able to have a life with his proper family and they could adjust without being targets for hanging around with a Potter. Not that their lives would be plain sailing, but it would be so much easier without Albus.

“Keep yourself hydrated,” Delphi stood up. “If you die in here, Scorpius takes your place.”

* * *

They started to drag Albus to the hall each day after that. It did become a drag, given that Albus barely had the energy to lift his head up anymore. They would set him at Delphi’s feet. Delphi and her puppet would have their fun. Albus would be dragged back again.

Albus didn’t remember the specifics anymore. He didn’t know how many days passed. The only thing that stuck in his mind was what had happened with James. He relieved that every single moment he spent alone. He almost looked forward to Delphi’s evening visits, because even the goading, the cuts and bruises, the broken and repaired limbs, were all preferable to his own thoughts.

He still hadn’t eaten. He could feel his face starting to thin out somewhat but it didn’t matter. As Delphi kept promising, he would be dead soon. He just wished it would come sooner.

Sometimes, Albus would half-recall screaming to himself and shouting and slamming the injured parts of his body into the wall just to _feel_ something other than self-loathing. He didn’t know where his energy came from or disappeared to between these events.

Lily probably would have said something about adrenaline.

* * *

Albus never had his execution formally announced, at least not to him. But when the day came, his body knew. For the first time since James’ death, he was able to walk down towards the hall, head held high. A sort of final hurrah to announce to the world that he could do this without being scared.

He wasn’t scared of dying. Not anymore. The only thing that scared him, terrified him beyond belief, was leaving Scorpius alone. When Scorpius finally threw off the curse, he would have to grapple with the memories of everything he had been forced to do. Albus wanted to support him through that. He still loved Scorpius. Even if the idea of death seemed so comforting.

He carried on walking.

They didn’t go to the hall. The panic started to set in when Albus recognised the route Draco had led him down before. He quelled it with a little reminder that this would be quick. Maybe not painless, but he would be dead by the end of it. And this would stop him from being so happy about it. It would act as a little reminder of his crimes. He smiled to himself.

When they arrived in the cavern, it became very obvious that Delphi wanted this to be quite the occasion. The room was full, a new carpet setting out an aisle that led to the water’s edge. Delphi and Scorpius were stood there, their matching suits and shoulder capes framing everything about their aesthetic that they had worked to present. They were stood in the perfect space to pick up the breeze.

In front of them, on either side of the aisle, about a hundred people had congregated. All of them wore the same style of bone-backed robes and austere expressions, staring forward as if they had been charmed to remain still. Even the children in the audience, of whom there were a few, didn’t seem to break the trance.

Albus scanned the crowd, recognising a few people from various textbooks and wanted posters. Many of them looked ghostly, in much the way Scorpius had when Albus had first met him. Like none of them had seen the sun in twenty-eight years. Some of them probably hadn’t.

Albus went without complaint as his escort – Kaylee had somehow squared her way into this one – shoved him down towards the water. Albus slipped a few times, part of his mind considering if he would throw up the water he’d drunk. His stomach wanted to try.

He landed on his knees, wincing at the sharp pain it sent through his body. Delphi laughed, a sound that Albus had grown so used to that it no longer sent chills through his body. Scorpius pulled out his wand and passed Albus so that he stood behind him. Albus didn’t turn to look.

“Well,” Delphi smirked, “I think we all know why we’re here today. Even if our plans changed, it doesn’t meant that we can’t still have a bit of fun. It’s been a while since we’ve needed to use the Execution Chamber.”

Albus tried to ignore the sheer disgust that came from realising Delphi had set aside this cavern for the specific purpose of killing people. He tried to ignore the fact that he could see where James had been. He would join his brother soon. And if James never wanted to interact with him again, he could fully understand that.

James had had a life ahead of him. He’d been moving through the Auror ranks, though that wasn’t where he’d wanted to stay for much longer. At some point, he’d grown to hate the fame even more than Albus, and everything in his life had started to centre around the idea of a little cottage in the countryside. Just him and his family.

And that was all gone because Albus had been stupid enough to let him come with.

“Do you have any last words?” Delphi pulled Albus from his thoughts.

Albus paused. “Can I turn around?”

Delphi nodded and Albus turned so that he was looking Scorpius in the eye. He didn’t try to push his luck by standing. Scorpius lowered his wand and raised his eyebrows as Albus opened his mouth to speak.

“I’m not going to ask you not to kill me,” Albus murmured, forcing a smile onto his face, “because me being gone will bring the world so much peace. But I want you to know–”

“Get on with it,” Delphi snapped.

Albus breathed in.

“I love you, and I will always love you, no matter who is controlling you. And I know you’re struggling to fight back against those voices in your head. And I know the voice in there is worse than any voice you’ve ever had before. And I know what it’s telling you. But I need you to fight it. Just once. Fight it. Not for me. Don’t fight it for me. Fight it for your mum. Even if you don’t love me, even if you hate me, I know that no one could ever be powerful enough to stop you from loving her.”

Albus turned away again, not allowing himself to think about the three times Scorpius’ eyes had softened, or the two times where he had glazed over. He turned around again, raising his eyes to the little bit of sunlight peeking through the ceiling. August. It would be early August by now.

He smiled.

More to Albus’ shock than dismay, he was still alive a few seconds later, when a curse collided with him. Not the Killing Curse. Not a curse he recognised in any sense. His entire body tingled, the sensation particularly unpleasant around his neck and head. It kept fluctuating between light and near painful and, when Albus did let out a shriek of pain, he realised what had happened and began screaming properly.

Whatever this failed Cruciatus Curse was, it would be safer for everyone involved if he just pretended until it stopped.

Albus screamed, collapsing against the rock as he kept howling and writhing in non-existent pain until he tumbled into the water with a genuine shriek. The tingling stopped after that and Albus started to fight the water to get back to the rocky shore. The cold sent shock waves through his system, slowing up every ounce of energy he had temporarily possessed. Even as he fought the water, the ice had started to creep into his veins and he started to fall away. Drowning wouldn’t be too bad, would it?

It was another thing he didn’t get the chance to find out, because several pairs of hands grabbed him and pulled him out onto the shore. He lay, coughing his lungs up, as a conversation ensued above him. He didn’t care what they said. Something about why he hadn’t been killed. Something about not giving him what he wanted.

Albus closed his eyes, curling in on himself and trying to conserve heat. His clothes were soaked through, rubbing against his now-damp skin. He could feel puddles forming around him and seeping back down his sleeves. So maybe it would be the hypothermia that killed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot how short this chapter is. I have been back at school for two days (when writing this) and have already had a meltdown because apparently some people *grits teeth* can't be fucking organised. How are yall lives?
> 
> Anyways...
> 
> If any person reading this has ever said ‘Not All Men’ and actually been serious about that, please fuck off my page. Because women are tired. AFAB people are tired. And it’s been said before and it’ll have to be said again. So if you don’t understand why ‘Not All Men’ is a huge problem, get your ass off my page and have a google. And then reconsider every relationship you have with other people. 
> 
> Thanks for reading  
> Kudos and comments much appreciated  
> Twitter: @evie_adams273
> 
> Black Lives Matter  
> Fuck TERFs  
> Fuck Sia


End file.
